Archive | April 11, 2018

THE SPHINX—-THE QUEEN AND OTHER THINGS

The Editor:  Is this about Prince Harry’s wedding in May, LL ?

Dry Martini Cat:  No, it’s about the Queen sitting around all day drinking her age in Martinis, wine, cognac, and anything else she can get.  The Prime Minister, Teresa May, also knocks down a few.

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/russia-claims-queen-downs-cocktails-12324595

Millennials are trying to make up their minds about things.

https://www.upi.com/Top_News/Voices/2018/04/04/Todays-youth-reject-capitalism-what-they-really-want-is-fairness/5491522845165/?utm_source=sec&utm_campaign=sl&utm_medium=4

http://pittsburgh.cbslocal.com/2018/04/05/millennials-flat-earth-survey/

https://www.coasttocoastam.com/article/flat-earth-survey-produces-surprising-results/

If opiods don’t kill you synthetic marijuana will.

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/synthetic-weed-rat-poison-chemical-deaths-tied-to-excessive-bleeding/

https://gizmodo.com/the-outbreak-of-severe-bleeding-caused-by-synthetic-wee-1825046064

A German newspaper declares Trump as the world’s best climate protector.

http://www.breitbart.com/big-government/2018/04/07/germanys-die-welt-proclaims-trump-successful-climate-protector-world/

TOO DAMN FUNNY!!!!

No matter what side of the AISLE you’re on, THIS is ……FUNNY!
Judy Wallman, a professional genealogy researcher in southern California , was doing some personal work on her own family tree. She discovered that Senator Harry Reid’s great-great uncle, Remus Reid, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Montana in 1889. Both Judy and Harry Reid share this common ancestor.

The only known photograph of Remus shows him standing on the gallows in Montana territory:

On the back of the picture Judy obtained during her research is this inscription: ‘Remus Reid, horse thief, sent to Montana Territorial Prison 1885, escaped 1887, robbed the Montana Flyer six times. Caught by Pinkerton detectives, convicted and hanged in 1889.’

Image result for pic of remus reid horse thief

So Judy e-mailed  Senator Harry Reid for information about their great-great uncle.

Harry Reid:

Believe it or not, Harry Reid’s staff sent back the following biographical sketch for her genealogy research:

Remus Reid was a famous cowboy in the Montana Territory . His business empire grew to include acquisition of valuable equestrian assets and intimate dealings with the Montana railroad. Beginning in 1883, he devoted several years of his life to government service, finally taking leave to resume his dealings with the railroad. In 1887, he was a key player in a vital investigation run by the renowned Pinkerton Detective Agency. In 1889, Remus passed away during an important civic function held in his honor when the platform upon which he was standing collapsed.”

NOW THAT’s how it’s done, Folks! That’s real POLITICAL SPIN !!!

Ex Wife

Image result for pic of man and wife fussing
 >
Tim decided to tie the knot with his long time girlfriend.
One evening, after the honeymoon,
he was assembling some loads for an upcoming hunt..
 >
His wife was standing there at the bench watching him. After along period of silence she finally speaks.
 >
Honey, I’ve been thinking, now that we are married I think it’s time you quit hunting, shooting,  fishing and flying.
Maybe you should sell your guns, boat & airplane.
 >
Tim gets this horrified look on his face.
 >
She says, “Darling, what’s wrong?”
 >
”There for a minute you were sounding like my ex-wife.”
 >
“Ex wife!”, she screams, “I didn’t know you were married before!”
 >
”I wasn’t “
*
*

Some of Oscar Wilde’s many Quips

There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written or badly written.

But what is the difference between literature and journalism?
Journalism is unreadable and literature is not read.  That is all.

America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between.

A pompous speaker who had a great opinion of himself gave a long after-dinner speech.  He then made the mistake of turning to his neighbour on the top table, who happened to be Oscar Wilde, and asked, ‘How would you have delivered that speech? ‘Under an assumed name’, came the reply from Oscar Wilde.

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating: people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing.

To lose one parent, Mr Worthing, may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

An idea that is not dangerous is unworthy of being called an idea at all.

Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.

The basis of optimism is sheer terror.

Genius is born – not paid.

If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they’ll kill you.

‘One can always be kind to people about whom one cares nothing.’

The only thing that sustains one through life is the consciousness of the immense inferiority of everybody else and this is a feeling that I have always cultivated.

To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable.

Disobedience, in the eyes of anyone who has read history, is man’s original virtue. It is through disobedience and rebellion that progress has been made.

I was working on the proof of one of my poems all the morning, and took out a comma. In the afternoon I put it back again.

There is no sin except stupidity.

The sensuous wife

 Image result for pic of crumpled up money

“Have you ever seen a twenty dollar bill all crumpled up?” asked the wife.

“No,” said her husband.

She gave him a sexy little smile, slowly reached into her cleavage and
pulled out a crumpled twenty dollar bill.

“Have you ever seen a fifty all crumpled up?” she asked.

“Uh, no,” he said.

She gave him another sexy little smile, seductively reached into her panties
and pulled out a crumpled fifty dollar bill.

“Now,” she said, “Have you ever seen 40,000 dollars all crumpled up?”

“No,” he said, now really intrigued.

“Well go look in the garage…”

*

*

Read it…..then pass it on to your Son

Image result for pic of rudyard kipling

If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:.

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build’em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:

If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

Rudyard Kipling
*
*