Archive | January 2018

Headlines of the year 2060

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California .
White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia’s third language.
Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.
Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica . No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!
Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2064.


 Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.


85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs


Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba.


Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they can now photograph a female Democrat  with her mouth shut.
Abortion clinics now available in every High School in United States .
Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
Ruth Bader Ginsgurg dies at age 127 after voting that punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

A Couple Finally Had Sexual Harmony..
They Had simultaneous Headaches.


Average height of NBA players is now nine feet seven inches with
Only 3 illegitimate children.
New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2061.
IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.



The Editor:  What is a good idea. LL ?

Cough, Cough Cat:  Volkswagen tested the emissions of one of its cars by letting it run in a closed room with ten ( 10 ) monkeys.

The misguided part was that they should have used politicians as the test subjects.  The Sphinx has long advocated that Roundup and other chemicals should be tested on their employees, FDA employees, and EPA employees for five ( 5 ) years before being certified as safe.   Speaking of safe, Paris will have fewer rats in a day or so.

This fish could crawl to a cleaner city,  probably the nearest one would be in Switzerland.

Here is a good idea that didn’t work out.



Don’t forget the moon.


The Editor:  Is February special, LL ?

Red Georgia Clay Cat:   It sure is, the whole month is Black History Month.

The whole month is full of special days.

Mardi Gras and Margarita day are Amigo’s favorite.  This is the slogan of Mardi Gras.  The beads seem to be unimportant.  Here is Al Franken throwing beads last year.

Here is a decent Margarita.

This is Cumberland’s Founder Day Song.


The Editor:   What is the story of Ice Sculptures and Sand Castles, LL ?

Temporary Cat:  It is unbelievable that people make such pretty things to be melted or washed away.

My favorite, most recent, sand sculpture was of Chris Christie.  New Jersey barely had enough sand.

Michigan State University has a big scandal.

Congress is more crooked than MSU.



Good luck Elton John.


The Editor:  Would you go into space, LL ?

Space Cat:  I sure would, it would get me away from people.   Here are some space happenings.

Here are some miscellaneous items.



The Editor:  Do you still dislike water, LL ?

Maytag Cat:   I sure do, but I had rather do a heavy duty cycle in a Maytag, that look at a Progressive DemocRAT.

Here is a city in trouble.  Maybe they should check out desalinization.

This invention might help in filtering out Roundup from water.

Here is a business using the citizens’ water until it runs dry and the citizens are left high and dry.

Remember, give a hoot and don’t pollute.

Oh, I almost forgot enjoy the lakes, rivers, etc. but remember ” man is your worst enemy “.

Whoops! The 10 Greatest (Accidental) Inventions of All Time

“Everything comes to him who hustles while he waits,” Thomas Edison once said. But is hustling all it takes? Is progress always deliberate? Sometimes genius arrives not by choice—but by chance. Below are our ten favorite serendipitous innovations.

1. The Microwave – Percy L. Spencer

Percy Spencer, an engineer at Raytheon after his WWI stint in the Navy, was known as an electronics genius. In 1945, Spencer was fiddling with a microwave-emitting magnetron—used in the guts of radar arrays—when he felt a strange sensation in his pants. A sizzling, even. Spencer paused and found that a chocolate bar in his pocket had started to melt. Figuring that the microwave radiation of the magnetron was to blame (or to credit, as it would turn out), Spencer immediately set out to realize the culinary potential at work. The end result was the microwave oven—savior of eager snackers and single dudes worldwide.

2. Saccharin – Ira Remsen, Constantin Fahlberg

In 1879, Ira Remsen and Constantin Fahlberg, at work in a laboratory at Johns Hopkins University, paused to eat. Fahlberg had neglected to wash his hands before the meal—which usually leads to a quick death for most chemists, but led to him noticing an oddly sweet flavor during his meal. Artificial sweetener! The duo published their findings together, but it was only Fahlberg’s name that made it onto the (incredibly lucrative) patent, now found in pink packets at tables everywhere. That is to say, Remsen got screwed—he later remarked, “Fahlberg is a scoundrel. It nauseates me to hear my name mentioned in the same breath with him.”

3. Slinky – Richard James

In 1943, Navy engineer Richard James was trying to figure out how to use springs to keep the sensitive instruments aboard ships from rocking themselves to death, when he knocked one of his prototypes over. Instead of crashing to the floor, it gracefully sprang downward, and then righted itself. So pointless—so nimble—so slinky. The spring became a goofy toy of many childhoods—that is before every kid inevitably gets theirs all twisted up and ruins it. 300 million sold worldwide!

4. Play-Doh – Kutol Products

Before being found ground into the rugs of child-rearing homes everywhere, Play-Doh was ironically created to be a cleaning product. The paste was first marketed as a treatment for filthy wallpaper—before the company that produced it began to go down the tubes. The discovery that saved Kutol Products—headed for bankruptcy—wasn’t that their wall cleaner worked particularly well, but that schoolchildren were beginning to use it to create Christmas ornaments as arts and crafts projects. By removing the compound’s cleanser and adding colors and a fresh scent, Kutol spun their wallpaper saver into one of the most iconic toys of all time—and brought mega-success to a company headed for destruction. Sometimes, you don’t even know how brilliant you are until someone notices for you.

5. Super Glue – Harry Coover

In what have been a very messy moment of discovery in 1942, Dr. Harry Coover of Eastman-Kodak Laboratories found that a substance he created—cyanoacrylate—was a miserable failure. It was not, to his dismay, at all suited for a new precision gun sight as he had hoped—it infuriatingly stuck to everything it touched. So it was forgotten. Six years later, while overseeing an experimental new design for airplane canopies, Coover found himself stuck in the same gooey mess with a familiar foe—cyanacrylate was proving useless as ever. But this time, Coover observed that the stuff formed an incredibly strong bond without needing heat. Coover and his team tinkered with sticking various objects in their lab together, and realized they had finally stumbled upon a use for the maddening goop. Coover slapped a patent on his discovery, and in 1958, a full 16 years after he first got stuck, cyanoacrylate was being sold on shelves.

6. Teflon – Roy Plunkett

The next time you make a frustration-free omelette, thank chemist Roy Plunkett, who experienced immense frustration while inadvertently inventing Teflon in 1938. Plunkett had hoped to create a new variety of chlorofluorocarbons (better known as universally-despised CFCs), when he came back to check on his experiment in a refrigeration chamber. When he inspected a canister that was supposed to be full of gas, he found that it appeared to have vanished—leaving behind only a few white flakes. Plunkett was intrigued by these mysterious chemical bits, and began at once to experiment with their properties. The new substance proved to be a fantastic lubricant with an extremely high melting point—perfect at first for military gear, and now the stuff found finely applied across your non-stick cookware.

7. Bakelite – Leo Baekeland

In 1907, shellac was commonly used to insulate the innards of early electronics—think radios and telephones. This was fine, aside from the fact that shellac is made from Asian beetle poop, and not exactly the cheapest or easiest way to insulate a wire. What Belgian chemist Leo Baekeland found in instead was—get ready—polyoxybenzylmethylenglycolanhydride, the world’s first synthetic plastic, commonly known as Bakelite. This pioneering plastic was moldable into virtually any shape, in any color, and could hold its form against high temperatures and daily wear—making it a star among manufacturers, jewelers, and industrial designers.

8. Pacemaker – Wilson Greatbatch

An assistant professor at the University of Buffalo thought he had ruined his project. Instead of picking a 10,000-ohm resistor out of a box to use on a heart-recording prototype, Wilson Greatbatch took the 1-megaohm variety. The resulting circuit produced a signal that sounded for 1.8 milliseconds, and then paused for a second—a dead ringer for the human heart. Greatbatch realized the precise current could regulate a pulse, overriding the imperfect heartbeat of the ill. Before this point, pacemakers were television-sized, cumbersome things that were temporarily attached to patients from the outside. But now the effect could be achieved with a small circuit, perfect to tuck into someone’s chest.

9. Velcro – George de Mestral

A dog invented velcro.

Alright, that’s something of an exaggeration, but a dog did play an instrumental role. Swiss engineer George de Mestral was out for a hunting trip with his pooch, and noticed the annoying tendency of burrs to stick to its fur (and his socks). Later, looking under a microscope, Mestral observed the tiny “hooks” that stuck burrs to fabrics and furs. Mestral experimented for years with a variety of textiles before arriving at the newly invented nylon—though it wasn’t until two decades later that NASA’s fondness for velcro popularized the tech.

10. X-Rays – Wilhelm Roentgen

Okay, yes, x-rays are a phenomenon of the natural world, and thus can’t be created. But sshhh! The story of their discovery is a fascinating one of incredible chance. In 1895, German physicist Wilhelm Roentgen was performing a routine experiment involving cathode rays, when he noticed that a piece of fluorescent cardboard was lighting up from across the room. A thick screen had been placed between his cathode emitter and the radiated cardboard, proving that particles of light were passing through solid objects. Amazed, Roentgen quickly found that brilliant images could be produced with this incredible radiation—the first of their kind being a skeletal image of his wife’s hand.



Here is the real reason Hawaii’s Nuclear Alert took thirty-eight minutes to recall.  At first they said it had to be done manually.


The Editor:  Do cats use money, LL ?

Hobo Cat:   I don’t.   If I did I would check with Clark Howard on any large expenditure.

Here are two free places to do your federal and state taxes.

We don’t advise payday loans or car title loans, ( their interest can be 700 percent ), but if you are really in an emergency check out this company.

The Golden State is turning green.

Here is money coming back to America.



Best of luck to Neil Diamond.


The Editor:   How is our political scene shaping up, LL ?

Muckraker Cat:  Here are the winners so far.  The first three include a Native American,  Hispanic,  and White Devil.

This is a corrupt agency.

Ole Conan, such a liar.