Archive | January 19, 2019

THE SPHINX—–WHO

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https://thecollegeinvestor.com/18920/credit-karma-tax-software-review/

https://www.accuweather.com/

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The Editor:  Who/what is this article about, LL ?

https://www.apnews.com/9bbaddf680d24b5788c5777d12096645

Who Cat:  It’s about Who.  Whose butt does this look like—any of the Kardashians.

https://www.cnn.com/travel/article/airlander-10-prototype-new-model-gbr-intl/index.html

Who’s your daddy ?

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Who ate the Sara Lee ?

https://michaelstvtray.com/2014/03/04/who-ate-the-sara-lee-march-4-is-national-pound/

Guess who is a political arm of the Progressive/Democrats ?  They censor anything they don’t approve of just like the NYT,  Washington Post,  CNN, and MSNBC.

https://www.breitbart.com/tech/2019/01/16/google-youtube-search-blacklist-smoking-gun/

Who is throwing dirty diapers from NYC public housing buildings ?  That’s worse than flying spiders.

https://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local/Dirty-Diapers-Throwing-Hurling-NYCHA-Building-New-York-City-Report-504326281.html

https://news.nationalgeographic.com/2015/08/150818-spiders-animals-science-flying-forests/

TE:   Is the Who and Guess Who the same band, WC ?

No.

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Drug Test Those Mechanics…..

After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which
conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during
the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct
the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form
what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets
before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of
humor!

Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers.

(P = the problem logged by the pilot.)
(S = the solution and action taken by the engineers.)
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P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
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P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
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P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
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P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
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P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
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P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
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P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
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P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That’s what they’re there for.
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P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
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P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you’re right.
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P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
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P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
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P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
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P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

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Flying high

Image result for pic of a backpack parachute

There were five people aboard an airplane having engine trouble getting ready to crash, however, there were only four parachutes. Everyone wondered what should be done to determine who should get the parachutes.

One person said that he was the smartest thing that hit the face of the Earth, and that he was too smart to die. So, he took one of the parachutes and jumped out of the aircraft. The second person said that she was too important to die, she had children and a family to take care of, and they depended on her to care for them. So, she took one of the parachutes and jumped out of the aircraft. The third person said that he was too important to die because his family depended on him for survival. He was the head of household and the sole bread winner. So, he took one of the parachutes and jumped out of the aircraft.

Finally, there were only two people left, and one parachute. One person was a 12 year old boy, and the other was a 65 year old man. The old man said, “Well son, I have lived a good life, and you are too young to die, you have a long life ahead of you. So, you take the last parachute. The boy asked, “Why, Sir?” The old man said, “Well, there is only one parachute left.”

The little lad said, “Sir there are really two parachutes left.” The old gentlemen asked, excitedly, “Yeah? How?” “Well,” replied the boy, “you know that guy who thought he was the smartest and greatest thing that hit the face of the Earth? He grabbed my backpack.”

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Happy and Sad at the same Time…

Image result for happy and sad at the same time

A husband and wife were sitting watching a TV program about psychology which was explaining the phenomenon of “mixed emotions”. The husband turned to his wife and said, “That is an absolute bunch of crap. I bet you can’t tell me anything that will make me happy and sad at the same time.” She said: “Out of all your friends, you are the best lover!”

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I no come work today….

Related image

Hung Chow calls into work and says, ‘Hey, I no come work today, I really sick. Got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come work.’

The boss says, ‘You know something, Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel sick like you do, I go to my wife and suggest sex. That Makes everything better and I go to work… You try that.’

Two hours later Hung Chow calls again.

‘I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon……….You got nice house’