You will like these!

 

The King’s Weather Forecaster

The king wanted to go fishing, and he asked the royal weather forecaster the forecast for the next few hours. The palace meteorologist assured him that there was no chance of rain.

So the king and the queen went fishing. On the way he met a man with a
fishing pole riding on a donkey, and he asked the man if the fish were biting.

The fisherman said, “Your Majesty, you should return to the palace! In just
a short time I expect a huge rain storm.”

The king replied: “I hold the palace meteorologist in high regard. He is an educated and experienced professional. Besides, I pay him very high wages.
He gave me a very different forecast. I trust him.”

So the king continued on his way.

However, in a short time a torrential rain fell from the sky. The King and
Queen were totally soaked. Furious, the king returned to the palace and gave the order to behead the meteorologist.

Then he summoned the fisherman and offered him the prestigious position
of royal forecaster. The fisherman said, “Your Majesty, I do not know anything about forecasting. I obtain my information from my donkey. If I see my donkey’s ears drooping, it means with certainty that it will rain.”

So the king hired the donkey. And so began the practice of hiring dumb asses to work in influential positions of government. And thus the symbol of the democrat party was born.

The practice is unbroken to this day.

Golf and related terms

Golf…

[1] a game that consists of a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic.
[2] a game of opposites – the world’s slowest people are ahead of you, and the fastest are behind.
[3] a colorful sport that keeps you on the green, in the pink, and financially in the red.
[4] a game which is allowed to be played on Sunday (under blue laws) because it was not considered a game by the law, but a form of moral effort.
[5] a game a lot like taxation – you drive hard to get to the green, and then you find yourself in a hole.

GOLF CART…

[1] A popular mode of transportation because, unlike a caddie, it can neither count, criticize, nor snicker.

GOLFER….

[1] a person who yells “fore,” takes six, and puts down five;
[2] a guy who has the advantage over a fisherman – he doesn’t have to bring home anything when he brags he had a great day.

 

Politoons

Political Cartoons by Chip Bok

Political Cartoons by Steve Kelley

Political Cartoons by Lisa Benson

Political Cartoons by AF Branco

Political Cartoons by Ken Catalino

Political Cartoons by AF Branco

Political Cartoons by Michael Ramirez

Political Cartoons by Henry Payne

Political Cartoons by Steve Kelley

If…….

Some of the best of my collection

A.A.D.D. DO YOU RECOGNIZE THESE SYMPTOMS?

EMPEHI.COM A Blog for the Mid 60's Classes of Morgan Park High ...

 Age-Activated Attention-Deficit Disorder

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway,
I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

As I start toward the garage,
I notice mail on the porch table that
I brought up from the mail box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys on the table,
Put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,
And notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back
On the table and take out the garbage first…

But then I think,
Since I’m going to be near the mailbox
When I take out the garbage anyway,
I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my check book off the table,
And see that there is only one check left.
My extra checks are in my desk in the study,
So I go inside the house to my desk where
I find the can of Pepsi I’d been drinking   .

I’m going to look for my checks,
But first I need to push the Pepsi aside
So that I don’t accidentally knock it over.

The Pepsi is getting warm,
And I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi,
A vase of flowers on the counter
Catches my eye–they need water.

I put the Pepsi on the counter and
Discover my reading glasses that
I’ve been searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk,
But first I’m going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter ,
Fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.
Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,
I’ll be looking for the remote,
But I won’t remember that it’s on the kitchen table,
So I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,
But first I’ll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers,
But quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

So, I set the remote back on the table,
Get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to
Remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:
The car isn’t washed,
The bills aren’t paid,
There is a warm can of
Pepsi sitting on the counter,
The flowers don’t have enough water,
There is still only 1 check in my check book,
I can’t find the remote,
I can’t find my glasses,
And I don’t remember what I did with the car keys.
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,
I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all day,
And I’m really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem,
And I’ll try to get some help for it, but first I’ll check my e-mail….

Do me a favor
Forward this message to everyone you know,
Because I don’t remember who I’ve sent it to.

Don’t laugh — if this isn’t you yet, your day is coming!

I don’t remember who sent it to me, so if it was you, I’m sorry.

Just read it again…you will have forgotten it by now.

The flowers still do not have enough water.

Oh well…tomorrow is another day.

 

10 Fun Ways to Repurpose a Bouquet of Almost Dead Flowers ...

 

Old Movie Stars Dance to Uptown Funk

Best Argument for Trump 2020

ON MY SOAPBOX….china and the democrats are in bed together

Politics makes strange bedfellows.
-Charles Dudley Warner-

 


WRITTEN BY: SHEILA TOLLEY

(This post was originally published on March 13. I added an update to the end of the original post.)

 

I do not believe in coincidence. This Corona virus is an intentional plant by China. China hates President Trump just as much as the Democrats hate President Trump. The Democrats have tried every conceivable trick to take Donald Trump out of office. Stormy Daniels did not work. The 25th amendment did not work. Impeachment did not work. The next move had to be a massive drop in the stock market. REMEMBER…they have already openly stated that a recession is the only way to combat Trump’s many successes. They have managed that trick now with the Corona virus.  As a bonus, this has also shut down President Trump’s massive rallies. His successful rallies and speeches is a force that the Democrats have never witnessed before and they could not control them. The  Democrats control Main Stream Media. They will dress Joe Biden up, prop Joe Biden up and modify his conversations so that he appears to speak with complete sentences. Meanwhile, they will show our president in the worst possible light.

China and the Democrats hate the fact that President Trump was making America self-sufficient again. That is the worst nightmare for China and the Democrats. The Democrats had to give up their previous slaves, so they hate President Trump for closing the southern border which prevents their future cheap labor and massive increase in votes from entering America.

Biden and Sanders both raised their hand in the very first debate to support Medicare for illegal immigrants. They both agree to open borders. How damn stupid can potential future presidents be? How damn stupid can Americans be to vote for either of them?

Do you remember when Google refused to support our American Military System, but agreed to support China’s? When President Trump puts this Corona virus fiasco to bed, AND HE WILL! China and China’s Google will have one more major virus for America before November…..

It will infect our networking and computers…..which will shut down President Trump’s last voice to the American people….his Twitter account. 

I HATE THESE PEOPLE!

 

Update: Jack Dorsey, CEO of Twitter, is flagging President Trump’s tweets with a fact-checking label. MSM, Google, Facebook, Twitter & Democrats will continue to do everything possible to prevent Donald Trump from being re-elected in November.

Yes indeed, they are all in bed together…and it is a very disgusting orgy.

I truly do HATE THESE PEOPLE!

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