Archive | January 2018

Headlines of the year 2060

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California .
White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia’s third language.
Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.
Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica . No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!
Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2064.


 Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.


85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs


Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba.


Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they can now photograph a female Democrat  with her mouth shut.
Abortion clinics now available in every High School in United States .
Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
Ruth Bader Ginsgurg dies at age 127 after voting that punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

A Couple Finally Had Sexual Harmony..
They Had simultaneous Headaches.


Average height of NBA players is now nine feet seven inches with
Only 3 illegitimate children.
New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2061.
IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.



The Editor:  What is a good idea. LL ?

Cough, Cough Cat:  Volkswagen tested the emissions of one of its cars by letting it run in a closed room with ten ( 10 ) monkeys.

The misguided part was that they should have used politicians as the test subjects.  The Sphinx has long advocated that Roundup and other chemicals should be tested on their employees, FDA employees, and EPA employees for five ( 5 ) years before being certified as safe.   Speaking of safe, Paris will have fewer rats in a day or so.

This fish could crawl to a cleaner city,  probably the nearest one would be in Switzerland.

Here is a good idea that didn’t work out.



Don’t forget the moon.


The Editor:  Is February special, LL ?

Red Georgia Clay Cat:   It sure is, the whole month is Black History Month.

The whole month is full of special days.

Mardi Gras and Margarita day are Amigo’s favorite.  This is the slogan of Mardi Gras.  The beads seem to be unimportant.  Here is Al Franken throwing beads last year.

Here is a decent Margarita.

This is Cumberland’s Founder Day Song.


The Editor:   What is the story of Ice Sculptures and Sand Castles, LL ?

Temporary Cat:  It is unbelievable that people make such pretty things to be melted or washed away.

My favorite, most recent, sand sculpture was of Chris Christie.  New Jersey barely had enough sand.

Michigan State University has a big scandal.

Congress is more crooked than MSU.



Good luck Elton John.


The Editor:  Would you go into space, LL ?

Space Cat:  I sure would, it would get me away from people.   Here are some space happenings.

Here are some miscellaneous items.



The Editor:  Do you still dislike water, LL ?

Maytag Cat:   I sure do, but I had rather do a heavy duty cycle in a Maytag, that look at a Progressive DemocRAT.

Here is a city in trouble.  Maybe they should check out desalinization.

This invention might help in filtering out Roundup from water.

Here is a business using the citizens’ water until it runs dry and the citizens are left high and dry.

Remember, give a hoot and don’t pollute.

Oh, I almost forgot enjoy the lakes, rivers, etc. but remember ” man is your worst enemy “.



Here is the real reason Hawaii’s Nuclear Alert took thirty-eight minutes to recall.  At first they said it had to be done manually.


The Editor:  Do cats use money, LL ?

Hobo Cat:   I don’t.   If I did I would check with Clark Howard on any large expenditure.

Here are two free places to do your federal and state taxes.

We don’t advise payday loans or car title loans, ( their interest can be 700 percent ), but if you are really in an emergency check out this company.

The Golden State is turning green.

Here is money coming back to America.



Best of luck to Neil Diamond.


The Editor:   How is our political scene shaping up, LL ?

Muckraker Cat:  Here are the winners so far.  The first three include a Native American,  Hispanic,  and White Devil.

This is a corrupt agency.

Ole Conan, such a liar.

Who’s next in line?

Image result for pic of trey gowdy

Trey Gowdy just said a few things about the military in response to a stupid question from a CNN reporter about the ban of transgenders. He nails it:

Nobody has a “right” to serve in the Military. Nobody. What makes people think the Military is an equal opportunity employer? Very far from it. 

The Military uses prejudice regularly and consistently to deny citizens from joining for being too old or too young, too fat or too skinny, too tall or too short. Citizens are denied for having flat feet, or for missing or additional fingers. Poor eyesight will disqualify you, as well as bad teeth. Malnourished? Drug addiction? Bad back? Criminal history? Low IQ? Anxiety? Phobias? Hearing damage? Six arms? Hear voices in your head? Self-identify as a Unicorn? Need a special access ramp for your wheelchair? Can’t run the required course in the required time? Can’t do the required number of pushups? Not really a “morning person” and refuse to get out of bed before noon? All can be reasons for denial. 

The Military has one job. War. Anything else is a distraction and a liability. Did someone just scream “That isn’t Fair”? War is VERY unfair, there are no exceptions made for being special or challenged or socially wonderful. YOU change yourself to meet Military standards.. Not the other way around. I say again: You don’t change the Military… you must change yourself. The Military doesn’t need to accommodate anyone with special issues. The Military needs to Win Wars. 

If any of your personal issues are a liability that detract from readiness or lethality… Thank you for applying and good luck in future endeavors. Who’s next in line?



The Editor:  What has improved, LL ?

Progress Cat:  The first is Delta.

Coke might be improving.

Here are some other things.

Atlanta needs to jump on this problem.

An Indian M.D. has started to race sperm.