Archive | November 2018

Dean Martin Celebrity Roast-Ronald Reagan

It is sad that politics have made our entire lives so venomous that humor no longer exists in our world.

I miss people like Dean Martin and Johnny Carson.

I have discovered through life that people who can respond with wit can roll with the punches.

-Sheila-

 

 

THE SPHINX—-NAMES

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There is no wonder that O and Hill-gal let our people die in Benghazi, they were busy shooting tear gas at our brown brothers and sisters from Central America.  Our news media didn’t mention these attacks on their poor babies and toddlers.

https://www.breitbart.com/border/2018/11/27/obama-used-tear-gas-at-least-80-times-at-border/

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The Editor:  What is going on with the great name problem, LL ?

https://hotair.com/archives/2018/11/25/professor-ohio-sues-transgender-pronoun-flap/

Ma’am Cat:  I don’t care anymore, if you can’t go by scientific proof what else is a guideline.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/XY_sex-determination_system

Here is a good name for the student mentioned above and Barbara Boxer, who didn’t want to be called Ma’am by a soldier.

Here are the last two.

Nancy needs to fish or cut bait…..

The President and Nancy Pelosi, are arguing over allowing immigrants into our country. Nancy wants free access to everyone who wants to come in, while Donald wants us to secure our borders and insure only the right type of people come in.

Instead of going to a time consuming nationwide vote, they agree to a three day ice fishing contest to settle the issue. Whoever catches the most fish at  the end of the 3 days will have his or her process implemented.

They decide that a remote frozen lake in northern Wisconsin would be the ideal place. No observers on the fishing grounds,  and both would have their catch verified and counted each night at 5 PM. They use a neutral park ranger station.

After Day 1, Trump returns to the station with a total of 10 fish, Pelosi comes back with nothing. Day 2 Trump catches 20 fish, but Pelosi comes back with nothing.

So Pelosi and her liberal cronies accuse Trump of being a “low-life, cheating piece of scum.” Instead of fishing on Day 3, they are going to follow Trump and spy on him and figure out how he is cheating. Day 3 finishes and Trump had an incredible day, adding 40 more fish to his total.

That night, Pelosi and her cohorts get together to create a fake report that  Donald was cheating.   Later Pelosi stands up to give her report and says, “You are not going to believe this. Trump is cheating because he is cutting holes in the ice.”

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And this tells you the difference between a businessman and a career government politician.

 

Image result for cartoon pelosi fishing

THE SPHINX—THE DECEASED AND THE AMATEURS

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French protesters want lower petrol prices.  If they get them they can save enough money to burn down Calais along with Paris.  Diesel is $ 6.35 a gallon.

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/7817676/police-bombarded-with-fireworks-fight-back-with-tear-gas-as-mass-riots-turn-paris-into-warzone/

https://www.globalpetrolprices.com/France/diesel_prices/

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The Editor:   What is this article about, LL ?

Tired Of  Political Crooks Cat:  I’m bored of the crooked politicians and movie/TV people with attitudes who think they are influential.  Here are some talented deceased people dancing to funk.

Here are your everyday Jan and Joe.

Those were the days.

THE SPHINX—ALLITERATION

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LATE BREAKING NEWS

https://www.upi.com/Top_News/US/2018/11/27/Cindy-Hyde-Smith-wins-runoff-for-Senate-seat-in-Mississippi/8831543316846/?ls=2

https://6abc.com/active-shooter-drill-gone-awry-sparks-panic-at-walter-reed-hospital-/4774681/

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/indonesia-says-lion-air-jet-not-airworthy-flight-crash-n941026

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The Editor:  Do you know about alliteration, LL ?

http://literary-devices.com/content/alliteration?order=title&sort=asc

Wordsmith Cat:  I sure do, it was on the test Amigo gave me to be a reporter.  Here are two examples.

https://townhall.com/tipsheet/timothymeads/2018/11/16/previously-deported-pickpocketing-peruvian-prompts-police-to-ponder-precise-position-n2536113

JOKES THAT CAN BE TOLD IN CHURCH

Image result for laugh a little

 
 
Two boys were walking home from Sunday school
After hearing a strong preaching on the devil.
One said to the other, ‘What do you think about
all this Satan stuff?’
The other boy replied, ‘Well, you know how
Santa Claus turned out
It’s probably just your Dad..’
 
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Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl
whispered to her mother, ‘Why is the bride dressed in white?”
The mother replied, ‘Because white is the color
Of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life.’
The child thought about this for a moment then said,
‘So why is the groom wearing black?’
 
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Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about
their fathers.
The first boy says, ‘My Dad scribbles a few words
On a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50.’
The second boy says, ‘That’s nothing. My Dad
scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100.’
The third boy says, ‘I got you both beat. My Dad
scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!’
 
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An elderly woman died last month.
Having never married, she requested no male
pallbearers.
In her handwritten instructions for her memorial
service, she wrote,
‘They wouldn’t take me out while I was alive,
I don’t want them to take me out when I’m dead.’
 
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A police recruit was asked during the exam,
‘What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?’
He answered, ‘Call for backup.’
 
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A Sunday School teacher asked her class why
Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem.
A small child replied, ‘They couldn’t get a babysitter.’
 
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A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to ‘Honor thy
father and thy mother,’ she asked,
‘Is there a commandment that teaches us how to
treat our brothers and sisters?’
Without missing a beat, one little boy answered,
‘Thou shall not kill.’
 
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At Sunday School they were teaching how God
created everything, including human beings.
Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they
told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam’s ribs.
Later in the week his mother noticed him lying
down as though he were ill, and she said, ‘Johnny, what is the matter?’ 
Little Johnny responded, ‘I have pain in my side. I think I’m going to have a wife.’
 
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You don’t stop laughing because you grow old..
You grow old because you stop laughing!
Take heed and pass these along to people who
need a laugh.
I thought you would enjoy this….times are tough
right now…for all of us…so we need something to make the day a happy place.
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“They” haven’t found a way to tax you for
Laughing yet!!