GOLF……

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The Pope met with his Cardinals to discuss a proposal from Benjamin Netanyahu, the leader of Israel.

“Your Holiness”, said one of his Cardinals, “Mr. Netanyahu wants to challenge you to a game of golf to show the friendship and ecumenical spirit shared by the Jewish and Catholic faiths.”

The Pope thought this was a good idea, but he had never held a golf club in his hand.

“Don’t we have a Cardinal to represent me?” he asked.

“None that plays very well,” a Cardinal replied. “But, there’s a man named Jack Nicklaus, an American golfer who is a devout Catholic. We can offer to make him a Cardinal. Then ask him to play Mr. Netanyahu as your personal representative. In addition, to showing our spirit of cooperation, we’ll also win the match.”

Everyone agreed it was a good idea.

The call was made. Of course, Nicklaus was honored and agreed to play.

The day after the match, Nicklaus reported to the Vatican to inform the Pope of the result. “I have some good news and some bad news, your Holiness, ” said Nicklaus.

“Tell me the good news first, Cardinal Nicklaus,” said the Pope.

“Well, your Holiness, I don’t like to brag, but even though I’ve played some pretty terrific rounds of golf in my life, this was the best I have ever played, by far. I must have been inspired from above. My drives were long and true, my irons were accurate and purposeful, and my putting was perfect. With all due respect, my play was truly miraculous.”

“There’s bad news?” asked the Pope.

“Yes, I lost by three strokes to Rabbi Tiger Woods.

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Remembering yesterday….

Maxine on Aging

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING, SURELY I CAN’T LOOK THAT OLD?

WELL……YOU’LL LOVE THIS ONE! MY NAME IS ALICE SMITH AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST. I NOTICED HIS DENTAL DIPLOMA, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME. SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK HAIRED BOY WITH THE SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY SECONDARY SCHOOL CLASS SOME 30-ODD YEARS AGO. COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN?

UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT.  THIS BALDING, GREY HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS FAR TOO OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE. AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED MORGAN PARK SECONDARY SCHOOL .

‘YES, YES I DID. I’M A MORGANNER! ‘HE BEAMED WITH PRIDE.

‘WHEN DID YOU LEAVE TO GO TO COLLEGE?’ I ASKED HE ANSWERED, IN 1965. WHY DO YOU ASK?

‘YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!’ I EXCLAIMED.

HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY.

THEN THE UGLY, OLD, BALD, WRINKLED, FAT ARSED, GREY HAIRED, DECREPIT, BASTARD ASKED..

‘WHAT SUBJECT DID YOU TEACH ‘

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Pale Blue Dot

This excerpt from Carl Sagan’s book Pale Blue Dot (1994) was inspired by an image taken at Sagan’s suggestion, by Voyager 1 on Feb14, 1990.

From a distance of about 6 billion km, Voyager 1, which had completed its primary mission and was leaving the Solar System, was commanded by NASA to turn its camera around and take one last photo of Earth across a great expanse of space, at the request of Carl Sagan. 

The accompanying words, written 25 yrs ago are still relevant today.

 

 

Old is Good!

Inspirational Quotes of the Day

 Life isn’t about getting and having, it’s about giving and being. –Kevin Kruse

Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans. –John Lennon

We become what we think about. –Earl Nightingale

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do, so throw off the bowlines, sail away from safe harbor, catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore, Dream, Discover. –Mark Twain

Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. –Charles Swindoll

 

Politoons

Political Cartoons by Steve Kelley
Political Cartoons by Tom Stiglich
Political Cartoons by AF Branco
Political Cartoons by Al Goodwyn
Political Cartoons by Bob Gorrell
Political Cartoons by Tom Stiglich
Political Cartoons by Pat Cross

You will like both of these…..

FOOD FOR THOUGHT—THE “WALL” BETWEEN CHURCH AND THE FEDERAL STATE

From: Hank Ashmore
The Deplorable Infidel

 

 

THE “WALL” BETWEEN CHURCH AND THE FEDERAL STATE

When Thomas Jefferson was serving in the Virginia legislature, he introduced a bill to have a day of fasting and prayer; but when he became President, Jefferson said there was no authority in the federal government to proclaim religious holidays. In a letter to the Danbury Baptists Association dated January 1, 1802, he explained his position and said the constitution had created “a wall of separation between church and State”.

In recent years the Supreme Court has used this metaphor as an excuse for meddling in the religious issues arising within the various states. As we shall see later, it has not only presumed to take jurisidiction in these disputes, but has actually forced the states to take the same hands-off position toward religious matters, even though this restriction originally applied to the federal government. This obvious distortion of the original intent of Jefferson (when he used the metaphor of a “wall” separating church and state) becomes entirely apparent when the statements and actions of Jefferson are examined in their historical context.

It will be recalled that Jefferson and Madison were anxious that the states intervene in religious matters until there was equality among all religions and that all churches or religions assigned preferential treatment should be disestablished from such preferment. They further joined with the other Founders in expressing an anxiety that ALL religions be encouraged in order to promote the moral fiber and religious tone of the people . This of course, would be impossible if there were an impenetrable “wall” between church and state on the state level. Jefferson’s “wall’ was obviously intended only for the federal government, and the Supreme Court application of this metaphor to the states has come under severe criticism.

 

WAKE UP AMERICA BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE!

“If our country is to survive and prosper, we must summon the courage to condemn and reject the liberal agenda, and we had better do it soon.” 

-Walter Williams-

 

AN OPINION FROM THE DEPLORABLE INFIDEL

Obama gave $150 billion to our enemy Iran, which is giving aid and comfort to the enemy, and nobody said anything. Obama gave weapons to the drug cartels in Mexico resulting in a depth of an American border agent and nobody said anything. Obama used the IRS to attack his political enemies and nobody said anything. Obama lied before the United Nations when he stated the attack on Benghazi was the result of a video and nobody said anything. Obama gave billions of dollars to solar energy companies which all went bankrupt and nobody said anything. And so on.

President Trump makes a phone call to another world leader and the moron America hating Democrats want him impeached.

 

A SIMPLE TRUTH FOR TODAY

Men are most apt to believe what they least understand.

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Today’s Chuckle

Image result for a stack of parking tickets on windshield
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“My wife and I went into town to do a little shopping. When we came out, there was a cop writing a parking ticket. We went up to him, and I said, ‘Come on, man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?’

“He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him an ‘a–hole.’ He glared at me and started writing another ticket. My wife called him a ‘s–thead.’ He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing more tickets.

“This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote. He finally finished, sneered at us and walked away.

“Just then our bus arrived, and we got on it and went home. We always look for cars with a Bernie Sanders sticker. It’s so important at our age to have a little fun each day!”

 

Image result for car with bernie stickers

FOOD FOR THOUGHT—THE “WALL” BETWEEN CHURCH AND THE FEDERAL STATE

From: Hank Ashmore
The Deplorable Infidel

 

 

THE “WALL” BETWEEN CHURCH AND THE FEDERAL STATE

The announcers for the Major League Baseball division championships are about to drive this fan from watching baseball. They just never shut up, instead going on and on about their favorite inanity of the game at hand. They have an annoying propensity for talking as if the people at home were tyros, completely clueless about the game and uninformed about players we’ve watched all season.

With few exceptions, it doesn’t matter which teams are playing or which announcers are blabbing; they give the TV-watcher no peace and quiet to savor the game. The stations try to have a Hall of Fame color commentator on hand to lend wise counsel on what’s happening out there on the diamond, and usually that guy has no feel for how much is too much.

The worst such offender is John Smoltz, who in his pitching days was one of my faves. Smoltz, will you please not talk so much? We accept that you know more about pitching than anybody who ever threw a baseball, but we’re not really all that interested in the exacting details of the craft. You’re almost as bad that way as the worst color guy of all times and places. Bill Walton at a basketball game. The only guy worse than Smoltz is hall-of Famer Randy Johnson, who vies with Smoltz for not knowing how much is too much and adds to that a gravelly voice that grates harshly on the ear.

Even worse are the professional announcer cast. Some of these guys seem to be vying with the color commentator to exhibit their deep understanding of the more abstruse points of the game, or their profound grasp of the psychology of a given moment. They can’t just say some young guy’s performing well under pressure; they have to make him sound like Moses coming down the mountain with tablets in arms at the age of 5. The most detestable of this crew is Bob Costas, who a few years ago used his spot one evening to preach to America about gun control. I dread the Yankees winning the American League pennant; it would mean having to endure Costas sneaking in snarky comments about illegals at the border or the horrors of guns or Trump or blah, blah, blah. Costas once was pretty good, but he chocked that chicken with politics, and now I don’t even want to hear his voice.

One yearns for the days of the Tony Kubek – Joe Garagiola team of the seventies. Or even better still Dizzy Dean and Pee Wee Reese in the fifties. When the game was dull, you could always rely on Dizzy singing his rendition of The Warbash Caonnonball. Arizona announcers Steve Berthiaume and Bob Brenly set a high standard today. They clearly enjoy working together, and humor just naturally arises between them as the game progresses. They are actually pretty good entertainment all by themselves, quite apart from the game.

Other television teams would do well to study Brethiaume and Brenly to get a clue about how the job should be done. Good announcing is significantly more than knowing the game and having a string of accomplishments; it’s also knowing the people you work with and the people you’re talking to (the TV audience). These neglected aspects of the entertainment that is baseball, especially at the time of year when it draws the most attention, detract greatly from what should be sheer fun and enjoyment.

Richard Jack Rail

 

WAKE UP AMERICA BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE!

“If our country is to survive and prosper, we must summon the courage to condemn and reject the liberal agenda, and we had better do it soon.”

-Walter Williams-

 

AN OPINION FROM THE DEPLORABLE INFIDEL

The Deplorable Infidel totally agrees with Mr. Rail. But he omitted the worst of the professional cast. That honor goes to Dan Hicks, who is the golf commentator for NBC Sports. This man never knows when to shut up. He gives the total career highlights of every golfer as they play a hole. He needs to go back and watch Jimmy Demaret and Gene Sarazen on “Shell’s Wonderful World of Golf” to see how to announce golf. These gentlemen were your professional announcers. When the golf tournament is on NBC, I just utilize the mute button. Makes watching a lot more enjoyable.

 

A SIMPLE TRUTH FOR TODAY

A little government involvement is just as dangerous as a lot – because the first leads inevitably to the second.

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