An Irish daughter had not been home for over ten years: Upon her return, her father yelled at her, “Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us? Not even a line. Why didn’t ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother thru?”

The girl, crying, replied. (Sniff, sniff) “Dad, I was too embarrassed, I became a prostitute!”

“Ye what?

Get out of here, ye shameless hussy! Sinner! You’re a disgrace to this Catholic family, so yer are.”

“OK, Daddy, as ye wish. I just came back to give Mammy this luxurious fur coat, a title deed to a eight bedroom mansion plus a $5 million check. For me little brother Seamus, this gold Rolex. And for ye Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that’s parked outside, plus a membership to the Limerick Country Club.

“Now what was it ye said ye had become?” Says Daddy.

Girl, crying again says. (Sniff, sniff) “A prostitute Daddy!”

“Oh Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death girl. I thought ye said a PROTESTANT.