ON MY SOAPBOX…My Syndicated Newspaper Job

Image result for soapbox free pics



It is certainly no secret that I enjoy writing. In the past, I had a newspaper column in The Upson Home Journal (Upson County, Georgia) titled… Think About This. My column was printed weekly for over five years. I also authored a column for The Meriwether Free Press (Meriwether County, Georgia) for a shorter  time frame. But, C’mon now, every writer’s dream is to be syndicated in newspapers across The United States….like Lewis Grizzard, Dave Barry, Charles Krauthammer, etc.

The closest I ever came to fulfilling that dream was having dinner with Lewis Grizzard in Macon, Georgia after a book signing & stage show and receiving a letter from the late, Judge Andrew Whalen, stating that he considered my writing to be equivalent to that of  Lewis Grizzard.

That is until now…My lifelong dream has finally been fulfilled. I have been given a syndicated contract with the The New York Times, The Washington Post and The Los Angeles Times. I am so proud of myself. My first assignment from the syndicate is to “Dive Deep And Find Facts That Have Never Been Released.” You tell me, is this a dream job or what?

I am so excited. I am posting my first revelations here on Tolley’s Topics before I send them across the magic airwaves to the newspapers:

1. Nancy Pelosi had a sex change operation after she fathered her five children.

2. Al Sharpton was born to Swedish parents and is not a natural born citizen of The United States. He was a participant in a free scientific experiment of Melanin injections. His parents were assured the results would be temporary, but;  as often happens, the government lied. He was born, Ludvig Nils Larsson in the little town of Jokkmokk, Sweden. In fact, Al was one of the first people to be given a new identity and free admission into the United States under the witness protection program. After a couple extra melanin injections and a Perm by Toni..the Wright Brothers brought him to our great country.

3. Bernie Sanders is actually the Grandfather of the original Colonel Sanders of Kentucky Fried Chicken.

4. Michelle Obama was put on probation after she shoved her penis into the face of Valerie Jarrett at a drunken party in Chicago.

5. Ilhan Omar is not really a Muslim. She escaped from the top-secret U.S. Air Force Base, commonly known as Area 51. It is imperative that her alien antennae stay intact so you will never see her without a head wrap.

6. Kamala Harris is Ludvig Nils Larsson’s, AKA,  Al Sharpton’s love child.

7. Elizabeth Warren was arrested for Public Indecency. She was doing the YMCA dance NAKED in her Indian Headdress . Five people punched their own eyes out. Lawsuits are pending.

8. Robert Francis “Beto” O’Rourke is the Great Grandson of the original Frito Bandito. History truly is an endless loop.

9. Peter Paul Montgomery Buttigieg, is so confident that he has contracted Sherwin Williams to paint the white-house in rainbow colors and is changing the national anthem to “Somewhere Over The Rainbow.”

10. Joe Biden had another memory flashback… Something about lining a bunch of people against a wall at Chicago’s north side and shooting them on Saint Valentines’ Day.

I do hope you have enjoyed the updates from “My Deep Dive Into The Liberal World.”

As always, I take my commitments very seriously. My contract from The New York Times, The Washington Post and The Los Angeles Times stated that I must never “LET THE TRUTH INTERFERE WITH MY FACTS.”  I fully intend to follow those rules.










The Editor:  What are the doldrums, LL ?


Clipper Ship Cat:  They are a lack of wind near the equator.  In the olden days sailing ships were almost helpless.


TE:  Does D.C. ever  experience the doldrums, CSC ?

Cutty Sark Cat:  It sure does, especially in August.  Congress is out of town.  It is their last chance to spend a full month high on drugs and liquor.  Most also want to get back to their districts to have sex with teenagers before school begins.  Epstein’s  mysterious demise put a crimp in a bunch of sex. They only work about a hundred and thirty ( 130 ) days a year. 



Michelle Malkin is fighting the Maryland doldrums.


The other Michelle is making some ” pay-off ” money for Obama’s favors while in office.


This is where the Atlantic and Pacific meet, there are no doldrums here.

Today’s Accidental Invention…Coca-Cola

The man who created the syrup for Coca-Cola was not a chef—or even in the food industry. Rather, the soda’s inventor was a pharmacist by the name of Dr. John Stith Pemberton, who was seeking to create a cocaine- and caffeine-filled alcoholic drink that people with chemical addictions to drugs (including himself) could use to wean off of morphine and other drugs. However, when Prohibition hit, Pemberton was forced to take the alcohol out of his formula (though the cocaine remained for decades), and thus the first bottle of Coca-Cola was made in 1886.

Woman drinking soda, words with different meanings