An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution. His last minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was feeling worn out and depressed.
As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife started on him about, ‘What time of night to be getting home is this? Where have you been? Dinner is cold and I’m not reheating it’. And on and on and on.
Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual, he poured himself a shot of whiskey and headed off for a long hot soak in the bathtub, pursued by the predictable sarcastic remarks as he dragged himself up the stairs.
While he was in the bath, the phone rang. The wife answered and was told that her husband’s client, James Wright, had been granted a stay of execution after all. Wright would not be hanged tonight.
Finally realizing what a terrible day he must have had, she decided to go upstairs and give him the good news.
As she opened the bathroom door, she was greeted by the sight of her husband, bent over naked, drying his legs and feet.
“They’re not hanging Wright tonight,” she said.
He whirled around and screamed, “GOOD GRIEF WOMAN, DON’T YOU EVER STOP?”
The Editor: Is it true about Trump buying Greenland, LL ?
Viking Cat: It sure is. Denmark is just playing along until the 2020 election. Trump used the Obama Method to make the down payment, like Obama used to pay the Iranians. Here is a video of the first payment delivery.
Here are the first new residents.
TE: Are there any secrets that you can reveal, VC ?
Daughter of Freya Cat: The President has to relieve the pressure on Guam. It is about to tip over. Greenland will be able to provide homes for many millions.
The Democrats/Communist/Socialist and others that don’t like America and her Bill of Rights can move to Greenland. They can create their own government that is suitable for them.
This is the fiftieth anniversary of Woodstock. We thank our soldiers who were in Vietnam at the time.
Peter Fonda had good timing.
Explanation: You are a spaceship soaring through the universe. So is your dog. We all carry with us trillions of microorganisms as we go through life. These multitudes of bacteria, fungi, and archaea have different DNA than you. Collectively called your microbiome, your shipmates outnumber your own cells. Your crew members form communities, help digest food, engage in battles against intruders, and sometimes commute on a liquid superhighway from one end of your body to the other. Much of what your microbiome does, however, remains unknown. You are the captain, but being nice to your crew may allow you to explore more of your local cosmos.
Tomorrow’s picture: volcanic clouds
From: Hank Ashmore
The Deplorable Infidel
WORDS OF WISDOM
Steve Jobs dies a billionaire, with a fortune of $7 billion, at the age of 56 from pancreatic cancer, and here are some of his last words:
“In other eyes, my life is the essence of success, but aside from work, I have little joy. And in the end, wealth is just a fact of life to which I am accustomed. At this moment, lying on the bed, sick and remembering all my life, I realize that all my recognition and wealth that I have is meaningless in the face of imminent death. You can hire someone to drive a car for you, make money for you – but you cannot rent someone to carry the disease for you. One can find material things, but there is one thing that cannot be found when it is lost – “LIFE”. Treat yourself well, and cherish others. As we get older we are smarter, and we slowly realize that the watch is worth $30 or $300 – both of which show the same time. Whether we carry a purse worth $30 or $300 – the amount of money in the wallets are the same. Whether we drive a car worth $150,000 or a car worth $30,000 – the road and the distance are the same, we reach the same destination. If the house we live in is 300 square meters, or 3000 square meters – the loneliness is the same.”
“Your true inner happiness does not come from the material things of this world. Whether you’re flying first class, or economy class – if the plane crashes, you crash with it. So, I hope you understand that when you have friends or someone to talk to – this is true happiness! Keep them in all stages of life and enjoy a healthy life. Whichever stage in life we are at right now, with time, we will face the day when the curtain comes down. Treasure love for your family, love for your spouse, love for your friends. Treat yourself well, cherish others. Love the people God sent you, one day He’ll need them back.”
JUST ANOTHER NFL PLAYER
Chicago Bears offensive lineman Kyle Long was reportedly kicked out of practice Wednesday after getting into an intense fight with rookie defensive end Jalen Dalton. Long ripped the undrafted rookie’s helmet off and began hitting him with it. Long was removed from practice. This was Long’s second fight in four days.
WAKE UP AMERICA BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE!
“If our country is to survive and prosper, we must summon the courage to condemn and reject the liberal agenda, and we had better do it soon.’
AN OPINION FROM THE DEPLORABLE INFIDEL
When it comes to fast food, diners are most emotional about Chick-fil-A. That’s the big takeaway from a 2019 Brand Intimacy Study released by marketing agency MBLM, which measured customers’ fondness and emotional bonds toward the fast-food brands they “use and love”. The study results indicate that Chick-fil-A has achieved the strongest emotional connection with customers of any of the 15 fast-food brands studied. Maybe all the other brands should try closing on Sunday.
A SIMPLE TRUTH FOR TODAY
Borrow, spend, tax, and promise, promise, promise is the formula for a long and successful political career.