White, Straight, Republican, American Man…..how else can I piss you off today?

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I used to think I was just a regular person, but I was born white, which now, whether I like it or not, makes me a racist.

I am a fiscal and moral conservative, which by today‘s standards, makes me a fascist.

I am heterosexual, which now makes me a homophobe.

I am non-union, which makes me a traitor to the working class and an ally of big business.

I was christened by my parents, which now labels me as an infidel.

I am retired, which makes me useless. 

I think and I reason, therefore I doubt much that the main stream media tells me, which must make me a reactionary.

I am a conservative,which now makes me deplorable person.

I am proud of my heritage, which makes me a xenophobe.

I value my safety and that of my family and I appreciate the police and the legal system, which makes me a right-wing extremist.

I believe in hard work, fair play, and fair compensation according to each individual’s merits, which today makes me an anti-socialist.

I (and most of the folks I know), acquired a fair education without student loan debts and little or no debt, which makes me some kind of an odd underachiever.

I believe in the defense and protection of my country and I honor those who served in the Armed Forces, which now makes me a right wing-militant.

I believe in respect for human life at inception which now makes me anti-choice!

Please help me come to terms with the new me… because I’m just not sure who the hell I am anymore!

Funny …it’s all just taken place over the last 7 or 8 years!

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As if all this nonsense wasn’t enough to deal with…now I’m not even sure which toilet I should enter.

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