Archive | February 15, 2019

Make That Three…..

Image result for cartoon pic of a cowboy with 3 beers

A cowboy, who just moved to Colorado from Texas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud. He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.
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The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy: “You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it.  It would taste better if you bought one at a time.”
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The cowboy replies:”Well, you see, I have two brothers.  One is an Airborne Ranger, the other is a Navy Seal, both serving overseas somewhere.  When we all left our home in Texas, we promised that we’d drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I’m drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself.”
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The bartender admits that this is a nice custom and leaves it there.
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The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.
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One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs. All the regulars take notice and fall silent.
When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says:”I don’t want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss.”
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The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs. “Oh, no, everybody’s just fine,” he explains, “It’s just that my wife and I joined the church and I had to quit drinking.”
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“Hasn’t affected my brothers though.”
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Remembering yesterday….

Maxine on Aging

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING, SURELY I CAN’T LOOK THAT OLD?

WELL……YOU’LL LOVE THIS ONE! MY NAME IS ALICE SMITH AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST. I NOTICED HIS DENTAL DIPLOMA, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME. SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK HAIRED BOY WITH THE SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY SECONDARY SCHOOL CLASS SOME 30-ODD YEARS AGO. COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN?

UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT.  THIS BALDING, GREY HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS FAR TOO OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE. AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED MORGAN PARK SECONDARY SCHOOL .

‘YES, YES I DID. I’M A MORGANNER! ‘HE BEAMED WITH PRIDE.

‘WHEN DID YOU LEAVE TO GO TO COLLEGE?’ I ASKED HE ANSWERED, IN 1965. WHY DO YOU ASK?

‘YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!’ I EXCLAIMED.

HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY.

THEN THE UGLY, OLD, BALD, WRINKLED, FAT ARSED, GREY HAIRED, DECREPIT, BASTARD ASKED..

‘WHAT SUBJECT DID YOU TEACH ‘

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THE SPHINX—-FOLLOW THE MONEY

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https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/list-31-national-emergencies-effect-years/story?id=60294693

https://www.breitbart.com/politics/2019/02/14/donald-trump-to-announce-state-of-emergency-before-weekend-trip-to-florida/

https://www.breitbart.com/politics/2019/01/31/politico-with-wall-deal-elusive-in-congress-path-clears-for-trump-framing-national-emergency-declaration-on-border/

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The Editor:  What does follow the money mean,  LL ?

Fortune Cat:  If you want to know what is going on, follow the money.  Here are two new products.

http://fortune.com/2019/02/07/haagen-dazs-spirits-collection/

https://nypost.com/2019/02/09/coca-cola-launching-new-flavor-for-first-time-in-a-decade/

The Mueller Report may soon be finished, at least the leaks have started.

https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/justice-department/you-may-be-disappointed-mueller-report-n971601

The Patriots weren’t the only winners at the Super Bowl.  The dancers said the only time they get more money is when the Georgia State Legislature is meeting in Atlanta.  It meets for forty ( 40 ) days in January each year.  The taxpayers don’t trust them to meet longer.

https://www.sportsgossip.com/nfl/strippers-claim-they-took-in-around-3-million-for-superbowl-weekend

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Georgia_General_Assembly