Archive | March 2017

It’s Probably Okay, Dad

Animated police cherries lit ...

 

A man in a hurry, taking his 8-year-old son to school, made a turn at a red light where it was prohibited.

“Uh-oh, I just made an illegal turn!” the man said.

“Aw, Dad, it’s probably okay,” the son said. “The police car right behind us just did the same thing.”

Sailing vs. Shopping

Image result for pic of cartoon sail boat

After we had lunch with another couple, the girls went shopping, and the guys opted to go sailing. Bad decision as a storm blew in while us guys were out on the water.

Making matters worse, the tide had gone out, grounding the boat. We had to climb overboard and shove it back into deep water.

As my friend stood there, ankles deep in muck, muscles straining against the weight of the boat, and rain pelting his face, he grinned broadly and with unmistakable sincerity said, “Sure beats shopping!”

Just relax…

Image result for weird pictures about life

Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.

Since it’s the early worm that gets eaten by the bird,sleep late.

The second mouse gets the cheese.

When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.

Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.

We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull.
Some have weird names and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.

 A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on detour.

Have an awesome day and know that someone has thought about you today.

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY

Save the earth….. It’s the only planet with chocolate!
Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says~~

 “Oh Crap, She’s up!”

Can you hear me now?

 Image result for redneck leeroy
In a Detroit church one Sunday morning, a preacher said, “Anyone with ‘special needs’ who wants to be prayed over, please come forward to the front by the altar.”

With that, Leroy got in line, and when it was his turn, the Preacher asked, “Leroy, what do you want me to pray about for you?”


Leroy replied, “Preacher, I need you to pray for help with my hearing.”
The preacher put one finger of one hand in Leroy’s ear, placed his other hand on top of Leroy’s head, and then prayed and prayed and prayed. He prayed a “blue streak” for Leroy, and the whole congregation joined in with great enthusiasm.
After a few minutes, the preacher removed his hands, stood back and asked, “Leroy,
how is your hearing now?”


Leroy answered, “I don’t know. It ain’t ’til Thursday.”

Nice Deal

Image result for pic of new cadillac cartoon

A woman offers a brand-new car for sale for a price of ten dollars.

A man answers the ad, but he’s slightly disbelieving. “What’s the catch?” he inquires.

“No catch,” the woman answers. “My husband died, and in his will he asked that the car be sold and the money go to his secretary.”