A man in a hurry, taking his 8-year-old son to school, made a turn at a red light where it was prohibited.
“Uh-oh, I just made an illegal turn!” the man said.
“Aw, Dad, it’s probably okay,” the son said. “The police car right behind us just did the same thing.”
After we had lunch with another couple, the girls went shopping, and the guys opted to go sailing. Bad decision as a storm blew in while us guys were out on the water.
Making matters worse, the tide had gone out, grounding the boat. We had to climb overboard and shove it back into deep water.
As my friend stood there, ankles deep in muck, muscles straining against the weight of the boat, and rain pelting his face, he grinned broadly and with unmistakable sincerity said, “Sure beats shopping!”
Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.
Since it’s the early worm that gets eaten by the bird,sleep late.
The second mouse gets the cheese.
When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.
We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull.
Some have weird names and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.
A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on detour.
Have an awesome day and know that someone has thought about you today.
AND MOST IMPORTANTLY
Save the earth….. It’s the only planet with chocolate!
Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says~~
“Oh Crap, She’s up!”
A woman offers a brand-new car for sale for a price of ten dollars.
A man answers the ad, but he’s slightly disbelieving. “What’s the catch?” he inquires.
“No catch,” the woman answers. “My husband died, and in his will he asked that the car be sold and the money go to his secretary.”
My mentor asked me recently if I had noticed how much Chuck Schumer looks like a devil? Then I noticed…..