Archive | August 2013



The Editor:  Do you celebrate Labor Day on Cumberland, Lois ?

Working Cat:   We sure do, we like to honor our productive citizens.   Just, don’t celebrate too much. 

The Editor:  Was there an emergency recently—with a Hovercraft involved ?

WC:   No, Amigo had an order of Tequila, Salt Shakers, Southern Comfort, and Alka-Seltzer  delivered for Monday.

Here are two videos  for Connie,  Anon., and other new readers.  Every family has an acre of ocean front.

We want to caution our loyal readers,  buckle up, someone has to live to pay for the illegals many benefits ( on the mainland ).

The Editor:  I just hope everyone relaxes and stays out of trouble.

Sand Cat:  Me to.





Al Gore:   Why doesn’t everyone believe me about global warming ?

Meteorologist Cat:  You have no credentials in anything but being a sleazy politician.   Besides, you sold your TV station to Al-Jazeera.  Where are all the hurricanes ?

Paula Dean:   Hey, you frigging Calico Cat, what is a good vegetable that goes with crow ?

Healthy Cat:   This is  one of the most overlooked healthy vegetables.

Monopoly Spokesman/woman/gltghwb/etc.:   Are you glad that a cat is a token in Monopoly ?

Fat Cat:  Absolutely,  I like Paladin better.

Casey Jones Ghost:  Why would illiterate illegal immigrants steal railroad spikes from cross ties ?

Cannon Ball Express Cat:  They are illiterate, they can’t even write in Spanish.  Welcome to America——-ALL   ABBBBOOOOARD.



The Editor:  Lois, it sure looks like Nobel Peace Prize Winner O wants to bomb Syria, what do you think ?

Middle East Cat:  Our government wants us in a permanent state of war.  He is helping Al-Qaeda.  Him and the other war mongers should saddle up and go over there.   Our voters elected them.   Like Bush and that Congress,  these losers will leave office in a few years, and leave our veterans unsupported,   LISTED AHEAD OF MUSLIM EXTREMIST AS THREATS TO AMERICA.

The Editor:   Can you move about freely over there, MEC ?

MEC:  Sure, I just dress as the locals dress.

O doesn’t even know who used the Sarin Gas.

The Editor:  What about Miley Cyrus’ sex show ?

Porn Cat:  Who cares ?   She has Madonna  ( use by date- expired ), Lady Gaga ( creepy ), Taylor Swift  ( no waist ) to vie for media attention.  She should do a porn movie.   She can replace Lindsay Lohan in the magazines.

Speaking of Disney employees Mickey and Minnie are divorcing.

The Editor:  That is sad, is it true that Mickey said Minnie was insane/crazy at the trial,  PC ?

Hollywood Rumor Cat:   No, he said that she was Foxtrot, Uniform, Charlie, Kilo, India, November, Golf,   Goofey.

The Editor:  That is unfortunate, do you have a song, HRC ?

HRC:  These.



The Editor:   Are you guys on Cumberland worried about GWCC,   Lois ?

Earth Cat:    We couldn’t care less,  we will all be dead, but our budget is balanced.  Most of our power is solar, so we aren’t contributing to Al Bore’s income.    

The Editor:  What happens if there is an emergency, like Amigo’s Ice maker needs power or the Wine Angels need power ?

Positive Electron Cat:   We all would do our duty.   Here is a training film.  Some are still working on the Bunny Method, but it will work out.  Cats are a little bit apprehensive to take on new duties.

The Editor:   You guys organized all that without washington d c  ?

Magneto Cat:   Yes.  We use magnetos in emergencies.  As we learned last week electricity can be dangerous, especially on train tops.   We are very careful.

The Editor:   You aren’t concerned about the future ?

Peaceful Cat:   No,  we all have English as language one, and paper ballots-so they can be recounted.  

Here is our most requested video.

The Editor:  It must be the sedate and modest values of the  ” olden ” days.

Dance Cat:   That must be it.





The Editor:   That must certainly be a powerful law, Lois ?  Even Pluto, no longer a planet,  is still going around the sunIf you can simplify it tell our loyal readers about this unusual law. 

Isaac Newton Cat:  When any government anywhere creates an agency, bureau, department, or group to complete a task, it is never done away with, even after the task is completed.

The Editor:   That is amazing, didn’t America go back to prewar accountability after killing a million  Japs and Krauts ?

Bureaucracy Cat:   No,  they just changed the names of the agencies.  The government is bigger now.   The politicians have increased their power and income.  The US Defense Budget is larger than all other countries in the world COMBINED defense spending.  Here is the breakdown.

The Editor:  I wonder how we defeated the aforementioned without a Department of Homeland Security ?

Intern Cat:  Amigo has three secretaries,  here is a picture of President Obama’s  unpaid interns  ( many are missing, due to having sex with The Secret Service ).

The Editor:   Will the  U. S.    government crash like the Soviet Union, IC  ?

Veteran Cat:  You bet,  when veterans, patriots, and founding father’s are classified as extremist, who is going to defend the government ?

Honey Cat:  Here is a song dedicated to Wronda, a loyal reader.

Here is another reason you shouldn’t worry about things in this world.



The Editor:   Do you import a lot of things on Cumberland, Lois ?

ICE Cat:   A bunch,  we try to inspect everything, to keep out things that don’t have natural enemies here.

The Editor:   Do you find a lot of smuggling going on ?

ICEC:   For sure, some of the worst are snakes and other predators.  We just want exotic creatures to remain exotic.  Here are two examples.

Without natural enemies to control them imported animals destroy native inhabitants.

The Editor:   Do you have an example ?

Native Cat:  The best example is to ask Native Americans,  they are found mostly on reservations.

The Editor:  What is your most unusual case ?

Colombo Cat:  I caught this guy sneaking in,  in a box of Ohio Matches.

Thank Goodness and the Ghost of my Aunt Leona that he didn’t use the Diamond Strike  Anywhere Matches.  The whole island could have gone up in flames.

Be careful of snakes and fire.