Archive | February 18, 2019

One Last Request……

Katie Couric, Charlie Gibson, Brian Williams and a tough old U.S. Marine Sergeant were captured by terrorists in Iraq . The leader of the terrorists told them he’d grant each of them one last request before they were beheaded and dragged naked through the streets.

Katie Couric said, ‘Well, I’m a Southerner, so I’d like one last plate of fried chicken.’

The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with the chicken. Couric ate it all and said, ‘Now I can die content.’

Charlie Gibson said, ‘I’m living in ‘ New York , so I’d like to hear the song, The Moon and Me, one last time.’

The terrorist leader nodded to another terrorist who had studied the Western world and knew the music. He returned with some rag-tag musicians and played the song.

Gibson was satisfied.

Brian Williams said, ‘I’m a reporter to the end. I want to take out my tape recorder and describe the scene here and what’s about to happen. Maybe, someday, someone will hear it and know that I was on the job till the end.’

The leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder and Williams dictated his comments.

Williams then said, ‘Now I can die happy.’

The leader turned and asked, ‘And now, Mr.. U..S. Marine, what is your final wish?

‘Kick me in the ass,’ said the Marine.

‘What?’ asked the leader, ‘Will you mock us in your last hour?’

‘No, I’m NOT kidding. I want you to kick me in the ass,’ insisted the Marine.

So the leader shoved him into the yard and kicked him in the ass.

The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9 mm pistol from inside his cammies and shot the leader dead.

In the resulting confusion, he emptied his sidearm on six terrorists, then with his knife he slashed the throat of one, and with an AK-47, which he grabbed from a dead terrorist’s body, sprayed the rest of the terrorists killing another 11.

In a flash, all of them were either dead or fleeing for their lives.

As the Marine was untying Couric, Gibson, and Williams, they asked him, “Why did you ask him to kick you in the ass? Why didn’t you just shoot them all in the first place?”

‘What?’ replied the Marine, ‘and have you three assholes report that I was the aggressor…..?’

Semper Fi!

*
*

Things running thru my mind while rocking in the chair on my back porch….

I had amnesia once—or twice….

I went to San Francisco. I found someone’s heart. Now what?

Protons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.

If the world were a logical place, men would be the ones who ride horses sidesaddle.

What is a “free” gift? Aren’t all gifts free?

They told me I was gullible and I believed them.

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he’ll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.

Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.

One nice thing about egotists: they don’t talk about other people.

My weight is perfect for my height–which varies.

I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.

How can there be self-help “groups”?

If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I’ll show you a man who can’t get his pants off.

Is it me –or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?

*
*

Don’t be misled

WRITTEN BY: BILL BOWSER…FROM CINCINNATI, OHIO

 

The news media is making a big fuss about Amazon’s federal income tax bill. We’re all supposed to be angry with Jeff Bezos because he is somehow cheating the system, but that’s not really what is going on. Amazon could not get away without paying income tax unless they didn’t actually owe any. If they refused to pay money owed to the IRS, the IRS would seize their assets and prosecute those responsible for tax fraud. The IRS wields incredible power to get what is owed.

Obviously something else is going on here. Since it is probably not some obscure chapter in the tax code that is allowing Amazon to avoid the taxes, it must be that politicians have made some sort of sweetheart deal with Bezos. This looks like a classic case of corporate welfare.

Anyone who studies these deals that politicians like to make will quickly realize that the public always winds up on the short end, while the politicians get campaign contributions and favored corporations get special tax treatment. You can’t really blame Amazon. Anyone would take advantage of special tax treatment if he or she could get it. Slimey politicians are the root of the problem, but they keep a low profile when the complaints about Amazon not paying taxes are being thrown around.

There aren’t enough people trying to drain the swamp.

 

THE SPHINX—-ALL SHOOK UP

________________________________________________________________________

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2019/02/15/full-moon-super-moon-snow-moon-sky-spectacle-coming-tuesday/2873967002/

http://fortune.com/2019/02/18/whats-open-closed-presidents-day-2019-banks/

________________________________________________________________________

The Editor:  Who is upset, LL ?

Dung Cat:  The Dung Beatles are in a snit.  Can you spot the real Dung Beatles in the next two links ?

https://www.cnbc.com/2019/02/15/pelosi-and-schumer-criticize-trump-national-emergency-declaration.html

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dung_beetle

Guess who represents the San Franfeces district in the Golden State ?

https://www.google.com/search?source=hp&ei=IEZoXLaqAsnqjwSloZDgBg&q=what+person+represents+the+san+francisco&oq=what+person+represents+the+san+fransco&gs_l=psy-ab.1.0.33i22i29i30.19000.43391..48642…0.0..0.166.4275.6j32……0….1..gws-wiz…..0..0i131j0j0i22i30j33i299.eqiWrE9cQVo

It is so bad that there is an APP to report new deposits, just like your bank.

https://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/article/SnapCrap-app-San-Francisco-poop-feces-dirty-street-13281837.php

Nancy’s legacy is like Obama’s.

This space is blank to prevent any connection with someone who has a legacy.