Archive | April 9, 2018

It was a special cat…

Image result for cartoon pictures of special cats

Marvin was totally obsessed with his cat. His job demanded that he go out of town for a while. The only person that he trusted to possibly care for his cat was his brother. He took the cat over and gave his brother the food, treats, shampoo, conditioner and fancy litter box.  He cried as he told his cat goodbye.

Marvin called his brother after two days to check on his cat. His brother said, “Your cat died.”

Marvin went crazy. “You are a cold, rude person. You should not tell a person bad news in such a callous manner. You should have said something like…the cat is on the roof and we can’t get it down.  By the way how is Mother doing?” His brother replied,

“Mother is on the roof and we can’t get her down.”

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THE SPHINX—–MISCELLANEOUS

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https://townhall.com/tipsheet/timothymeads/2018/04/07/untitled-n2468784

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The Editor:   Is anything important going on, LL ?

Is It Live Or Is It Memorex Cat:   Not much is reported by the MSM.   The constant sixteen months ( 16 ) of repetitious lies of the MSM has started to turn many people to like Trump.   They are tired of the hate, venom, lies, distortions, and sleazy accusations.    You can turn the news on and it is the same as a year ago.

Guess who pays 87 % of income the tax in America ?

https://www.wsj.com/articles/top-20-of-americans-will-pay-87-of-income-tax-1523007001

Privacy is making a come back.

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/03/10/business/office-privacy-phone-booth.html

Boeing makes America great again.

https://www.upi.com/Top_News/US/2018/04/07/Boeing-lands-deal-with-American-Airlines-in-blow-to-rival-Airbus/4351523105731/?utm_source=sec&utm_campaign=sl&utm_medium=5

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Murphy’s Other Laws

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1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

3. He, who laughs last, thinks slowest.

4. A day without sunshine is like, well . Night.

5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

6. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.

7. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

8. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.

9. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them.

10. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

11. The things that come to those that wait, may be the things left by those, who got there first.

12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

13. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.

14. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of twelve people, who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.

15. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in the dark.

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Happy and Sad at the same Time…

Image result for happy and sad at the same time

A husband and wife were sitting watching a TV program about psychology which was explaining the phenomenon of “mixed emotions”. The husband turned to his wife and said, “That is an absolute bunch of crap. I bet you can’t tell me anything that will make me happy and sad at the same time.” She said: “Out of all your friends, you are the best lover!”

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I no come work today….

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Hung Chow calls into work and says, ‘Hey, I no come work today, I really sick. Got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come work.’

The boss says, ‘You know something, Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel sick like you do, I go to my wife and suggest sex. That Makes everything better and I go to work… You try that.’

Two hours later Hung Chow calls again.

‘I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon……….You got nice house’

Where is God?

Image result for pic of 2 mischievous boys

A couple had two little mischievous boys, ages 8 and 10. They were always getting into trouble, and their parents knew that if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons would get the blame.

The boys’ mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed and asked to see them individually.

So, the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon.

The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, “Where is God?”

The boy’s mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open.

The clergyman repeated the question. “Where is God?”

Again, the boy made no attempt to answer.

So, the clergyman raised his voice some more and shook his finger in the boy’s face and bellowed, “Where is God!?”

The boy screamed and bolted from the room. He ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.

When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, “What happened?”

The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied: “We are in real BIG trouble this time! God is missing, and they think we did it!”