France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by
prostitutes’

 Mark Twain

 —————————–

‘I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one
behind me.’

General George S. Patton
——————————
‘Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your
accordion.’

Norman Schwartzkopf
——————————
‘We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it.’

Marge Simpson
——————————
‘As far as I’m concerned, war always means failure.’

Jacques Chirac, President of France
——————————
‘The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is
sitting in  Paris  sipping coffee.’

Regis Philbin
——————————

‘The last time the French asked for ‘more proof’ it came marching into
Paris under a German flag.’

David Letterman
——————————
‘Only thing worse than a Frenchman is a Frenchman who lives in
Canada.’

Ted Nugent
——————————
‘War without France would be like  … World War II.’

Unknown
——————————
‘The favourite bumper sticker in Washington D.C. right now is one that
says ‘First Iraq, then France.”

Tom Brokaw
——————————
‘What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its
national will fighting against Disney World and Big Macs than the
Nazis?’

Dennis Miller
——————————
‘It is important to remember that the French have always been there when
they needed us.’

Alan Kent
—————————–
‘They’ve taken their own precautions against al-Qa’ida.    To prepare
for an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag,
and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house.’

Argus Hamilton
——————————
‘Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle that was being
advertised on eBay the other day –the description was, ‘Never shot.
Dropped once.”

Rep. Roy Blunt, MO
—————————–
‘The French will only agree to go to war when we’ve proven we’ve found
truffles in Iraq’

Dennis Miller
——————————
Q. What did the mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered
the city in WWII?

A. Table for 100,000 m’sieur?
—————————–
‘Do you know how many Frenchmen it takes to defend Paris?   It’s not
known, it’s never been tried.’

Rep. R. Blount, MO
——————————
‘Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in WWII?
And that’s because it was raining.’

John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv
——————————
French Ban Fireworks at Euro Disney

 

The French Government announced today that it is imposing a ban on the
use of fireworks at Euro Disney. The decision comes the day after a
nightly fireworks display at the park, located just 30 miles outside of
Paris, caused the soldiers at a nearby French Army garrison to surrender
to a group of Czech tourists.

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