Two elderly, excited Southern women were sitting together in the front pew of the church listening to a fiery preacher. When this preacher condemned the sin of stealing, these two ladies cried out, “Amen, Brother!”
When the preacher condemned the sin of lust, they yelled again, “You preach it, Reverend!”
And when the preacher condemned the sin of lying, they jumped to their feet and hollered, “RIGHT ON! TELL IT LIKE IT IS! AMEN!”
But when the preacher condemned the sin of gossip, the two got very quiet. One turned to the other and said, “He’s quit preaching and now he’s just meddling.”
Two men are playing golf. One of them is about to take a swing when a funeral procession appears on the road next to the course. He stops mid-swing, takes off his cap, closes his eyes, and bows his head in contemplation.
His opponent comments: “That must be the most touching thing I’ve ever seen. You are a very feeling man.”
The man, recovering himself, replies, “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”