I thank all my friends, acquaintances and constituents who have sent me birthday greetings today. You will be proud to know that I have designed a plan that is almost as good as the Fountain of Youth. Yes Sir…Unlike Congress…I make things happen.
Starting this year, instead of adding a year, I am using a new method of counting my birthdays. I call it my Reverse Dog Year Birthday System..or RDYBS…..that sounds politically correct, doesn’t it? It is simple to use, instead of adding a year, each birthday….I will subtract 7 years. So, instead of turning 67 today, I am 60. Hold on…. it gets better. That means, in 2025, I will be 18 again…I will be a Senior at Pike County High School.. Sounds like a plan, huh?
When I select which Old Folks Home to join, I will paint my wheel chair with Groovy Hippie Colors and ride around smoking pot and yelling…”Make Love not War.” Will you come and visit me at the home? Let me know a few days ahead of time because I may need to steal extra drugs from the old people so we can “Party like it’s 1999″….. “again.”
I will see you there….just Roll On In….I will be easy to identify, trust me on that!!