Valentine Jokes

 

A prince was put under a spell so that he could speak only one word each year. If he didn’t speak for two years, the following year he could speak two words and so on.

One day, he fell in love with a beautiful lady. He refrained from speaking for two whole years so he could call her “my darling.” But then he wanted to tell her he loved her, so he waited three more years. At the end of these five years, he wanted to ask her to marry him, so he waited another four years. Finally, as the ninth year of silence ended, he led the lady to the most romantic place in the kingdom and said, “My darling, I love you! Will you marry me?”

And the lady said, “Pardon?”

****

“If you step on a purple mushroom, you’ll be forced to marry the ugliest person in the world,” warned the old gnome, so the man continued carefully through the woods. He didn’t step on any purple mushrooms.

Suddenly a beautiful woman walked up and said: “We have to marry.”

“Why?” asked the man, smiling.

“I just stepped on one of those pesky purple mushrooms!” she replied.

****

A woman was taking a nap on Valentine’s Day afternoon. After she awoke, she told her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a gorgeous and expensive diamond necklace for Valentine’s Day! What do you think it means?”

“You’ll know tonight,” he said.

That evening, her husband came home with a small package for her. Thrilled, she opened it and found a book titled “The Meaning of Dreams.”

****

A Cub Scout found a frog that said, “Kiss me and I will become a beautiful princess.”

The boy studied the frog, then put it in his pocket.

“Hey,” the frog croaked, “how come you didn’t kiss me?”

“I’d rather have a talking frog than a princess any day!”

****

I just got a text from my girlfriend that said, “I bought you an awesome Valentine’s Day gift! xox”

I really hope she spelled “Xbox” wrong.

****

 

 


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