Archive | August 2019

ON MY SOAPBOX…That Suede Belt

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Perhaps you have read my previously posted, allegedly….but probably not true, story titled The Gingham Dress. This is a similar, but definitely true, story that happened to me.

I was twenty-two years old. I had just moved to Fort Smith, Arkansas. Obviously, my number one priority was to find employment. I bought a newspaper and searched the want ads for available jobs. The first one I noticed was a job opening for a sales clerk at a place called The Boston Store. I had never been in sales before but I needed a job.

Although it had been over five years since Nancy Sinatra topped the charts with “These Boots Are Made For Walking” mini skirts and boots were still the style in Fort Smith. I donned my mini skirt and boots and headed out for my job interview at The Boston Store. I was introduced to the Personnel Manager. After we talked a short while, he picked up the phone and made a call. I only heard his side of the conversation, it went like this:

Good morning, Geneva. Do you have an opening in the hosiery department? (Pause) Well, make one…by Monday morning.

He told me to report to Geneva in the hosiery department the following Monday morning at 9:00. I was so happy to have a job.

The Boston Store was a very pricey, tri-level, family-owned store in a shopping mall. The Neigh (rhymes with high) family owned the store. I soon learned that Randy Neigh was the big man in charge. Sears and J.C. Penney’s were located in the same mall, just a short walk from where I worked. I spent all my lunch breaks killing time in these two affordable stores.

One day while at work, I noticed an old lady admiring a belt in the accessories department. I felt so sorry for her. She looked so poor, she was dressed like a gypsy. She picked the belt up, looked at the price and placed it back on the rack. The next day, the same lady was back again, looking at the same belt.

When I had no customer, I went over and started a conversation with the gypsy lady. “I have noticed you admiring that belt, it is also one of my favorites.” She was very friendly and replied, “Since I retired I enjoy wasting my time in the mall, I don’t buy much but I enjoy looking just the same.” It broke my heart…I said, “Ma’am, it is wrong for me to say this since I work here, but the same identical belt is available at Sears for one third the price.” She thanked me, I smiled and went back to the hosiery counter.

Geneva approached me and asked what Mrs. Neigh and I were talking about? It turns out that Gypsy Lady was Randy Neigh’s Very Rich Mother. Oh my! I wonder where I will be working tomorrow?

Early the next morning, I watched as Randy Neigh came down the escalator (like a Trump moment) and walked straight toward Geneva and me. He said, “Good morning, Sheila. My Mother is the largest shareholder of The Boston Store. When she demands action be taken it is not questioned. (At this point, I was ready to pick up my purse and go punch out.) Then he continued, “She has demanded that I give you an immediate pay increase. It should be reflected in your next paycheck.”

I was in shock, Geneva was in shock…..and I actually think Randy Neigh may have been in shock.

I don’t think I even said “Thank You” to Randy Neigh. I did watch for, but never seen, Gypsy Lady again. I would have definitely said “Thank You” to her.

In retrospect, I would have purchased  that wine colored suede belt for The Rich Gypsy Lady…even if it meant putting it on lay-a-way for a few months.


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The Gingham Dress

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AN ALLEGED  TRUE STORY…. by Malcolm Forbes


A lady in a faded gingham dress and her husband, dressed in a homespun threadbare suit, stepped off the train in Boston, and walked timidly without an appointment into the Harvard University President’s outer office. The secretary could tell in a moment that such backwoods, country hicks had no business at Harvard & probably didn’t even deserve to be in Cambridge.

“We’d like to see the president, “the man said softly.

“He’ll be busy all day,” the secretary snapped.

“We’ll wait,” the lady replied.

For hours the secretary ignored them, hoping that the couple would finally become discouraged and go away. They didn’t, and the secretary grew frustrated and finally decided to disturb the president, even though it was a chore she always regretted.

“Maybe if you see them for a few minutes, they’ll leave,” she said to him!

He sighed in exasperation and nodded. Someone of his importance obviously didn’t have the time to spend with them, and he detested gingham dresses and homespun suits cluttering up his outer office.

The president, stern faced and with dignity, strutted toward the couple.

The lady told him, “We had a son who attended Harvard for one year. He loved Harvard. He was happy here. But about a year ago, he was accidentally killed. My husband and I would like to erect a memorial to him, somewhere on campus.”

The president wasn’t touched. He was shocked.

“Madam,” he said, gruffly, “we can’t put up a statue for every person who attended Harvard and died. If we did, this place would look like a cemetery.”

“Oh, no,” the lady explained quickly. “We don’t want to erect a statue. We thought we would like to give a building to Harvard.”

The president rolled his eyes. He glanced at the gingham dress and homespun suit, then exclaimed, “A building! Do you have any earthly idea how much a building costs? We have over seven and a half million dollars in the physical buildings here at Harvard.”

For a moment the lady was silent. The president was pleased. Maybe he could get rid of them now.

The lady turned to her husband and said quietly, “Is that all it cost to start a university? Why don’t we just start our own?” Her husband nodded. The president’s face wilted in confusion and bewilderment.

Mr. and Mrs. Leland Stanford got up and walked away, traveling to Palo Alto,California where they established the university that bears their name, Stanford University, a memorial to a son that Harvard no longer cared about.

You can easily judge the character of others by how they treat those who they think can do nothing for them.


A Simple Solution…

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When one tries to reason with a lefty Democrat, remember you are dealing with a person who believes that a man can be a woman and a woman can be a man and that such a delusion should be encouraged, not discouraged. Discouragement of the delusion is considered immoral and bigoted. Thus, our society has unnecessary dilemmas concerning bathrooms, athletic competition at all levels, and “pronoun” controversies subjecting ourselves to all manner of laws, rules, regulation and more needless government control.

Here is a suggestion to break the left’s ridiculous gender ideology and denial of biological reality.

President Trump should make a declaration that he is identifying as a woman. The left will have to admit the absurdity of their gender ideology or accept and celebrate “Donna Trump” as the first woman president, thus beating Hillary, Liz Warren, Amy Klobuchar, Kamala Harris and Kirsten Gillibrand to the glorious goal of one of their female firsts.

Furthermore, if he remains married to Melania he will also be the first gay president and the first lesbian president. He will also be the first lesbian president married to an immigrant! What a most glorious event for the democrats to celebrate.

Don’t you just love it when a plan comes together!


Don’t cheat on your taxes…..

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Tony died and was sent to be judged. He was told that he had cheated on his income taxes, and that the only way he could get into Heaven would be to sleep with a stupid, butt-ugly woman for the next five years and enjoy it. Tony decided that this was a small price to pay for an eternity in Heaven. So, off he went with this woman, pretending to be happy.

As he was walking along, he saw his friend Carlos up ahead. Carlos was with an even uglier woman than he was with. When he approached Carlos he asked him what was going on, and Carlos replied, “I cheated on my income taxes and scammed the government out of a lot of money.” They both shook their heads in understanding and figured that as long as they have to be with these women, they might as well hang out together to help pass the time.

Now Tony, Carlos, and their two beastly women were walking along, minding their own business when Tony and Carlos saw their friend John up ahead with an absolutely drop dead gorgeous supermodel. Stunned, Tony and Carlos asked John how he ended up with this unbelievable goddess while they were stuck with these awful women. John replied “I have no idea and I’m definitely not complaining. This has been absolutely the best time of my life. There is only one thing that I can’t seem to understand. Every time, after we have sex, she rolls over and murmurs to herself, “Damn income taxes!”