Archive | February 6, 2019

Jokes That Can Be Told In Church

Two boys were walking home from Sunday school
after hearing a strong preaching on the devil.
One said to the other, ‘What do you think about
all this Satan stuff?’
The other boy replied, ‘Well, you know how
Santa Claus turned out
It’s probably just your Dad..’


Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl
whispered to her mother, ‘Why is the bride dressed in white?”
The mother replied, ‘Because white is the color
of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life.’
The child thought about this for a moment then said,
‘So why is the groom wearing black?’


Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about
their fathers.
The first boy says, ‘My Dad scribbles a few words
on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50.’
The second boy says, ‘That’s nothing. My Dad
scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100.’
The third boy says, ‘I got you both beat. My Dad
scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!’


An elderly woman died last month.
Having never married, she requested no male
In her handwritten instructions for her memorial
service, she wrote,
‘They wouldn’t take me out while I was alive,
I don’t want them to take me out when I’m dead.’


A police recruit was asked during the exam,
‘What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?’
He answered, ‘Call for backup.’


A Sunday School teacher asked her class why
Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem.
A small child replied, ‘They couldn’t get a babysitter.’


A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to ‘Honor thy
father and thy mother,’ she asked,
‘Is there a commandment that teaches us how to
treat our brothers and sisters?’
Without missing a beat, one little boy answered,
‘Thou shall not kill.’


At Sunday School they were teaching how God
created everything, including human beings.
Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they
told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam’s ribs.
Later in the week his mother noticed him lying
down as though he were ill, and she said, ‘Johnny, what is the matter?’
Little Johnny responded, ‘I have pain in my side. I think I’m going to have a wife.’


You don’t stop laughing because you grow old..
You grow old because you stop laughing!
Take heed and pass these along to people who
need a laugh.
I thought you would enjoy this….times are tough
right now…for all of us…so we need something to make the day a happy place.

“They haven’t found a way to tax you for
laughing yet, but the new Governor of California is working on it.”



The  Editor:  For our loyal readers in the  DC-Virginia swamp hog wallow, what is satire, LL ?…0.0..0.224.1612.7j6j1……0….1..gws-wiz…..0..0i131j0i10.CFFP3z0jmiI

Vaudeville Cat:  It’s making fun of stupid people to show just how stupid they are.  The Governor, Lieutenant Governor, and Attorney General have all used ” blackface”.  I assume they were trying to be humorous/funny.  Here is one article that includes all three.  The LT. Governor also has been accused of a sexual assault.

THIS IS A SATIRE OF THE VIRGINIA DEMOCRATS. It is also a history of early American entertainment.  Our younger loyal readers might get an understanding of why ” blackface” is not appropriate.

Here are our Democratic heros practicing for their new jobs.  The one in the chair used a brown colored makeup.








This is the President’s SOTU report.


The Editor:  What high tech stuff are you reporting on, LL ?

Peacemaker Cat:  Here is something to help the gun owner keep track of things in a tense situation.

TE:  With all things being equal isn’t s a revolver more reliable, PC ?

Generally speaking they are, you can see the bullets unless one is in alignment with the barrel.  There are fewer moving parts.

As always,  you should have training before messing around with guns.  They are as dangerous as natural/propane gas or electricity.

Boeing is going all in on bionics.

Here is a fool, he’s never heard of cameras.