Archive | July 21, 2019

A Man meets a Genie…

Image result for a man meets a genie

 

A young man is going about his regular day when a genie stops him and grants him one wish.

The man stops to think about it for a minute, then says, okay i got one. He tells the Genie for his wish he wants to build a bridge from Los Angeles to Sydney so he could drive whenever he wants.

The Genie immediately said no, its not possible. The Pacific is just too deep, their are currents, the bridge will never hold up. Its impossible, wish for something else.

A little upset that he can’t have his bridge the man comes up with another wish. He asks the Genie to understand how a women’s mind works.

The genie replied, do you want the bridge to be 2 lanes or 4 lanes?

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1-2-3 strikes you’re out…..

Image result for baseball and glove clipart

A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work.

Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch.

The woman’s husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.
The little boy says, “Dark in here.”

The man says, “Yes, it is.”
Boy – “I have a baseball.”
Man – “That’s nice.”
Boy – “Want to buy it?”
Man – “No, thanks.”
Boy – “My dad’s outside.”
Man – “OK, how much?”
Boy – “$150”
Man – “Sold.”

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.

Boy – “Dark in here.”
Man – “Yes, it is.”
Boy – “I have a Wilson infielder’s glove.”
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy,”How much?”
Boy – “$350”
Man – “Highway robbery. Sold.”

A few days later, the father says to the boy, “Grab your gloves, let’s go outside and have a game of catch.”

The boy says, “I can’t, I sold my ball and my glove.”
The father asks, “How much did you sell them for?”
The boy says, “$500”
The father says, “That’s terrible to overcharge your friends like that… that is way more than those two things cost.
I’m going to take you to church and make you confess your greed.”

They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth with the Priest to confess his sins and he closes the door.

The boy says, “Dark in here.”
The priest says, “Don’t start that crap again, you’re in my closet now.”

THE SPHINX—-THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF NATURE

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https://townhall.com/tipsheet/mattvespa/2019/07/19/the-democrats-ultimate-nightmare-scenario-trump-loses-by-5-million-votes-n2550342

https://www.usnews.com/news/best-states/pennsylvania/articles/2019-07-19/parents-told-they-could-lose-kids-over-unpaid-school-lunches

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The Editor:  Is this like a National Geographic special, LL ?

Jane Goodall Cat:  It sure is, but even better.  CNN announced that Mark Sanford was thinking of running against Trump.  Some of our loyal readers might remember that he was governor of South Carolina.  He disappeared for a few days while in office and his staff said that he was hiking the Appalachia Trail.

https://www.appalachiantrail.org/home/explore-the-trail

https://www.cnn.com/2019/07/16/politics/mark-sanford-considering-challenging-trump-2020/index.html

TE:  That is great, he is a nature lover, enjoys the outdoors, and mountain climbing.

Zebulon Pike Cat:  Not really, the only climbing done was in Buenos Aires, Argentina in  Maria Chapur’s bed  ( his new girlfriend ).

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mark_Sanford_extramarital_affair

http://content.time.com/time/specials/packages/article/0,28804,1908008_1908007_1907930,00.html

He didn’t even get to use our tips on hiking and “switchbacks”.

https://skilledadventurer.com/what-are-switchbacks-in-hiking

TE:  Is Trump worried about him ?

Spanish Cat:  No, he said he wouldn’t worry about someone who would kiss and tell, and too stupid to pay her money  to keep quiet.

Astronomy Picture of the Day

Moonquakes Surprisingly Common
Image Credit: NASA, Apollo 11 Crew

Explanation: Why are there so many moonquakes? Analyses of seismometers left on the moon by the Apollo moon landings reveals a surprising number of moonquakes occurring within 100 kilometers of the surface. In fact, 62 moonquakes were detected in data recorded between 1972 and 1977. Many of these moonquakes are not only strong enough to move furniture in a lunar apartment, but the stiff rock of the moon continues to vibrate for many minutes, significantly longer than the softer rock earthquakes on Earth. The cause of the moonquakes remains unknown, but a leading hypothesis is the collapse of underground faults. Regardless of the source, future moon dwellings need to be built to withstand the frequent shakings. Pictured here 50 years ago today, Apollo 11 astronaut Buzz Aldrin stands beside a recently deployed lunar seismometer, looking back toward the lunar landing module.

Tomorrow’s picture: moon circle