Archive | November 9, 2019

Two cute clean jokes

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car, neither one could hardly see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red but they went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself, “I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light!”

After a few more minutes they came to another intersection, the light was red, and again they went right through. This time, the passenger was almost sure that the light had been red, but was also concerned that she might be seeing things.

She was getting nervous and decided to pay very close attention. At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was definitely red and they went right through it. She turned to the other woman and said, “Mildred! Did you know we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us!”

Mildred turned to her and said, “Oh My Gosh!! Am I driving? “

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A policeman is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street.

However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach. After watching the boy’s efforts for some time, the policeman walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand on the child’s shoulder leans over and gives the doorbell a solid ring.

Crouching down to the child’s level, the policeman smiles and asks, “And now what, my little man?”

To which the boy replies, “Now we run!”

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A Funny Golf Story…..

Image result for golf pics free

The Reverend Francis Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf:

So, he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and convinced him to say Mass for him that day.

As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, Father Norton headed out of town to a golf course about forty miles away.

This way he knew he wouldn’t accidentally meet anyone he knew from his parish.

Setting up on the first tee, he was alone.

After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church!

At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed. “You’re not going to let him get away with this, are you?”

The Lord sighed, and said. “No, I guess not.”

Just then Father Norton hit the ball and it shot straight towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the hole.

It WAS A 420 YARD HOLE IN ONE!

St. Peter was astonished.

He looked at the Lord and asked. “Why did you let him do that?”

The Lord smiled and replied. “Who’s he going to tell?”

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THE SPHINX—-SEX, SEX, SEX

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https://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-trump-impeachment-whistleblower-e/explainer-is-it-illegal-for-trump-or-congress-to-name-the-impeachment-whistleblower-idUSKBN1XH2QS

https://www.breitbart.com/clips/2019/11/07/sessions-makes-2020-alabama-u-s-senate-run-official-says-no-senator-will-be-more-for-advancing-trumps-agenda/

https://www.drudgereport.com/

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The Editor:  Is this about the Congressional Slush Fund For Sex, LL ?

Poll Cat:  I just used the title to get a few distracted readers to pay attention, like the New York Slime does.

My real subject is polls.   It is a fun poll.  Alabama is playing Louisiana State University on Saturday for what will be, for a week at least, the number One ranking in college football.  Here are three polls, according to your viewpoint we could have two number ones, a number one and number two, and several more possibilities playing the same game.

https://www.foxsports.com/college-football/polls

The only one that counts is the PSC ranking, after the regular season is over the top four will have a playoff.

To further highlight the game, President Trump is supposed to attend.  The student government asked the student section to not be disruptive and things naturally exploded like a drunken crowd of over 100,000 fans.  Fans would boo Jesus, Mohammad, and Buddha so who cares ?

https://bleacherreport.com/articles/2861568-alabama-sga-denies-warning-groups-not-to-boo-donald-trump-at-game-vs-lsu

Amigo said he would send disruptive fans to The Auburn Store.

Here is a cat’s opinion on polls.  Many are run by or paid for by Democrats.  Ask Hillgal what happens to dishonest polls and their clients.  Listed below are three ( 3 ) links concerning polls.

https://fortune.com/2016/11/11/pollster-brandseye-donald-trump-brexit-social-media/

https://www.foxnews.com/politics/how-two-polls-predicted-trumps-surprise-victory

The Sphinx followed the USC Dornsife/L.A. Times Daybreak poll all of  2016 and it was a winner, unlike Hillgal who is an amoral skank loser.  We will follow them again in 2020.

https://mashable.com/2016/11/09/lat-predicts-trump-win/

Remember not to base your vote on polls.  The Communist Democrats predict their candidate winning to keep Republicans from going to the polling booth.

Believing polls is living in the fast lane.

Favorite Movie Quotes

“Say “hello” to my little friend!” Scarface, 1983

“What a dump.” Beyond the Forest, 1949

“Mrs. Robinson, you’re trying to seduce me. Aren’t you?” The Graduate, 1967

“Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here! This is the War Room!” Dr. Strangelove, 1964

“Elementary, my dear Watson.” The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, 1929
Fun fact: Sherlock Holmes never says this iconic quote in any of the books the character is based off of.

Cromer’s Mill Covered Bridge

WGN 10-59-01 Cromer’s Mill or Nail’s Creek Built in 1906 by James M.Hunt in Franklin Co. spanning Nail’s Creek, one span, 111 ft. long, Town Lattice trusses

Cromer’s Mill or Nail’s Creek Bridge over Nail’s Creek was built in 1906. Closed. State route 106 originally crossed the bridge but when the route was realigned, the bridge was abandoned, and fell into disrepair. In September 1998, extensive repairs at a cost of $147,815.00 were started, and completed a year later. The Town lattice truss is fastened together with tree-nails, has timber chin braces inside each portal, with four additional sets of galvanized steel chin braces equally spaced between the timber chin braces, that were added during the 1998-99 restoration. Set over heavily wooded Nails Creek the bridge is not open to motor traffic. It was listed on the National Register of Historic Places on August 7, 1976.

PHOTOS BY: BILL BOWSER….FROM CINCINNATI, OHIO

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Astronomy Picture of the Day

Saturn the Giant
Image Credit: NASA

Explanation: On May 25, 1961 U.S. president John Kennedy announced the goal of landing astronauts on the Moon by the end of the decade. By November 9, 1967 this Saturn V rocket was ready for launch and the first full test of its capabilities on the Apollo 4 mission. Its development directed by rocket pioneer Wernher Von Braun, the three stage Saturn V stood over 36 stories tall. It had a cluster of five first stage engines fueled by liquid oxygen and kerosene which together were capable of producing 7.9 million pounds of thrust. Giant Saturn V rockets ultimately hurled nine Apollo missions to the Moon and back again with six landing on the lunar surface. The first landing mission, Apollo 11, achieved Kennedy’s goal on July 20, 1969.

Tomorrow’s picture: WISE Young Stars