While strolling round the Harbor this morning about 7 am.
I noticed a character shouting “Allah be praised” and “Death to all
infidels” and suddenly he tripped and fell into the water.
He was struggling to stay afloat because of all the explosives he
If he didn’t get help he would surely drown.
Being a responsible citizen, and abiding by the law of the land that
requires you to help those in distress, I informed the Police, the
Coast Guard,the Immigration Office and even the Fire Dept.
It is now 11 am,the terrorist has drowned, and none of the authorities
have yet to respond. I’m starting to think I wasted four stamps.
A rich Arab walks into a bar and is about to order a drink, when he sees a guy close by wearing a Jewish cap, a prayer shawl and traditional locks of hair.
He doesn’t have to be Einstein to know that this guy is Jewish. So, he shouts over to the bartender loudly so that everyone can hear, “Drinks for everyone in here, bartender, but not for the Jew over there.”
Soon after the drinks have been handed out, the Jew gives him a big smile, waves at him, then says, “Thank you!” in an equally loud voice.
This infuriates the Arab. He once again loudly orders drinks for everyone except the Jew.
As before, this does not seem to bother the Jewish guy. He continues to smile, and again yells, “Thank you!”
He does this once again for the third time, but again, not the Jew.
The Arab gets real cranky so he asks the bartender, ” What the hell is the matter with that Jew ? I’ve ordered three rounds of drinks for everyone in the bar, all 100 of them but him, and all the bastard does is smile and thank me. Is he nuts?”
“Nope,” replies the bartender. “He owns the place.”
The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.
Money will buy a fine dog but only kindness will make him wag his tail.
If you don’t have a sense of humor you probably don’t have any sense at all.
Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you’re in deep water.
How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.
Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?
Stroke a cat and you will have a permanent job.
No one has more driving ambition than the teenage boy who wants to buy a car.
There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.
There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 a.m. for example, it could be the right number.
No one ever says “It’s only a game” when their team is winning.
I’ve reached the age where ‘happy hour’ is a nap.
Be careful about reading the fine print there’s no way you’re going to like it.
The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.
Do you realize that, in about 40 years, we’ll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?
Money can’t buy happiness but somehow it’s more comfortable to cry in a Cadillac than in a VW.
After 60, if you don’t wake up aching in every joint, you’re probably dead.
Always be yourself because the people that matter don’t mind and the ones that mind don’t matter.
Life isn’t tied with a bow but it’s still a gift.
“As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses,
for you only get to play one round.”
-Ben Hogan –
When is the MSM going to start covering important things ?
The Editor: What should our loyal readers beware of, LL ?
Teddy Roosevelt Cat: Another of our monopolies tries to give you lies. Look at the news sights that Microsoft approves of, what a joke. To make it even worse they will censor your choices so that real news sights are forbidden/not even considered.
They probably could send money directly to a Democratic/Progressive fund, from your checking account if they wanted.
Artificial Intelligence and robots are going to eliminate millions of jobs that illegal immigrants come here to do—then you have millions more on welfare.
The DemocRATS want these to protect our borders.