Archive | January 22, 2019

And the blonde said…..

Image result for blonde joke

One  hot summer day, a blonde came to town with her dog, tied it under the shade of a tree, and headed into a restaurant for something cold to drink.

 

Twenty minutes later, a policeman entered the restaurant and asked, ‘Who owns the dog tied under that tree outside?’

 

The blonde said it was hers. ‘Your dog seems to be in heat’, the officer said.      

The blonde replied, ‘No way. She’s cool ’cause she’s tied up under that shade tree.’       

The policeman said, ‘No! You don’t understand. Your dog needs to be bred.’       

‘No way,’ said the blonde. ‘My dog doesn’t need bread. She isn’t hungry  cause I fed her this morning.’

       

The exasperated policeman said, ‘NO! You don’t understand. Your dog wants to have sex!’

 

The blonde looked at the cop and said, ‘Well, go ahead. I always wanted a police dog.‘

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Image result for funny looking police dog

Just for the record. I think blonde jokes are funny BUT I think Police Dogs are the coolest dogs ever…..Especially those trained for Military Combat! They are unbelievable.

-Sheila Tolley-

In the 1930’s the woodshed existed at home as did corporal punishment in schools…..

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The lack of discipline in our schools is indicative of a general lassitude that much of society has fallen into. The “dumbing down” of Americans is at least in some part, deliberate and in some part due to simple laziness.

“Dumbed down” people are easier to control, manipulate and make dependent. I’ll leave it up to readers to determine who benefits from that.

Dumbed down” people are also responsible for their station in life as it is easier to remain uneducated than to be educated. To be educated requires work, effort, drive and ambition. Remaining uneducated requires none of this. Relying on “spell check” and “grammar check” is easier than learning proper spelling and grammar. Relying on a calculator is easier than learning simple arithmetic functions. Promoting students who have not mastered their grade level skills to higher grades is easier than holding them back until they have mastered required skills. It’s easier to blame schools and teachers for students’ failures to learn than it is to blame students who refuse to make any effort to learn, or parents who refuse to take any responsibility for their child’s refusal to make an effort to learn. No politician is going to blame a tax payer for a child’s disinterest in school subjects or inattention, when it’s easier to blame the school system. It’s easier to lower standards and expect less from students than to maintain standards and expect more.

In most public schools today 60% is a passing score on a test. 60% ! This is pathetic, worse it’s dangerous. How would you like to be on an airplane where the pilot passed his pilot’s license with a score of 60%? How would you like to be operated on by a surgeon who passed his medical license test with a grade of 60%? Should such licenses to be handed out like “participation trophies” because we don’t want applicants to have a “negative self image”? Are we that desperate for “equal outcomes” regardless of performance and ability?

 

All too often, that answer is yes, because it’s EASIER.

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Famous Football One-liners

” It isn’t necessary to see a good tackle, you can hear it!” – Knute Rockne / Notre Dame

 

“The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely to be the one who dropped it.” –  Lou Holtz / Arkansas – Notre Dame

 

“A school without football is in danger of deteriorating into a medieval study hall.” –  Frank Leahy / Notre Dame

 

“Football is NOT a contact sport, it is a collision sport.  Dancing IS a contact sport”         –  Duffy Daugherty / Michigan State

 

” If lessons are learned in defeat, our team is getting a great education.” –  Murray Warmath / Minnesota

 

“We didn’t tackle well today, but we made up for it by not blocking.” –  John McKay / USC

 

“I’ve found that prayers work best when you have big players.” –  Knute Rockne / Notre Dame

 

Ohio State ‘s Urban Meyer on one of his players:     “He doesn’t know the meaning of the word fear. In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn’t know the meaning of a lot of words.”

 

Why do Auburn fans wear orange?  So they can dress that way for the game on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up trash on Monday.

 

What does the average Georgia player get on his SATs?  Drool.

 

How did the Auburn football player die from drinking milk? The cow fell on him.

 

Two Texas A&M football players were walking in the woods. One of them said,   ” Look, a dead bird.”  The other looked up in the sky and said, “Where?”

 

What do you say to a Florida State University football player dressed in a three-piece suit? “Will the defendant please rise.”

 

If three Rutgers football players are in the same car, who is driving? The police officer.

 

How can you tell if a Clemson football player has a girlfriend? There’s tobacco juice on both sides of the pickup truck.

 

What do you get when you put 32 Arkansas cheerleaders in one room? A full set of teeth.

 

University of Michigan Coach Jim Harbaugh is only going to dress half of his players for the game this week; the other half will have to dress themselves.

 

How is the Kansas football team like an opossum? They play dead at home and get killed on the road.

 

Why did the Tennessee linebacker steal a police car? He saw “911” on the side and thought it was a Porsche.

 

How do you get a former University of Miami football player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.

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THE SPHINX—-FOR FANCY NANCY

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https://townhall.com/columnists/kurtschlichter/2019/01/14/apocalypse-ruth-n2538971

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The Editor:  Is this all for Fancy Nancy, LL ?

Trailways Cat:  It sure is,  unless bigger news develops.  What made the Bus Incident funnier was Adam Schiff was also thrown off.  Here he is making a movie while on recess.  He is in the hoodie.

Fancy Nancy isn’t new to stealing tax money.  Her first term as Speaker was unarmed robbery.  Check out the LIQUOR BRAND NAMES.

https://townhall.com/tipsheet/katiepavlich/2019/01/18/sure-looks-like-pelosi-planned-to-party-on-her-trip-overseas-with-these-purchases-n2539266

Here are some largely unseen items.  Read the comments  from Jason Donner.

https://twitter.com/jason_donner/status/1085996085519224832

Her House Concierge forgot to pick up her luggage.

Hop on the bus Gus, Nancy went home.

https://www.google.com/search?source=hp&ei=EFxDXJ-1Ko_YtAX2uKQw&q=make+a+new+plan+stan+song+lyrics&oq=make+a+new+plan&gs_l=psy-ab.1.2.0l4.2601.7096..11319…0.0..0.472.2190.9j4j4-2……0….1..gws-wiz…..0..0i131j0i10.PcGMWJKOZ-8