Archive | May 4, 2018

THE SPHINX—NEWS BRIEFS

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I was told, and listened, a long time ago that you should not wear jewelry if you are doing physical/athletic activities.  It is dangerous.

http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/baseball/mets/yoenis-cespedes-necklace-breaks-double-mets-braves-article-1.3968503

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The Editor:  Did a newspaper really print a front page without smearing Trump, LL ?

Windy City Cat:   The Chicago Sun Times did, they left it blank.   At least they didn’t have to print the murders.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DbcU2KUXUAAKSOS.jpg

Kroger has a ground beef recall.

https://www.upi.com/Top_News/US/2018/05/03/Kroger-supplier-recalls-more-than-35000-pounds-of-beef/3621525372931/?utm_source=sec&utm_campaign=sl&utm_medium=3

Here is some information that we already  reported.  

https://www.upi.com/Health_News/2018/04/23/Artificial-sweeteners-linked-to-obesity-diabetes-in-study/6801524485145/?utm_source=fp&utm_campaign=ls&utm_medium=5

The Cub Scouts will get interesting.

https://www.yahoo.com/news/beyond-cookies-thousands-girls-becoming-cub-scouts-022746762.html

The Breast Galaxies are colliding.

https://www.upi.com/Science_News/2018/04/23/Colorful-spiral-galaxies-collide-in-new-Hubble-video/4671524493456/?utm_source=fp&utm_campaign=ls&utm_medium=3

English teachers are giving up on education.

Schools are removing analogue clocks from exam halls as teenagers ‘cannot tell the time’

DC has more free liquor than Las Vegas.

Washington’s heavy-drinking ways in spotlight | TheHill

WHAT AISLE IS THE POLISH SAUSAGE IN?

Image result for cartoon of polish sausage

 
 
Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream ‘prejudice’ these
days…………….
 
A customer asked, “In what aisle can I find the Polish sausage?”
 
The clerk asks, “Are you Polish?”
 
The guy, clearly offended, says, “Yes I am. But let me ask you
something.
 
If I had asked for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian?
 
Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was
German?
 
Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish?
 
Or if I had asked for a Taco, would you ask if I was Mexican?
 
Or if I asked for some Irish whiskey, would you ask if I was Irish?”
 
The clerk says, “No, I probably wouldn’t.”
 
The guy says, “Well then, because I asked for Polish sausage, why did
you ask me if I’m Polish?”
 
The clerk replied, “Because you’re in Ace Hardware.”
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Why athletes can’t have regular jobs

Image result for athlete

1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model:
“I wan’ all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan’ all the kids to copulate me.”

2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season:
“I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first..”

3. And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the ‘Skin’s say:
“I’d run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl,”
Matt Millen of the Raiders said: “To win, I’d run over Joe’s Mom, too.”

4. Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins:
“He treat us like mens. He let us wear earrings..”

5. Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann:
“Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.”

6. Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh :
“I’m going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes..”
(Now that is beautiful)

7. Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach:
“You guys line up alphabetically by height..”
And, “You guys pair up in groups of three, and then line up in a circle.”

8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to prison:
“Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton ..”

9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker:
“That’s so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes.”

10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regimen of heavyweight Andrew Golota:
“He’s a guy who gets up at six o’clock in the morning, regardless of what time it is.”

11. Chuck Nevitt , North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice:
“My sister’s expecting a baby, and I don’t know if I’m going to be an uncle or an aunt. (I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature in January)

12. Frank Layden , Utah Jazz president, on a former player:
“I asked him, ‘Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?’
He said, ‘Coach, I don’t know and I don’t care.’”

13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F’s and one D:
“Son, looks to me like you’re spending too much time on one subject.”

14. In the words of NC State great Charles Shackelford:
“I can go to my left or right, I am amphibious.”

15. Former Houston Oilers coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips,
Phillips responded: “Because she’s too ugly to kiss good-bye.”

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Please Answer the Question

Image result for pic of upset judges

The lawyer was cross-examining a witness. “Isn’t it true,“ he began, “that you were given $5000 to throw this case?”

The witness did not answer. Instead, he just stared out the window as though he hadn’t heard the question. The attorney repeated himself, again getting the same reaction, the same no response. Finally, the judge spoke to the witness, “Please answer the question.”

“Oh,” said the startled witness, “I’m sorry your honor. I thought he was talking to you.”

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