Archive | June 2016

The Butterfly Effect

IDIOT

In Chaos Theory, the “butterfly effect” is the name given to the sensitive connection between initial conditions in which an insignificant event in one state in non-linear systems, can result in sometimes catastrophic events in the universal state.

In other words, although unlikely, it is possible for a butterfly flapping its wings in Texas to cause a typhoon in the Japanese Sea.
Case in point, in mid-20th Century America, a loose 18-year-old hippie female in a Honolulu college had sex with an older, alcoholic Kenyan man on a student visa, who had a wife and child back in Africa. And this less than significant event started the collapse and dissolution of the United States of America.
(Thanks, CB)

Jokes…………..

dt

Modern Day Medical Terms
Two young girls were reading when one girl said to the other, “I’m never having kids.”

“Why?” said the other.

And the girl replied, “Because I heard they take 9 months to download.”

Spraying the Vegetables
My wife asked me to buy ORGANIC vegetables from the market. I went and looked around and couldn’t find any. So I grabbed an old, tired looking employee and said, “These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?”

The produce guy looked at me and said, “No. You’ll have to do that yourself.”

I DON’T THINK SO, HONEY

Have you ever had a hair stylist that is so much fun….. you wish your grey roots would show more quickly? I do. I never tell names without permission, so I will not include that here on Tolley’s Topics.

My hair stylist is a beautiful young lady. She is the mother of four children, probably ranging in age from 3 to 13. Yesterday, as she colored my ever-so grey roots, she was telling about her husband wanting a man cave. Here is why she says that will never happen.

“What did you say? You want a man cave? Let me think about that just a minute. You are home about 10 hours a day, of which you sleep 8. Meanwhile, when I am here, I have 4 kids to tend. They are fussing, screaming, following me everywhere while I am cleaning, cooking, washing clothes, and being referee. Do you remember the big, comfortable pillow that I bought for myself….well, yesterday our youngest son followed me into our bedroom, picked up my pillow, named it Willy, and took it to his room. I cannot have my own pillow…..

And you want a man cave. That AIN’T happening.”