A Great One !

THE SPHINX—WHAT 2022 GAVE US

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What a wonderful Christmas decoration.

https://babylonbee.com/news/progressive-family-adds-little-planned-parenthood-location-to-christmas-village-display

The Dutch are giving farm owners the boot.  I guess where ever the replacement food is grown will be “greener”.

https://www.breitbart.com/europe/2022/11/30/great-reset-in-full-force-dutch-govt-plans-to-shut-down-up-to-3000-farms/

https://mexiconewsdaily.com/

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A word of caution to our women readers, moderation is the key.  Don’t act like you are attending a Democrat Caucus Meeting.

https://www.theonion.com/poll-finds-82-of-drunk-women-really-needed-night-like-1849798141

https://www.newsmax.com/

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The End of 2022 Editor:  I’m glad 2022 is ending, do you have any thoughts, LL ?

The Ambivalent Cat:  I like the first paragraph of ” A Tale Of Two Cities “.   Readers have their own opinions of the year.

https://bookriot.com/a-tale-of-two-cities-first-line/

Merriam-Webster has a new word of the year.

https://abc7chicago.com/gaslighting-word-of-the-year-merriam-webster-what-is-2022/12504021/

Here is the origin of Gaslighting.  Our new readers might like to know that MST looks like Ingrid Bergman.

https://datebook.sfchronicle.com/movies-tv/the-term-gaslighting-has-its-origins-in-a-1944-movie

We have had seven years of lies and Gaslighting.  Maybe 2023 will be better.  Here is another item of interest.

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/NSFW

Is this a sample of our current word ?  Will Bezos, who owns The Post and Amazon be eating some tasty Stink Bugs ?

https://www.washingtonpost.com/health/2022/11/27/eating-insects-good-for-you/

This will be great–Cream of Mushroom soup and meal worms, M’m ! M’m !  Good.

I hope it won’t be racist when the city people have only cockroaches to eat.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/La_Cucaracha

Amigo said he was getting his protein from the worm in Tequila.

https://www.abcfws.com/monte-alban-mezcal-with-worm-tequila/641105

https://vinepair.com/wine-blog/there-shouldnt-be-a-worm-in-your-tequila-bottle/

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The Murdaugh Diary.  It looks like the trial has started.

https://nypost.com/2022/12/09/alex-murdaugh-killed-his-family-for-pity-prosecutors/

Joey has no conscious.

https://redstate.com/jimthompson/2022/12/09/bonus-cartoon-sanctioned-by-biden-approved-by-satan-the-merchant-of-death-is-back-in-business-n671494

Sue the Board of Directors and office holders.  They are responsible for people dying.

https://redstate.com/bonchie/2022/12/11/elon-musk-teases-damning-new-twitter-files-release-makes-shocking-statement-about-anthony-fauci-n672135

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I don’t see any Grand Jury investigation, over 10 people were involved.

https://redstate.com/terichristoph/2022/12/07/following-scathing-grand-jury-report-loudoun-county-has-at-long-last-fired-its-school-superintendent-n670214

The Butterfly Diary.

https://nypost.com/2022/12/10/jade-janks-killed-stepdad-for-keeping-nude-photos-of-her-prosecutors/

More info on how the New York Slime distorts the truth.

https://redstate.com/sister-toldjah/2022/12/09/new-york-times-amplifies-dangerous-new-speech-suppression-tactic-in-information-wars-n671309

I have to stop linking the hate America sites.

https://redstate.com/alexparker/2022/12/09/english-teacher-fights-the-white-supremacy-of-teaching-kids-to-write-properly-n671205

Poor Stacey.  She can go to California and be Governor.

https://redstate.com/bonchie/2022/12/08/democrats-send-stacey-abrams-on-a-long-walk-off-a-short-pier-n670794

Joey’s nuclear appointee has a second suitcase theft.  Maybe he can’t find the right size pumps.

https://nypost.com/2022/12/09/biden-nuclear-official-sam-brinton-accused-in-second-luggage-heist/

http://www.differencebetween.net/miscellaneous/fashion-beauty/difference-between-high-heels-and-pumps/

Joey loses again.

https://www.nationalreview.com/news/federal-court-blocks-biden-mandate-forcing-religious-hospitals-to-facilitate-gender-transitions/

Deep in the ocean, there are creatures stranger than in the District of Columbus.

https://nypost.com/2022/12/09/never-before-seen-fish-found-more-than-3-miles-under-the-sea/

A RedState briefing.

https://redstate.com/smoosieq/2022/12/10/redstate-weekly-briefing-musk-cotton-and-gorsuch-shine-while-dog-faced-pony-soldier-makes-mockery-of-military-n671835

A once great hospital has personnel problems.

https://nypost.com/2022/12/10/atlanta-nurses-under-fire-for-disrespectful-and-unprofessional-video/

Smiles….

Court Reporters…LOL

Five Reasons Why You Should Consider Court Reporting - CourtScribes, Inc. |  Court Reporting & Litigation Support - CourtScribes, Inc. | Court Reporting  & Litigation Support
How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?
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These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.
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ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
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ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
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ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
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ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
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ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
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ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
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ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
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ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.
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ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
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ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
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ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
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ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
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ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male.
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ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
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ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
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ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral…
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ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
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ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
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And last:
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ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

The Ventriloquist

A ventriloquist is touring Norway and puts on a show in a small fishing town. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes.

Suddenly, a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting, “I’ve heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes.  What makes you think you can stereotype Norwegian blonde women that way?  What does the color of a woman’s hair have to do with her worth as a human being?  Its men like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community, and from reaching our full potential as people. It’s people like you that make others think that all blondes are dumb!  You and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general, pathetically all in the name of humor!”

The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde interrupts him yelling, “You stay out of this!  I’m talking to that little twerp on your lap.”

 

Just for the record, I have always been a blonde. I have a sense of humor and still think blonde jokes are funny. I am convinced they are written by brunettes…after all, they have nothing else to do on Saturday nights.

-Sheila Tolley-

Laughing And Crying Emoji GIFs | Tenor

Rose

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn’t already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being. She said, ‘Hi handsome. My name is Rose.. I’m eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?’I laughed and enthusiastically responded, ‘Of course you may!’ and she gave me a giant squeeze..

‘Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?’ I asked.

She jokingly replied, ‘I’m here to meet a rich husband, get married, and have a couple of kids…’

‘No seriously,’ I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.

‘I always dreamed of having a college education and now I’m getting one!’ she told me.

After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake.

We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this ‘time machine’ as she shared her wisdom and experience with me..

Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.

At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I’ll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor. Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, ‘I’m sorry I’m so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I’ll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know.’

As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, ‘We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing.

There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor every day. You’ve got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die.

We have so many people walking around who are dead and don’t even know it!

There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up.

If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don’t do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight.

Anybody can grow older. That doesn’t take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change. Have no regrets.

The elderly usually don’t have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets..’

She concluded her speech by courageously singing ‘The Rose.’

She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives. At the year’s end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those months ago.

One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep.

Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it’s never too late to be all you can possibly be.