The wise one answered, “Definitely Parkinsons – Better to spill half my wine than to forget where I keep the bottle.”
bombings, New York Governor Andrew M. Cuomo and the New York
Legislature late last night passed emergency legislation making New
York the first state to prohibit the sale of pressure cookers. Under
the legislation, owners of pressure cookers with a capacity of more
than 10 quarts will have one year to dispose of them out-of-state.
Owners of pressure cookers with capacities of 10 quarts or less may
keep them, but may not fill them with more than 7 quarts unless on a
gas range. In a widely anticipated technical amendment needed to
correct an evident oversight in the haste to get the new law passed,
it is expected that celebrity cook-offs held in connection with
political fundraisers will also be exempted from the assault cooker ban,
which is now the strictest pot law in the nation.
allotted time of 1 year, will be recycled into guns as shown below.
A blonde teenager, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a “handy-woman” and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.
“Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch,” he said, “How much will you charge me?”
Delighted, the girl quickly responded, “How about $50?”
The man agreed and told her that the paint brushes and everything she would need was in the garage. The man’s wife, hearing the conversation said to her husband, “Does she realize that our porch goes ALL the way around the house?”
He responded, “That’s a bit cynical, isn’t it?”
The wife replied, “You’re right. I guess I’m starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes we’ve been getting by email lately.”
Later that day, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
“You’re finished already?” the startled husband asked.
“Yes, the blonde replied, and I even had paint left over, so I gave it two coats.”
Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50.00 and handed it to her along with a $10.00 tip.
“And by the way, “the blonde added, “it’s not a Porch, it’s a Lexus.”
Wood died April 18 of natural causes at his Sierra Madre home, his son Steven Wood said Saturday.
Wood was a 22-year-old Navy officer in charge of communications on a landing ship on Iwo Jima’s shores Feb. 23, 1945 when a Marine asked him for the biggest flag that he could find.
After five days of fighting to capture the Japanese-held island, U.S. forces had managed to scale Mount Suribachi to hoist an American flag.
Wood happened to have a 37-square-foot flag he had found months before in a Pearl Harbor Navy depot. .
Five Marines and a Navy Corpsman later raised that flag in a stirring moment captured by Associated Press photographer Joe Rosenthal.
Steven Wood says his father was always humbled by his small role in the historic moment.
In a 1945 letter to a Marine general who asked for details about the flag, Wood wrote: “The fact that there were men among us who were able to face a situation like Iwo where human life is so cheap, is something to make humble those of us who were so very fortunate not to be called upon to endure such hell.”
In its story on Wood’s death, the Los Angeles Times reported that over the years others have claimed that they provided the flag, but retired Marine Col. Dave Severance, who commanded the company that took Mount Suribachi, said in an interview last week that it was Wood.
“I have a file of more than 60 people who claim to have had something to do with the flags,” he said from his home in La Jolla, Calif.
Wood went on to work as technical artist and spokesman at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory in La Canada Flintridge.
His wife, Elizabeth, died in 1985. Besides his son, Wood was survived by three grandchildren.