Archive | December 2013

Clint Eastwood—Twilight Years


As I enjoy my twilight years, I am often struck by the inevitability that the party must end.


There will be a clear, cold morning when there isn’t any “more.”


No more hugs, no more special moments to celebrate together, no more phone calls just to chat.


It seems to me that one of the important things to do before that morning comes,


is to let every one of your family and friends know that you care for them by finding simple ways


to let them know your heartfelt beliefs and the guiding principles of your life so they can always say,


“He was my friend, and I know where he stood.”
So, just in case I’m gone tomorrow, please know this …….






I voted against that incompetent, lying, flip-flopping, insincere, double-talking, radical socialist,


terrorist excusing, bleeding heart, narcissistic, scientific and economic moron


currently in the White House!






 Einstein was born March 14, 1879. He would be nearly 132 if he were alive today.
 Few people remember that he married his cousin, Elsa Lowenthal, after his first 
 marriage failed in 1919.
 At the time he stated that he was attracted to Elsa "because she was so well endowed".
 He postulated that if you are attracted to women with large breasts, the attraction 
 is even stronger if there is a DNA connection.
 This came to be known as........Einstein's Theory of "Relative Titty."
Oh, stop moaning! I don't write this stuff. I receive it from
my warped friends, and then send it on to the rest of my warped friends. Weez a family.
Anyway, it beats the hell out of all that political crap.

A wife solves her husband’s problems…..

old car

After being married for 50 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, “Fifty years ago we had a cheap house, a junk car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep with a hot 23-year-old girl every night.

Now, I have a $500,000 home, a $45,000 car, a nice big bed and a large screen TV, but I’m sleeping with a 69-year-old woman. It seems to me that you’re not holding up your side of things.”

My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 23-year-old girl and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap house, driving a junk car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV.

Aren’t older women great? They really know how to solve an old guy’s problems.



A Cajun named, Jean Paul, moved to Texas and bought a donkey from
an old farmer named Ben for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the
donkey the next day.

The next day, Ben drove up and said, “Sorry, but I have some bad news.
The donkey died.”
“Well, then, just give me the money back,” said Jean Paul
“Can’t do that. I went and spent it already.” Replied Ben
“OK, then. Just unload the donkey,” said Jean Paul.
“What ya going to do with him?” asked Ben.
“I’m going to raffle him off,” said Jean Paul.
“You can’t raffle off a dead donkey!” uttered Ben.
“Sure can. Watch me. I just won’t tell that he’s dead,” said Jean Paul.

A month later Ben met up with the Cajun and asked, “What happened
with that dead donkey?”
“I raffled him off, I did. I sold 500-hunderd tickets at two dollars apiece
and made a profit of $898,” said Jean Paul.
“Didn’t anyone complain?” inquired Ben.
“Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back,” said Jean Paul.

Many Thanks from Lois Lion

I wish to say a very special “Thank You” to my subordinates at Tolley’s Topics. That is, without a doubt, the nicest litter box I have ever seen. I am giving all of you New Years Day off so that you can relocate it to our facility.

litter box

 Happy New Years’ To you all…I am leaving now to go shopping…

CEO, Tolley’s Topics

Ms. Lois Lion

New U.S. Army Rifle

(Why Tell Everyone??)

Maybe so they’ll run away and save the cost of a bullet?

The MXT135 Counter Defilade Target Engagement System has a range of roughly 7,800 feet – and is to be deployed in Afghanistan soon. I would call it the “Equalizer.” Some call it the “Punisher”.
The rifle’s gun sight uses a laser range finder to determine the exact distance to the obstruction, after which the soldier can add or subtract up to 10 meters from that distance to enable the bullets to clear the barrier and explode above or beside the target.
Soldiers will be able to use them to target snipers hidden in trenches rather than calling in air strikes.
The 35-millimeter round contains a chip that receives a radio signal from the gun sight as to the precise distance to the target.
Lt. Col. Christopher Lehner, project manager for the system, described the weapon as a ‘game-changer’ that other nations will try and copy.
The Army plans to buy 42,500 of the MXT135 rifles this year, enough for every member of the infantry and special forces, at a cost of $11,900.00 each.
Lehner told Fox News: “With this weapon system, we take away cover from [enemy targets] forever. Tactics are going to have to be rewritten. The only thing we can see [enemies] being able to do is run away.”
Experts say the rifle means that enemy troops will no longer be safe if they take cover. The MXT135 appears to be the perfect weapon for street-to-street fighting that troops in Afghanistan have to engage in, with enemy fighters hiding behind walls and only breaking cover to fire occasionally.
The weapon’s laser finder would work out how far away the enemy was and then the U.S. Soldier would add one meter using a button near the trigger.
When fired, the explosive round would carry exactly one meter past the wall and explode with the force of a hand grenade above the Taliban fighter.
The army’s project manager for new weapons, Douglas Tamilio, said: ”This is the first leap-ahead technology for troops that we’ve been able to develop and deploy.”
A patent granted to the bullet’s maker,
Alliant Tech systems, reveals that the chip can determine how far it has traveled. Mr. Tamilio said: “You could shoot a Javelin missile, and it would cost about $69,000. These rounds will end up costing $45.00 apiece.”
They’re relatively cheap. Lehner added: “This is a game-changer. The enemy has learned to get cover, for hundreds if not thousands of years. Well, they can’t do that anymore. We’re taking that cover from them and there’s only two outcomes: We’re going to get you behind that cover or force you to flee.” The rifle will initially use high-explosive rounds, but its makers say that it might later use versions with smaller explosive charges that aim to stun rather than kill.
What one of the revolutionary bullets looks like that can be pre-programmed to explode to hit troops that are hiding.
GO USA !!!
(Contributed by George Mickle)