A Whale Tale

Image result for pic of three fat women

My husband  was at a bar the other night and overheard three very hefty women talking.

Their accent appeared to be Scottish, so he approached and asked, “Hello, are you three lassies from Scotland?”

One of them angrily screeched, “It’s Wales, Wales you bloody idiot!”

So he apologized and replied, “I am so sorry.  Are you three whales from Scotland?”

He gets out of the hospital tomorrow.

I Had It All !

Homeless

I talked to a homeless man this morning and asked him how he ended up this way.  

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He said, “Up until last week, I still had it all. I had plenty to eat, my clothes were washed and pressed, I had a roof over my head, I had TV and Internet, and I went to the gym, the pool, and the library. I was working on my MBA on-line. I had no bills and no debt. I even had full medical coverage.”

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I felt sorry for him, so I asked, “What happened? Drugs? Alcohol? Divorce?”

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“Oh no, nothing like that,” he said. “No, no…. I was paroled.

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