Archive | August 2016

60 th Wedding Anniversary

Image result for pic for 60 wedding anniversary

Their three kids, all successful, agreed to a Sunday dinner in their honor.  “Happy  Anniversary Mom and Dad,” gushed Son No.1.   ‘Sorry I’m running late. I had an emergency at the hospital with a patient, you know how it is, and I didn’t have time to get you a gift.”

“Not to worry,” said the father.    “Important thing is we’re all together today.”

 

Son No. 2 arrived. “You and Mom look great, Dad. I just flew in from Montreal between depositions and didn’t have time to shop for you.

“It’s nothing,” said the father. “We’re glad you were able to come.

 

Just then the daughter arrived,   “Hello and happy anniversary! Sorry, but my boss is sending me out of town and I was really busy packing so I didn’t have time to get you anything.”  After they had finished dessert, the father said,

“There’s something your mother and I have wanted to tell you for a long time. You see, we were really poor, but we managed to send each of you to college.  Through the years your mother and I knew we loved each other very much, but we just never found the time to get married.”

The three children gasped and said, “WHAT? You mean we’re bastards?”

“Yep”, said the father. “Cheap ones, too . .         .”

What’s Wrong With Me?

Image result for funny doctor pics about lazy men

A man told his doctor that he wasn’t able to do all the things around the house that he used to do.

When the examination was complete, he said, “Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me.”

“Well, in plain English,” the doctor replied, “you’re just lazy.”

“Okay,” said the man. “Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife.”

Grandpa Karaoke

Image result for funny pic of hippopotamus

My three hundred plus pound of a grandfather loves to do karaoke. One night he was really into some heavy metal rock and roll song, even doing an air guitar routine.

Well, after he was done a young fellow came up to him and said, “You are a hip old dude!”

My grandfather snapped back, “Who you callin’ a hippo – dude?!?!”