“My wife and I went into town to do a little shopping. When we came out, there was a cop writing a parking ticket. We went up to him, and I said, ‘Come on, man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?’
“He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him an ‘a–hole.’ He glared at me and started writing another ticket. My wife called him a ‘s–thead.’ He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing more tickets.
“This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote. He finally finished, sneered at us and walked away.
“Just then our bus arrived, and we got on it and went home. We always look for cars with a Joe Biden sticker. It’s so important at our age to have a little fun each day!”
After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor!
Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers.
(P = the problem logged by the pilot.) (S = the solution and action taken by the engineers.) * P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. * P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. * P: Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit. * P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on back-order. * P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. * P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. * P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level. * P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That’s what they’re there for. * P: IFF inoperative. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. * P: Suspected crack in windshield. S: Suspect you’re right. * P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. * P: Aircraft handles funny. S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious. * P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. * P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed.
As a rule, nothing is more impersonal and cold than an airport. They all look alike ! Here, with this kind of initiative, I am sure travelers will remember their visit to Brussels. In a waiting room at Brussels airport, master paintings were hung on the wall. In itself, this is already an original initiative. But that’s not all. Thanks to a millimeter video-projection system, a little cupid manages to escape from a painting by Rubens ( La Fête de Venus ). A feat that is both funny, impressive and full of fantasy…
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