An Ellisville school teacher called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called – and that on the few occasions, when it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone rang.
The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile lady. He climbed a telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber’s house.
The phone didn’t ring right away, but then the dog moaned and the telephone began to ring.
Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:
The dog was tied to the telephone system’s ground wire with a steel chain and collar.
The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.
The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the number was called.
After a couple of jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate.
The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring.
An excellent list for aging:
1. It’s time to use the money you saved up. Use it and enjoy it. Don’t just keep it for those who may have no notion of the sacrifices you made to get it. Remember there is nothing more dangerous than a son or daughter-in-law with big ideas for your hard-earned capital. Warning: This is also a bad time for investments, even if it seems wonderful or fool-proof. They only bring problems and worries. This is a time for you to enjoy some peace and quiet.
2. Stop worrying about the financial situation of your children and grandchildren, and don’t feel bad spending your money on yourself. You’ve taken care of them for many years, and you’ve taught them what you could. You gave them an education, food, shelter and support. The responsibility is now theirs to earn their own money.
3. Keep a healthy life, without great physical effort. Do moderate exercise (like walking every day), eat well and get your sleep. It’s easy to become sick, and it gets harder to remain healthy. That is why you need to keep yourself in good shape and be aware of your medical and physical needs. Keep in touch with your doctor, do tests even when you’re feeling well. Stay informed.
4. Always buy the best, most beautiful items for your significant other. The key goal is to enjoy your money with your partner. One day one of you will miss the other, and the money will not provide any comfort then, enjoy it together.
5. Don’t stress over the little things. You’ve already overcome so much in your life. You have good memories and bad ones, but the important thing is the present. Don’t let the past drag you down and don’t let the future frighten you. Feel good in the now. Small issues will soon be forgotten.
6. Regardless of age, always keep love alive. Love your partner, love life, love your family, love your neighbor and remember: “A man is not old as long as he has intelligence and affection.”
7. Be proud, both inside and out. Don’t stop going to your hair salon or barber, do your nails, go to the dermatologist and the dentist, keep your perfumes and creams well stocked. When you are well-maintained on the outside, it seeps in, making you feel proud and strong.
The Editor: What does the title mean, LL ?
Thorn Cat: A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.
Trump quoted Shakespeare the other day when he said that there was something rotten in Denmark, after they wouldn’t sell Greenland. It applies better to the Democrats.
Fredo is still betraying the family.
Those Red Chinese Communist are stirring up more trouble in the Pacific.
This is a great article. The author deserves some roses.
The Deplorable Infidel
THE CHALLENGE FOR TODAY
America can be “the Peacemaker of the World.” She can help other nations discover the formula for freedom and prosperity. But there is an important prerequisite: America must first rediscover that formula for themselves, as it is embodied in the 286 principles found in the Constitution. It is helpful to remember that the Constitution is not a stale, dead document. Rather, it is a vital, living blueprint for the success of the United States as a nation and its citizens as individuals. A quick comparison between the constitutional principles and our practices today will show where we have gone astray. And the remedy is simple: return to basic principles of the Founder’s formula. Of course, the first step to improvement and reform is education. The next step is action. The principles of the Constitution were not meant only to be studied, but to be applied. That, then, is our challenge for today!
WAKE UP AMERICA BEFORE ITS TOO LATE!
“If our nation is to survive and prosper, we must summon the courage to condemn and reject the liberal agenda, and we had better do it soon.”
AN OPINION FROM THE DEPLORABLE INFIDEL
If there were ever a general in the war on police, it is Barack Obama.
A SIMPLE TRUTH FOR TODAY
The evils of tyranny are rarely seen but by him who resists it.