Archive | March 2018

Horses Asses

( I could have titled this Horses Patoots or Horses Buttocks…..but you would not have clicked on it….so just enjoy!)

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A farmer got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding, and the trooper started to lecture the farmer about his speed, and in general began to throw his weight around to try to make the farmer uncomfortable.

Finally, the trooper got around to writing out the ticket, and as he was doing that he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head.

The farmer said, “Having some problems with circle flies there, are ya?”

The trooper stopped writing the ticket and said: “Well yeah, if that’s what they are — I never heard of circle flies.”

So the farmer says, “Well, circle flies are common on farms. See, they’re called circle flies because they’re almost always found circling around the back end of a horse.”

The trooper says, “Oh,” and goes back to writing the ticket. Then after a minute he stops and says, “Hey … wait a minute, are you trying to call me a horse’s ass?”

The farmer says, “Oh no, officer. I have too much respect for law enforcement and police officers to even think about calling you a horse’s ass.”

The trooper says, “Well, that’s a good thing,” and goes back to writing the ticket.

After a long pause, the farmer says,

“Hard to fool them circle flies though.”

Press Secretary, Sarah Sanders

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  I think the Press Secretary, Sarah Sanders, is one of the brightest people in the current administration. She also has a quick wit about her and if you doubt it then read below.  It’s got to be the answer of the year.
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During a recent press conference, a reporter with MSNBC hollered from the press corps, “Where is President Trump hiding his tax returns?”
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Press Secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, astutely responded, “We’ve found a very secure place and I’m certain they won’t be found.”
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“And just where is that?”, said the reporter, sarcastically.
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Mrs. Sanders grinned sardonically and said, “They are underneath Obama’s college records, his passport application, his immigration status as a student, his funding sources to pay for college, his college records, and his Selective Service registration.”
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“Next question?”
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Or maybe he hid them in “The Bottom of the Barrell” where obama found clinton and kerry.

-Sheila Tolley-

John Kerry scaping the bottom of the barrel

THE SPHINX—–NOT SURPRISED

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http://earthsky.org/?p=273806

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The Editor:   What is new, LL ?

Muckraker Cat:  News is popping up like spring flowers.  The Orlando Pulse nightclub’s mass murderer’s father was an FBI informant.

https://www.clickorlando.com/news/noor-salman-trial/motion-reveals-pulse-gunmans-father-was-fbi-informant

Since the parents won’t hold themselves responsible for poor school security, maybe this will help.

http://wnep.com/2018/03/22/superintendent-says-students-are-armed-with-rocks-in-case-of-a-school-shooting/

Let the taxpayers pay for teachers homes.

http://www.miamiherald.com/news/local/community/miami-dade/article206839799.html

There is nothing like letting a foreign company manage America’s National Data Base.

http://freebeacon.com/national-security/overhaul-u-s-telecoms-database-sparks-fear-catastrophic-failure/

Here is a design flaw.

https://www.upi.com/Top_News/US/2018/03/26/Helicopter-pilot-Seatbelt-strap-under-fuel-lever-at-time-of-crash/3521522096871/?utm_source=sec&utm_campaign=sl&utm_medium=16

Here is a new stamp.

https://www.upi.com/Top_News/US/2018/03/23/US-Postal-Service-unveils-commemorative-Mr-Rogers-stamp/2741521825868/?utm_source=sec&utm_campaign=sl&utm_medium=4

 

Need Help?

I was just coming home and worrying about all the stuff going on in my life, my family’s lives, my friends’ lives, and what’s happening in Washington, Moscow, North Korea, the Middle East, Hillary Clinton’s scandals, Donald Trump, Fox News, CNN, MSNBC, the downgrading of our military, the terrorists infiltrating our borders, the illegals, refugees, the total disrespect for law & order, and how our country is rapidly losing it’s sanity and it’s Christianity.

 Then I saw a yard sign that said:

         NEED HELP?

         CALL JESUS

        800-555-3787

 Out of curiosity and desperation, I called the number. 

 A Mexican with a leaf blower showed up.

 

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