Archive | October 2016

Vice President Pride

Image result for peas canned and frozen

Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end.

Finally she couldn’t take it any longer, and told him, “Listen, it means nothing, they even have a vice president of peas at the grocery store!”

“Really?” he said. Not sure if this was true or not, Tom decided to call the grocery store.

A clerk answers and Tom says, “Can I please talk to the Vice President of peas?”

The clerk replies, “Canned or frozen?”

THEN and NOW

Somewhere between THEN and NOW, she has decided that she is worth over $20 Million a year. Look people….that was obviously an expensive operation.

Image result for megyn kelly before surgery

 Megyn Kelly Seeks Salary North of $20 Million in Contract Talks With Fox News

‘The Kelly File’ host is in active negotiations; keeping her at the network is a priority for management, including Rupert Murdoch. ‘It’s up to her’ and others ‘would give their right arm for her spot,’ he says.

Matching Shoes

John and Nancy were married for 40 years and decided they wanted to renew their vows and planned a second wedding.

They were discussing the details with their friends. Nancy wasn’t going to wear a traditional bridal gown and she started describing the dress she was planning to wear. One of her friends asked what color shoes she had to go with the dress.

Nancy replied, “Silver.”
At that point, her husband chimed in, “Yep, silver…to match her hair.”

Image result for barefoot

Shooting a glaring look at John’s bald spot, Nancy’s friend said, “So, John, I guess you are going barefoot then.”