Archive | April 13, 2018

THE SPHINX—-LAND OF SUNSHINE

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https://www.history.com/topics/friday-the-13th

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The Editor:  Our readers could sure use some sunshine, LL.

Sun Cat:   Here are some stories.   The first is when you get that boat and a truck to pull it, be careful.

https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2018/04/09/Truck-ends-up-submerged-after-boat-launching-fail/8171523300423/?utm_source=sec&utm_campaign=sl&utm_medium=3

Seattle and The City of Angels still have a homeless problem.

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2018/04/09/homeless-residents-brag-about-makeshift-mansion-near-seattles-famed-space-needle.html

http://www.latimes.com/local/lanow/la-me-ln-homeless-tiny-house-20180411-story.html

The drug gangs have reached Cancun.

http://www.breitbart.com/texas/2018/04/10/cancun-9-murdered-24-hours/

Here is our richest zip code, and a skyport.

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2018-04-10/to-visit-america-s-richest-zip-code-first-you-ll-need-a-boat

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-5599429/The-luxury-high-rise-development-Miami-adapted-FLYING-CARS.html

Here are some beautiful spots ruined by poor management, sort of like America.

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/lists/beautiful-islands-ruined-by-tourism/

Reasonable Doubt

Scene: A courtroom in Oklahoma where a person is on trial for murder.

There is strong evidence indicating guilt; however, there is no corpse.

In the defense’s closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client is guilty and that it looks like he’ll probably be convicted, resorts to a clever trick.

“Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all,” the lawyer says as he looks at his watch.

“Within 1 minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this courtroom,” he says and he looks toward the courtroom door.

The jury, somewhat stunned, all look on eagerly. A minute passes. Nothing happens.

Finally, the lawyer says: ‘Actually, I made up the previous statement. But you all looked on with anticipation. I, therefore, put it to you that there is reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed and insist that you return a verdict of not guilty.”

The jury, clearly confused, retires to deliberate. A very few minutes later, the jury returns and a representative pronounces a verdict of guilty.

“But how?” inquires the lawyer. “You must have had some doubt; I saw all of you stare at the door.”

Answers the representative: “Oh, we did look. But your client didn’t.”

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Bear on the roof……

 Image result for picture of a bear on the roof

A man wakes up one morning in Alaska to find a bear on his roof.

 He looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there’s an ad for “Bear Removers.”

 He calls the number and the bear remover says he’ll be over in 30 minutes.

 The bear remover arrives and gets out of his van. He’s got a ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit bull.

 “What are you going to do,” the homeowner asks?

 “I’m going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I’m going to go up there and knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat.

When the bear falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles and not let go. 

The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van.”

 He hands the shotgun to the homeowner.

 “What’s the shotgun for?” asks the homeowner.

 “If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog.”

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