Archive | September 2013



The Editor:  Haven’t you beaten the government to death, Lois ? 

WEATHER EVENT:  Here is a storm in the Atlantic Ocean, it is making cotton ball clouds coming from the East, instead of mercury filled Chem Trails.

Modest Cat:  Not yet, these people are just full of themselves.  They think that winning an election means they can rob Ft. Knox and live on Air Force One.

The Editor:  Do you have an example, for our loyal readers ?

Humble Cat:  This creep is as bad as Feinstein.

The Editor:  What can we do, as long as they keep getting elected, HC ?

Meek Cat:   Make fun of them and hope they have stolen enough money to retire and be with their family.   Power keeps them in office.





The Editor:  What do you think about Senator Feinstein wanting Congress to pass laws defining who is a journalist,  Lois ?,0,5900019.story

Lois Lion Reporter:  She is one creepy creature.   Here is file video of her creation/birth.

Taping all of our calls/emails isn’t enough, she wants to limit whistle blowers or anyone releasing information critical of The Federal Government.  If the sources of a reporter’s story are not protected they will dry-up.  What if Deep Throat faced prison ?

They want the first amendment almost as much as the second.  The Sphinx gets more accurate American news from The Telegraph in England.

What we should do is investigate her finances and her husband’s government contracts.

Hopefully, one day the people will wise-up.



The Editor:    Are you qualified to give consumer advice,  Lois ?

Consumer Cat:  I don’t give advice, but if I did this would be hanging on my cat tree.

New York State:   Can we ever trust anyone ?!-Fake-online-reviews-targeted-by-N.Y.-attorney-general

Cherry Tree Cat:   Never believe any kind of endorsement or commercial/advertisement without checking several sources.  NEVER BUY THE FIRST MODEL OF ANYTHING NEW.

The Editor:   Can you give an example, George Washington Cat ?

GWC:    Here is a current one.   They didn’t make it faulty deliberately, it just wasn’t tested thoroughly.

They didn’t make these lemons deliberately, it was just shoddy Quality Control.  It just stops on its own in traffic, what’s the big deal.  A previous model had steering wheels falling off.  This recall is for cars/trucks rolling away after you put them in Park.  Some people live or park on inclines.

The Editor:  Those are terrible GWC, is there an answer to these problems ?

Pyro Cat:   Buy a Fisker, one made before they went bankrupt.  They would just catch on fire.  You could park in your garage, have a drink, dinner, etc., and the thing would catch on fire and burn down your house and kill your family.    Al Gore was on the Board of Directors, and got a 500 million dollar loan from American Taxpayers.

The Editor:  It sure would be terrible for a car to stall or slow down in the middle of traffic.

Fill’er Up Cat:  It sure would.



South Korean Government:  Lois Lion, could you help us get a better plane than the F-15 ?

Bong Cat:  Are you ungrateful people for real ?  The F-15 is the only plane Bong makes that actually flies.  The Post Office should use them.  Neither rain, sleet nor dark of night will keep these speedy union members from sucking all the money from the taxpayers.

If I was in charge I would bring all Americans home from South Korea.  Just sneak a nuclear bomb across the border, and blow them up.  There is no reason for our troops to stay any longer.

Mexican Government:  Can you help with our hurricane disaster ?

Latin Cat:  No, if tourist are too stupid to leave with a weeks notice that is their problem.  I wouldn’t help people hiking in Afghanistan, or people skiing in avalanche labeled ski- resorts, either.

Mexican Government:  That seems unfair ?

Fair Cat:   That is the way it goes.  I have developed a deep abiding ambivalence toward Mexico.



The Editor:  Can you explain the immigration policy on Cumberland, Lois ?

Inspector Cat:   As I explained before,  you need to speak English, know our history, affirm allegiance, and have a job or a sponsor who is responsible for you.  This is our Island motto, and no illegals are going to spoil our home.

The Editor:   Is Amigo serious about the policy ?

Papers Cat:  You bet, and our citizens.   ” If.  “ifs”  and  ” buts”   were candy and nuts everyone would have a happy life (sic).

You walk the line on immigration,   no running allowed.

The Editor:  That doesn’t seem fair.

Geographical Cat:  LIFE IS UNFAIR.  You can’t always get what you want.

The Editor:  You mean illegals don’t have Constitutional Rights ?

Legal Beagle  Cat:   That’s affirmative,  this sign is at all of our immigration points.  Only citizens have Constitutional Rights. THERE ARE NO EXCEPTIONS.

Songs for today:





The Editor:   What would happen if the government shut down, Lois ?

Fat Cat:  Only essential employees would be paid. 

The Editor:   Who is essential, FC ?

Essential Cat:   Congress, The President, and Supremes.    Their secret whores and teenagers will still have their apartments.          

The Editor:  Will the ” Roach Coach ”  still make its’ rounds, EC ?

Koala  Cat:  Absolutely,  just like Dr. Pepper  at   10    2    4    depending on your agency.

There is also an emergency bus, loaned by a current NFL player ( so far ).   On the party bus just ask for Sweet Pea and a little Ace of Spades.