Archive | February 9, 2018

Golf and related terms

Golf…

[1] a game that consists of a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic.
[2] a game of opposites – the world’s slowest people are ahead of you, and the fastest are behind.
[3] a colorful sport that keeps you on the green, in the pink, and financially in the red.
[4] a game which is allowed to be played on Sunday (under blue laws) because it was not considered a game by the law, but a form of moral effort.
[5] a game a lot like taxation – you drive hard to get to the green, and then you find yourself in a hole.

GOLF CART…

[1] A popular mode of transportation because, unlike a caddie, it can neither count, criticize, nor snicker.

GOLFER….

[1] a person who yells “fore,” takes six, and puts down five;
[2] a guy who has the advantage over a fisherman – he doesn’t have to bring home anything when he brags he had a great day

 

Yard Sale Anger

A lady was taking her time browsing through everything at a yard sale and said to the homeowner, “My husband is going to be very angry when he finds out I stopped at a yard sale.”

“I’m sure he’ll understand when you tell him about all the bargains,” the homeowner replied.

“Normally, yes,” the lady said. “But he just broke his leg, and he’s waiting for me to take him to the hospital to have it set.”

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THE SPHINX—–TRAINS

The  Editor:   What is going on with the trains, LL ?

Toot, Toot, Cat:  Things are really bizarre.  This one involved a stupid truck driver.  Witnesses say the truck driver tried to snake his way through a lowered crossing guard.

https://www.cnn.com/2018/02/01/politics/republican-train-crash-investigation/index.html

The South Carolina crash is a puzzle.  The freight train was pulled over on a side track and stopped.  The signal that directed the moving train was padlocked to direct traffic to the side track.   Oops it looks like human error or a terrorist attack.

https://www.npr.org/2018/02/05/583455540/ntsb-looks-at-disabled-signals-locked-switch-in-latest-deadly-amtrak-crash

Here is an old case that has been revived.

https://www.upi.com/Top_News/US/2018/02/07/Amtrak-engineer-again-faces-charges-in-2015-crash-that-killed-8/6211518018834/?utm_source=sec&utm_campaign=sl&utm_medium=10

This Amtrak train had the section where the cars join fall off.

https://nypost.com/2018/02/06/amtrak-train-breaks-apart-at-125-mph/

http://abcnews.go.com/US/amtrak-cars-separate-boston-bound-acela-train/story?id=52881264

With all the stuff going on this is my train of choice.