WRITTEN BY: SHEILA TOLLEY
You have heard about Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), right? A person joins AA, stands up to introduce herself, then the audience of previously confessed consumers of alcohol, return the greeting. The first meeting would go like this:
Me: Hello, my name is Sheila and I am an alcoholic.
Audience: Hello Sheila.
At this point, I am no longer alone. I have stood up and confessed to a group of people who I have never met in my life that I cannot handle my alcohol. My family may have asked me to join AA. A judge can make AA attendance mandatory. Many judges probably need to be in AA themselves but no fellow judge has ever demanded that they join.
I do not belong to AA, but I really am a member of a very special club. You cannot join this special club just because you desire to be a member. No amount of money will buy your way into my club. Unlike AA, a judge cannot demand that you join my club. The judge himself cannot join unless he already qualified many years ago. In fact, if you are not already a member of my club, you can never become a member. The enlistment time has passed. There will be no future openings for membership. If a member of my club dies, there will still be no replacement member invited to join.
My club is known as The Baby Boomers. It is a Spin-Off, or sequel so to speak, of The Greatest Generation. To join The Baby Boomers, one had to be born between 1944 and 1964. No exceptions.
We are an elite group. The previous POTUS accused us of clinging to our “Guns and Religion.” That is the only correct statement I ever remember him making, but at least he got that one right. Members of my club think people should work for a living. They also believe there are only two kinds of Americans. Those who were born here and those who passed the test.
I cannot speak for every Baby Boomer, but as for myself, Global Warming is nowhere on my long list of concerns. In fact, as I say my prayers at night, I often thank my Jesus for Global Warming. During The Ice Age, The Laurentide Ice Sheet that covered North America was two miles thick.
In that environment, it would just be way too much trouble to plant my potatoes.
By the way, if given the choice between being a Drunk or an Alcoholic, I would have to choose being a Drunk because I am too busy to attend all those meetings.
I got taters to plant.