The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.
The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories.
They were all the regular types of stuff: Spilled milk and pennies saved. But then the teacher realized, that only Janie was left.
“Janie, do you have a story to share? ‘Yes ma’am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy. She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife.
She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn’t break, and then she parachuted right into the middle of 20 Iraqi troops. She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.”
”Good Heavens, ‘said the horrified teacher. What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story’?”
“Don’t F*** with Mommy when she’s been drinking.”
I love these touching stories !!!
KEN BURNS HAS AN 18 HOUR DOCUMENTARY ABOUT VIETNAM STARTING TONIGHT AT 8 EASTERN TIME ON PBS. THIS IS PROBABLY AS CLOSE TO THE TRUTH AS YOU WILL EVER GET ABOUT THIS BIG GOVERNMENT LIE.
The Editor: Are there many fools out there, LL ?
Fool Cat: There are more fools than you can shake a dead-dog at. Here is my favorite this week.
This is a group pick. Once you don’t enforce laws/rules you pay a price.
Trump said he wasn’t a fool.
Here is a Brazilian fool, probably speaking Portuguese. The poor cat wished he had Gecko toes instead of claws.
Dear John Skipper:
You must have access to some damn good drugs if you think anyone with a brain believes your line of fecal matter. Unless POTUS Bashing and Democrat Ass kissing has become a new sport, you HAVE NO sports station. ESPN is no longer a sports station. You are a Political Analyst Wannabe. You are a Left Leaning Propaganda Peddler. You are the president of a station that is dropping in the ratings so fast that you are probably having episodes of whiplash. You should get to that lower floor real fast and grab a lifeboat because Leo DiCaprio is probably in transit to star in a new movie at the scene of your sinking Titanic. Your ratings will continue dropping, you can bet on that. They are going to drop so low that Kim Jong-un will have to bow down to crawl under them. Jemele Hill?………too disgusting to discuss.
ESPN is a telecommunications company and television station. The company is part of the Hearst Corporation, but there is an ESPN headquarters behind the business.
The ESPN headquarters is located in Bristol, Connecticut. The incorporated business runs out of the corporate office.
ESPN Headquarters 545 Middle St. Bristol, CT 06010
ESPN Headquarters offers a huge list of executives. The company employs hundreds of executives. We chose to visit a third-party, trusted website, to collect a list of the top level executives working with the company.
John Skipper – President
Patrick Steigman – Editor-in-Chief
Christine Driessen – Executive Vice President and Chief Financial Officer
Edward Ernhardt – Customer Marketing and Sales President
Patricia Betron – Senior Vice President
Christopher Bush – Senior Vice President
Artie Bulgrin – Senior Vice President
Tim Bunnell – Senior Vice President
Brian Carr – Senior Vice President
Paul Cushing – Senior Vice President and Chief Information Officer
Morris Davenport – Senior Vice President
Oliver Dizon – Senior Vice President
Vince Doria – Senior Vice President
Bill Geist – Senior Vice President
Matt Genova – Senior Vice President
Thomas Hennessy – Senior Vice President
Traug Keller – Senior Vice President
John Kosner – Executive Vice President
Lynne Kraselsky – Senior Vice President
Carol Kruse – Senior Vice President
Chris Laplaca – Senior Vice President
Board of Directors
George Ward Bodenheimer
Though there are no company brands, ESPN is considered a brand. According to some reports, the brand is worth more than $12 billion.
A Texas couple, both well into their 80’s, go to a Sex Therapist’s office.
The doctor asks, ‘What can I do for you?’
The man says, ‘Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?’
The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking for sexual advice that he agrees.
When the couple finishes, the doctor says, ‘There’s absolutely
nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse..’
He thanks them for coming, he wishes them good luck, he charges them $50 and he says good bye.
The next week, the same couple returns and asks the sex therapist to watch again. The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but agrees.
This happens several weeks in a row. The couple makes an appointment, has intercourse with no problems, pays the doctor, then leave.
Finally, after 3 months of this routine, the doctor says, ‘I’m sorry, but I have to ask. Just what are you trying to find out?’
The man says, ‘We’re not trying to find out anything.
She’s married; so we can’t go to her house. I’m married; and we can’t go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $98. The Hilton charges $139. We do it here for $50, and best of all….
Medicare pays $43 of it.
Are you ready for your next property tax increase in Pike County? The Pike County Board of Education has tentatively adopted a millage rate which will require an increase in property taxes by 15.83%.
I fully understand and appreciate the fact that churches are allowed to sit on tax free land in our country. It does bring up questions in my mind when I look at the acreage allowed for churches.
Let us take a look at The Georgia Baptist Children Home, for example. This facility has been in the same place for at least 66 years because it was there when I was born two miles from the original building. For some reason, the location address on qPublic.net now shows the location address as Vega Road. That little fact for the curious, could mean nothing or it could mean something. I do not care if they change the location address to a post office box, if the buildings will fit into one.
I do care about some other facts about The Georgia Baptist Children Home. They own 85.89 acres of land. The land is valued at 3 million, four hundred sixty eight thousand, seven hundred and seventy two dollars. Their tax class is E2-Exempt. I called to confirm what I already thought, which is…E2-Exempt means…. this is a church and does not pay taxes.
Let me give you one more example to think about as your taxes may increase by 15.83%.
Our old buddy, Teen Challenge, remember them. It sits quietly now, since the break-outs are not as vocal as they were in the past. When originally established, you will recall, the break-outs were regular and reports were followed up by our Sheriff’s Department. Then, all of a sudden…evidently, Teen Challenge did not know the children were missing…UNTIL AFTER THEY WERE FOUND working in another county.
Teen Challenge has changed ownership with the reason listed as LOVE & AFFECTION so much that, Cupid and his Valentines should live on that hill. The most recent transaction, transferred ownership from First Assembly of God, Griffin Ga INC to Teen Challenge of Florida INC.
So now, Teen Challenge of Florida, 1976 Houston Avenue, Macon, Georgia 31201 owns 36.1 E0-Exempt acres in Pike County valued at 1 million, four hundred fifty seven thousand, one hundred and forty eight dollars…..but when a problem arises, they will call the Pike County Sheriff or other emergency personnel who are paid by , THE PIKE COUNTY TAXPAYER.
So, I urge you to be kind and generous. Have loads of love and affection in your heart…as I will certainly have…as I whip out my check book to pay my, most likely increased, tax bills in the upcoming years. Remember the meeting scheduled for September 7. They need and want your love and affection….and questions, don’t forget your questions.
My personal opinion, the land for a church, cemetery and sufficient parking space should be tax exempt. I hope these things are always tax exempt in America. BUT, not a Hundred Acre Woods in which Winnie-the Pooh would get lost.
No one can fail to notice the many churches on the stretch of road between Zebulon and Georgia Baptist Children Home on highway 19 South. Some new ones and some still in the process of being built. One is located in a house…..Wow, isn’t it wonderful to have a Christian Outbreak in Pike County? It sure is, as long as they remember to abide by the Good Book…………
And Jesus answering said unto them, Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s, and to God the things that are God’s. And they marvelled at him.
If you are over sixty years old, and grew up in an UN-RICH neighborhood, you will remember this….of which I write. If you are under fifty, please don’t even read it. Do you remember when your brother or the neighborhood kids would find a stick in the yard and it would become the basis for games? Yep, that is all it took. A little limb falls from a tree and it is Game Time in the country. They would lay the old stick on the ground and toss rocks at it to see whose rock would land closest to the stick. The person who tossed their rock closest to the stick was the winner. He did not win anything…..but he was the winner! There was no such thing as Participation Trophies in those days. How stupid is that anyway….(“And now all you losers step forward to get your trophy!”) A little later in the day, the sticks would often become guns in an UN-RICH rendition of Playing Cowboys and Indians. Hold on…don’t toss that stick away too soon! I may want to use it as my little pony later this afternoon as I gallop into the sunset. Happy Trails to you….until we meet again.
I am afraid the imaginations and the creativity are gone forever from our children. You see, we have invented a new phenomenon called “ADHD.” If your children are misbehaving and you feel their issues are negatively impacting your daily life, it could be a sign of attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). ADHD is a disorder that makes it difficult for a person to pay attention and control impulsive behaviors.” It is a new disease that has become a catch-all for all misbehavior. If you get in fights, it is not your fault…you have ADHD. If you steal from others to buy your drugs, chill out Honey…we understand that you have ADHD. The amazing fact is ……there is no test that a doctor uses to confirm this new phenomenal disease. BUT…BOY DO WE HAVE some good news for you. We do have PILLS for this disease that we have magically created.
Actually, there are choices. If you prefer that your child get addicted to an Amphetamine based drug, ask your doctor for Adderall. If a Methylphenidate is your drug of choice for your child, tell your doctor that you prefer Ritalin. Do not hesitate for a moment before asking for these drugs. Ask not what you can do for your children…ask what BIG PHARMA can do for you.
I will never forget one day in grammar school…my best friend, Rhoda Dunn, and I were swinging another student in the air at recess. I had his hands and she had his feet. He would not quit aggravating us…so we double-teamed him. Everything was going fine…swish up, swish down… until the Principal of our school came around the corner. She startled us and we dropped the little aggravating nuisance.
Oh yes, I remember….Our Grammar School Principal, Mrs. George F. Bates….spanked the ADHD out of Rhoda and me that day.
Did you ever catch yourself starring out the window at school because you were so bored in the classroom? Your kid will not get by with that today. They will diagnose him with ADHD and pop him full of pills quicker than he can say….
I was looking at that stick in the yard.