Archive | March 9, 2019

Today’s Dennis the Menace….Little Harold.

The Misadventures of Little Harold

 

1.    A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, ‘Everyone who thinks they’re stupid, stand up!’ After a few seconds, Little Harold stood up. The teacher said, ‘Do you think you’re stupid, Harold?’ ‘No, ma’am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!’

 

2.    Harold watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. ‘Why do you do that, mommy?’ he asked. ‘To make myself beautiful,’ said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. ‘What’s the matter, asked Harold ‘Giving up?’

 

3.    The math teacher saw that Harold wasn’t paying attention in class She called on him and said, ‘Harold! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?’ Harold quickly replied, ‘NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!’

 

4.    Harold’s kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. ‘Yes,’ said the policeman. ‘The detectives want very badly to capture him. Harold asked, “Why didn’t you keep him when you took his picture ? ”

 

5.    Little Harold attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse’s legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Harold asked, ‘Dad, why are you doing that?’ His father replied, ‘Because when I’m buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. Harold, looking worried, said, ‘Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom ….’

 

If this brightened your day, don’t let it stop here. Pass it on with a smile. Keep spreading the cheer! Pass on to your friends!

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THE SPHINX—-REAL AND UNREAL

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DAYLIGHT SAVING TIME IS HERE AND REAL.   SET YOUR CLOCK FORWARD ONE HOUR BEFORE GOING TO BED TONIGHT  ( SATURDAY ).

https://www.almanac.com/content/when-daylight-saving-time

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The Editor:  What is real today, LL ?

https://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2019/mar/8/house-votes-favor-illegal-immigrant-voting/

Virtual Cat:  Here is an upsetting article.  It is like the year 1650 in some places.

https://www.reuters.com/article/us-serbia-environment-eu/trash-mountain-toxic-canal-highlight-serbias-eu-waste-challenge-idUSKCN1QI4EO

Here are some other real items.

https://www.seattletimes.com/nation-world/crew-of-aging-seattle-based-icebreaker-struggled-with-fire-on-antarctica-mission/

https://pjmedia.com/michaelwalsh/somali-gangs-battle-in-minneapolis-somalis-demand-that-cops-do-something/

Amazon is banning books, like Hitler used to do.

https://pjmedia.com/homeland-security/amazon-bans-tommy-robinsons-book-mohammeds-koran/

Here is  a fact from the Washington Post, the first one this year.

https://townhall.com/tipsheet/mattvespa/2019/03/06/no-border-crisis-even-this-wapo-reporter-said-februarys-illegal-alien-apprehension-numbers-were-bonkers-n2542667

Unreal, Hollywood has been unreal for eighty ( 80 ) years.

https://www.wsj.com/articles/home-sellers-doctored-photos-challenge-buyers-bots-11551708001

Astronomy Picture of the Day

Crescent Enceladus
Image Credit: Cassini Imaging Team, SSI, JPL, ESA, NASA

Explanation: Peering from the shadows, the Saturn-facing hemisphere of tantalizing inner moon Enceladus poses in this Cassini spacecraft image. North is up in the dramatic scene captured during November 2016 as Cassini’s camera was pointed in a nearly sunward direction about 130,000 kilometers from the moon’s bright crescent. In fact, the distant world reflects over 90 percent of the sunlight it receives, giving its surface about the same reflectivity as fresh snow. A mere 500 kilometers in diameter, Enceladus is a surprisingly active moon. Data collected during Cassini’s flybys and years of images have revealed the presence of remarkable south polar geysers and a possible global ocean of liquid water beneath an icy crust.

Tomorrow’s picture: moon image impossible