Southern cops have a way with words!

South Carolina Highway Patrol Stickers, Decals & Bumper Stickers

These are actual comments made by South Carolina Troopers that were taken off their car videos: 
 
1. “You know, stop lights don’t come any redder than the one you just went through.” 
 
2. “Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch after you wear them a while.” 
 
3. “If you take your hands off the car, I’ll make your birth certificate a worthless document.” (My Favorite) 
 
4. “If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.” 
 
5. “Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that’s the speed of the bullet that’ll be chasing you.” (LOVE IT) 
 
6. “You don’t know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?” 
 
7. “Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don’t think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I’m the shift supervisor?” 
 
8. “Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I’m warning you not to do that again or I’ll give you another ticket.” 
 
9. “The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?” 
 
10. “Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.” 
 
11. “Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.” 
 
12. “In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC.” ( National Crime Information Center ) 
 
13. “Just how big were those ‘two beers’ you say you had?” 
 
14. “No sir, we don’t have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we’re allowed to write as many tickets as we can.” 
 
15. “I’m glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.” 
 
AND THE WINNER IS…. 
 
16. “You didn’t think we give pretty women tickets? You’re right, we don’t. Sign here.”

.
 

THE SPHINX— SUS SCROFA DOMESTIUS

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Guess who Congress is considering exempting from Monopoly Laws, THE MEDIA.

https://www.breitbart.com/tech/2022/04/07/big-media-lobbyists-try-to-save-jcpa-with-sham-amendment/

This is a puzzler, did Home Depot have sprinklers ?

https://nypost.com/2022/04/10/california-home-depot-fire-in-san-jose-visible-from-outer-space/

Maybe Norah will benefit, she will be at CNN or NPR by then.

https://nypost.com/2022/04/09/norah-odonnell-extends-cbs-news-contract-reports/

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How did Trump avoid blame ?  Suspicion was raised when they paid their hookers.

https://redstate.com/nick-arama/2022/04/07/fake-fed-agents-tried-to-infiltrate-secret-service-including-jill-bidens-detail-and-may-have-foreign-ties-n547002

Poor Bezos.

https://www.breitbart.com/tech/2022/04/08/sore-losers-amazon-plans-to-appeal-landmark-staten-island-union-win/

One juror knows the game.

https://redstate.com/alexparker/2022/04/07/sweet-florida-woman-tells-judge-she-cant-do-jury-duty-she-has-to-see-her-sugar-daddy-n547169

Just raise the price.  Tipping is out of control.  You have automatic tipping and they suggest what they want.

https://nypost.com/2022/04/08/guilt-tipping-pressure-to-tip-has-gotten-out-of-control/

Do it, make Joe send another case to the Supremes.  Plus another Biden scam story.

https://www.breitbart.com/immigration/2022/04/09/texas-holds-truck-traffic-to-change-mexicos-migration-politics/

https://nypost.com/2022/04/09/hunter-biden-frequently-covered-family-expenses-texts-reveal/

Remember, after they get your guns, knives are next.

https://www.breitbart.com/politics/2022/04/09/dc-project-fighting-fire-fire/

After Afghanistan and Ukraine, what do the Chinese think about Taiwan.  Milley is a woke fool.

https://townhall.com/tipsheet/landonmion/2022/04/09/gen-milley-says-its-possible-chaotic-afghanistan-withdrawal-could-have-influenced-putins-invasion-of-ukraine-n2605693

News from Oz.  This is a puzzler for many.

https://townhall.com/tipsheet/madelineleesman/2022/04/09/trump-endorses-dr-oz-in-pennsylvania-senate-race-n2605705

https://redstate.com/bonchie/2022/04/09/donald-trump-just-made-an-absolutely-head-scratching-endorsement-n548202

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If you forget your real line, just use another state’s.  It might be cultural appropriation, but Joe is taking a nap and will never know.

https://www.theonion.com/every-state-s-favorite-pickup-lines-1848715035

https://www.newsmax.com/

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If Instagram runs out of pedophiles, the union teachers have thousands who will work for free.

https://www.theonion.com/instagram-assures-parents-they-ve-hired-dozens-of-pedop-1848692518

https://redstate.com/

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The Guessing Editor:  What is your title about, LL ?

The Mud Cat:  That’s the scientific names for democrats or pigs.  Pigs are smarter and more attractive than dems.

https://www.crystalvalley.coop/about-us/news/article/10-facts-about-pigs

They do have a great sense of smell.  Here is a repeat of a previous photo of Nancy, Maxine Waters, and other dems sniffing out stock purchases from their insider information.  Their committee assignments give them insider info on what companies are about to do.

https://static01.nyt.com/images/2022/03/09/science/09tb-oink1/merlin_199399965_f18ecfef-4b8d-43ac-8a14-a72136c0cf89-superJumbo.jpg?quality=75&auto=webp

https://nypost.com/2022/03/24/nancy-pelosis-husband-paul-buys-tesla-stock-worth-2-2m/

This is an Arkansas Razorback Cheerleader helping in the NCAA tournament.

https://nypost.com/2022/03/27/arkansas-razorbacks-cheerleader-goes-viral-during-march-madness-game/

These swine are getting prepared.

https://townhall.com/tipsheet/mattvespa/2022/03/30/inside-the-progressive-lefts-secretive-and-massive-social-media-army-for-the-202-n2605127

The Weekly Bee.

https://babylonbee.com/podcast/basic/300

Maybe this guy can go back in time.

https://www.theonion.com/history-s-greatest-dance-dance-revolution-player-trag-1848704828

 

Astronomy Picture of the Day

A Space Station Crosses a Busy Sun
Image Credit & Copyright: Wang Letian (Eyes at Night)

Explanation: Typically, the International Space Station is visible only at night. Slowly drifting across the night sky as it orbits the Earth, the International Space Station (ISS) can be seen as a bright spot several times a year from many locations. The ISS is then visible only just after sunset or just before sunrise because it shines by reflected sunlight — once the ISS enters the Earth’s shadow, it will drop out of sight. The only occasion when the ISS is visible during the day is when it passes right in front of the Sun. Then, it passes so quickly that only cameras taking short exposures can visually freeze the ISS’s silhouette onto the background Sun. The featured picture did exactly that — it is actually a series of images taken earlier this month from Beijing, China with perfect timing. This image series was later combined with separate images taken at nearly the same time but highlighting the texture and activity on the busy Sun. The solar activity included numerous gaseous prominences seen around the edge, highlighted in red, filaments seen against the Sun’s face, and a dark sunspot.

Tomorrow’s picture: cosmic seahorse

TODAY’S BIBLE VERSE