WRITTEN BY: SHEILA TOLLEY
We have had some turbulent days in the news recently, no doubt about that! So many opinions are offered, but none that seem to present answers that will be accepted by both parties of our government. It can drive a person insane if you dwell on it for too long without a little Mental Intervention.
I have decided to give my brain and nerves a rest. I am too old for this new world of social media and all the problems that came with it. I am jumping into my time machine, shifting into Reverse and going way back. I will zip backward through the years until I have left the last two generations completely out of my mind. I will go so far back that I cannot even see their shadow in my little mirror that reads “VEHICLES MAY BE CLOSER THAN THEY APPEAR.”
Well, finally..here I am. Way back in time. I am going to try solving some of those puzzles that were never answered. I have on my Saddle Oxford shoes and I am good to go. Problems seem a little less serious now. It could be because I must run outside and turn the TV antenna to pick up that other channel. Look at that….Old Speedy Alka Seltzer is still plop-plopping and fizz-fizzing and Rice Krispies are still snap, cracking and popping.
Let’s get down to the business of answering those unanswered questions. I want to know why America did not name that horse before they started on that trip across the desert? I also want to know who put the bomp in the bomp-shoo-bomp-shoo bomp? After I have thought about it for so many years, I believe it was the same guy who put the ram in the ram-a lama-ding-dong. One of those guys with a duck-tail hair style and a pack of cigarettes rolled up in his tee shirt sleeve. You know the kind, your parents warned you. Those young folks, just looking for trouble.
Time for a TV break. Superman is on….my caped hero. I remember this episode. The bad guy is shooting at Superman…But my hero never dodges, he just deflects the bullets off like they are popcorn. But wait, after the bad guy emptied the gun of bullets, he threw the gun at my hero…..and Superman ducked. Why? Well, now I know why they took down the phone booths where Superman changed clothes. My Superman wimped out.
I am changing to the other channel. I will watch Lassie. Everyone always bragged that, “Lassie is the smartest dog in the world.” My sister would run up and kiss the TV screen when it showed Lassie at the end. I remember what my brother told me about Lassie. He said, “Lassie is not really that smart, she just looks smart because Timmy is stupid enough to get stuck under the same tractor three times a week, so Lassie always knows where to find him.” My heroes are fading fast.
Wait! There is always American Bandstand. Then again, No can do….we had to stop watching that because Chuck Berry started singing about his Ding-A–Ling.
I may as well just get back in my time machine and go forward to 2019. I will keep an eye open though, just maybe there is one phone booth left and I can watch Superman go into the phone booth, change clothes…….and come out as Clark Kent.
I sure hope this time machine starts up again….or I will need a really fast horse.