Aphorisms…..Enjoy them!

 

The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.
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Money will buy a fine dog but only kindness will make him wag his tail.
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If you don’t have a sense of humor you probably don’t have any sense at all.
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Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
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A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you’re in deep water.
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How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
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Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.
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Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?
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Stroke a cat and you will have a permanent job.
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No one has more driving ambition than the teenage boy who wants to buy a car.
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There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.
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There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 a.m. for example, it could be the right number.
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No one ever says “It’s only a game” when their team is winning.
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I’ve reached the age where ‘happy hour’ is a nap.
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Be careful about reading the fine print there’s no way you’re going to like it.
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The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.
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Do you realize that, in about 40 years, we’ll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?
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Money can’t buy happiness but somehow it’s more comfortable to cry in a Cadillac than in a VW.
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After 60, if you don’t wake up aching in every joint, you’re probably dead.
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Always be yourself because the people that matter don’t mind and the ones that mind don’t matter.
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Life isn’t tied with a bow but it’s still a gift.

 

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