Archive | May 2013



The Editor:   That is a pretty big assignment for a cat, Lois.

Cosmos Cat:    It’s pretty simple,  man is out of place.  When there is no need for stealing, cheating, murdering, poisoning, lying, destroying, enslaving, and just killing people for enjoyment,  man is “johnny on the spot”.

The Editor:   Can you give our vile, venomous, hateful, disgusting, pitiful readers an example, Cosmos Cat ?

Universe Cat:  Here is one example,  thankfully we don’t worry about this on Cumberland,  as Amigo inspects all medicines that we import.  On Cumberland you don’t have to worry about TGIF—Thank Goodness It’s Fake/Forgery.

The Editor:   All the inspections must keep this Amigo Guy pretty busy ?

Spirit Cat:   Here is an example of one day of inspection.

Amigo does have the Wine Angels if things become too hectic.

The Editor:  What happens if a lawbreaker is caught,  is he sent to Devil’s Island ?

Beach Front Cat:  Shucks no,  he is sent to our beach cottage for three days.   Each day he is given a loaf of bread and gallon of water.  The cottage is ocean front, actually it is a cave carved by the ocean into solid rock.   We put a steel jail door on the front.  As the tide rises the patron has to climb the rungs on the door to keep from drowning.   When the tide recedes if there are any sea creatures left on the sand he has breakfast/dinner.

The Editor:  Is that cruel and unusual punishment ?

BFC:   It is in our Constitution,  if 75 % of the people object they can change the Constitution.   So far there hasn’t been any communication problems.

The Editor:  What is the goal of Cumberland’s justice system, BFC ?

Attorney General Cat:   To keep streets safe, even at two in the morning, to get rid of leeches and rats.  To not pay a dime of public money for losers.

All needy programs are handled by donations, and non-profits.  If problem citizens can’t follow the law it is not our goal to show them the light.

The Editor:  AGC, do you have a song ?

AGC:  Try these.



The Editor:  Lois, can you answer some follow up questions from our loyal readers ?

Summer Cat:  For sure.

The Editor:   Here is one from Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade,  will the Jersey Boardwalk be completed for summer, or will Jersey’s Governor have to be a float in the parade- to earn money ?

Helium Cat:   What a great question, here is Governor Cristie in last year’s parade.

Helium Cat:  He fell on his stomach, and similar to a turtle on its back, couldn’t get up.

At least he is entertaining, like a rodeo or State Fair.

The Editor:  HC,  Amigo has your grilled mouse,  could you leave us a song ?

HC:   I like these.                                                                Performed by Johnny Towery



The Editor:    Our Memorial Day comments.

Veteran Cat:  If it isn’t cloudy, check out this celestial show.



The stunning part of this story is that Tyrone Woods and Glen Doherty killed 60 of the attacking force.Once the compound was overrun, the attackers were incensed to discover that just two men had inflicted so much death and destruction.

The news has been full of the attacks on our embassies throughout the Muslim world, and in particular, the deaths of Ambassador Chris Stevens and three others in Benghazi, Libya.

However, there’s a little known story of incredible bravery, heroics, and courage that should be the top story.

So what actually happened at the U.S. embassy in Libya? We are learning more about this every day. Ambassador Stevens and Foreign Service officer Sean Smith, along with administrative staff, were working out of temporary quarters due to the fact that in the spring of 2011 during the so-called Arab Spring, the United States cut ties with then president Moammar Gadhafi. Our embassy was looted and ransacked, causing it to be unusable. It is still in a state of disrepair.

Security for embassies and their personnel is to be provided by the host nation. Since Libya has gone through a civil war of sorts in the past 18 months, the current government is very unstable, and therefore, unreliable

A well-organized attack by radical Muslims was planned specifically targeting the temporary U.S. embassy building. The Libyan security force that was in place to protect our people deserted their post, or joined the attacking force. Either way, our people were in a real fix. And it should be noted that Ambassador Stevens had mentioned on more than one occasion to Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, that he was quite concerned for his personal safety and the welfare of his people. It is thought that Ambassador Stevens was on a “hit list.”

A short distance from the American compound, two Americans were sleeping. They were in Libya as independent contractors working an assignment totally unrelated to our embassy. They also happened to be former Navy Seal’s.

When they heard the noise coming from the attack on our embassy, as you would expect from highly trained warriors, they ran to the fight. Apparently, they had no weapons, but seeing the Libyan guards dropping their guns in their haste in fleeing the scene, Tyrone Woods and Glen Doherty snatched up several of these discarded weapons and prepared to defend the American compound.

Not knowing exactly what was taking place, the two Seal’s set up a defensive perimeter. Unfortunately Ambassador Stevens was already gravely injured, and Foreign Service officer, Sean Smith, was dead. However, due to their quick action and suppressive fire, twenty administrative personnel in the embassy were able to escape to safety. Eventually, these two courageous men were overwhelmed by the sheer numbers brought against them, an enemy force numbering between 100 to 200 attackers which came in two waves. But the stunning part of the story is that Tyrone Woods and Glen Doherty killed 60 of the attacking force. Once the compound was overrun, the attackers were incensed to discover that just two men had inflicted so much death and destruction.

As it became apparent to these selfless heroes, they were definitely going to lose their lives unless some reinforcements showed up in a hurry. As we know now, that was not to be. I’m fairly certain they knew they were going to die in this gun fight, but not before they took a whole lot of bad guys with them!

Consider these tenets of the Navy SEAL Code:

1) Loyalty to Country, Team and Teammate,

2) Serve with Honor and Integrity On and Off the Battlefield,

3) Ready to Lead, Ready to Follow, Never Quit,

4) Take responsibility for your actions and the actions of your teammates,

5) Excel as Warriors through Discipline and Innovation,

6) Train for War, Fight to Win, Defeat our Nation’s Enemies, and…

7) Earn your Trident every day

Thank you, Tyrone and Glen. To the very last breath, you both lived up to the SEAL Code. You served all of us well. You were courageous in the face of certain death.

And Tyrone, even though you never got to hold your newborn son, he will grow up knowing the character and quality of his father, a man among men who sacrificed himself defending others.

Dr. Charles R. Roots

Senior Pastor

Former Staff Sergeant,

USMC Captain,

U. S. Navy Chaplain Corps (Ret.)



Amigo:  What an interesting title,  Lois.   Are reclusive people different from others ?

Lois Lion:  Where is the editor,  why am I brown ? 

Amigo:  It’s time for your performance review.  The Editor is on vaCATion.

Lois Lion:  That is a little better.  I don’t have time to be politically correct.     The most RECLUSIVE PEOPLE IN AMERICA ARE THE SENATORS, PRESIDENT, REPRESENTATIVES,  AND SUPREME COURT members. 

The previous mentioned government employees can’t even ride a frigging bicycle.

Amigo;  That is a shame.  Solitary Cat, are you trying to report that most High Level government employees are out of touch with America ?

Solitary Cat:  Exactly, all of them live in gated communities, have taxpayer provided bodyguards, government airplanes,  and secret hiding places.  Here is one I discovered in our archives.

Amigo:  They seem to be Gin drinkers, SC ?

Hermit Cat:  They are, it always leads to no good.  You can’t trust Gin drinkers.               (  The quote is at hour 2:39  )

Amigo:  HC,  have you ever seen a live big shot politician ?

Misanthropist Cat:  No, they come out live once a year, like Punxsutawney Phil.

Amigo:  Do you have a suitable song, MC ?

MC:  I like these.



The Editor:  Lois, more teens were killed texting while driving than DUI.

High Tech Cat:  Amigo thought about passing a law against texting while driving, but we quit interrupting the lives of everyone for stupid people.  On some occasions it is necessary.  It is like putting a speed bump on a rarely traveled street.  You inconvenience everyone because of a few ” retards “.

The Editor:  What is the law on Cumberland ? 

iPhone Cat:  We take the car, sell it, and give the money to the less fortunate.  If the owner objects he is banished for life.  I covered this in a previous article.

The Editor:  Isn’t that a little stern ?

Laser Cat:  It is unfortunate, but it works.  It is the driver’s misfortune.  If a parent wants to pull a dead child from a car that is their business, but we are protecting the people the texter will kill.

We like it like that.

It’s the law.,747679490

The Editor:  Is there a proper song, Laser Cat ?

Laser Cat:  No.