Archive | January 2021

I Had It All…

Homeless man — Stock Vector © memoangeles #38495591

 

I talked with a homeless man this morning and asked him how he ended up this way.

He said, “Up until last week, I still had it all.

I had plenty to eat, my clothes were washed and pressed,

I had a roof over my head,

I had HDTV and Internet, and I went to the gym, the pool, and the library.

I was working on my MBA on-line.

I had no bills and no debt.

I even had full medical benefits coverage.

I felt sorry for him, so I asked, “What happened? Drugs? Alcohol? Divorce?”

Oh no, nothing like that,” he said. “

“Because of Coronavirus, I was unexpectedly paroled.”

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ON MY SOAPBOX…Oh me, they took my meme


WRITTEN BY: SHEILA TOLLEY

 

I had a nice little MEME all scheduled to post for you this morning. Before I could get it posted, The Speech Gods stole it. They locked it away.

The Speech Gods have unique ways of hiding the censored information they steal from us.

As you know, Mark Zuckerberg stole the Facebook idea from twins, Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss. In court, Zuckerberg was forced to pay the twins $65 Million Dollars for his little heist. (True story)

Since Zuckerberg is such a thief himself, he trusts no one. That is why he bought Hawaii. He has ten, 3-ply Copper containers the size of semi trucks located in the middle of the island. He hides in one, that is why he is as white as Anderson Cooper. He uses the other nine containers to store the information that he steals, through censorship, from people around the world.

Twitterbird, Jack Dorsey, is a different story. He did not steal Twitter. Dorsey has explained the origin of the “Twitter” title this way: “We came across the word ‘twitter’ and it was just perfect. The definition was ‘a short burst of inconsequential information, and ‘chirps from birds’. And that’s exactly what the product was.”  (True story)

Well, Twitterbird Dorsey loved “All The Little Birds On Jaybird Street And All The Little Robins Going Tweet, Tweet, Tweet….until he didn’t. That happened when he decided that President Trump’s tweets were no longer “inconsequential.” Twitterbird Dorsey hides all his stolen information in a Secret Cave in The Kingdom of Moo. That is why he looks so much like Alley OOP. The Kingdom of Moo insists on a scraggly beard and the cave man dress code to this very day.

Amazon’s, Jeff Bezos, is the richest Speech God of all. Bezos owns 30,000 branded delivery vehicles and 20,000 branded trailers. (True fact)

Bezos previously paid all his little slaves $4.25 an hour and all the Amazon Smiley boxes they wanted. Tucker Carlson finally shamed him into paying the minimum wage, but he took away the perk of free Smiley boxes.

Bezos enjoys hiding his censored information in a different Amazon branded trailer each day. Rumor has it that he often jumps in the trailer and rides with the censored information. Between the drivers, that particular trailer is known as The Motherload for that day. He is like a cross between The Joker and Howard Hughes. Drivers report strange noises coming from the Motherload trailer and assorted wigs, heels, dresses, garters, thigh high hosiery,etc must be frequently discarded.

But, who knows maybe they were just damaged, undelivered Smiley boxes for Lady Gaga, Dolly Parton or Cher.

 

 

THE SPHINX—GET RICH CAT

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RIP Cicely Tyson.

https://redstate.com/jenniferoo/2021/01/29/pioneering-actress-cicely-tyson-dead-at-96-after-an-illustrious-70-year-career-n318468

February is Black History Month.  All Americans should peacefully protest like BLM.  The following article is Cat-Checked to be LIBERAL  BS.

https://www.breitbart.com/politics/2021/01/29/black-lives-matter-movement-nominated-nobel-peace-prize/

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Biden is a cat’s paw for the media, including the social media monopolies.

https://www.foxnews.com/opinion/tucker-carlson-robinhood-gamestop-and-wall-streets-rigged-game

I pray for Biden every day.

https://redstate.com/wag/2020/10/27/halloween-toon-spooky-stories-n270672

https://thefederalist.com/

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Yellen is another Biden pinko.

https://townhall.com/tipsheet/leahbarkoukis/2021/01/29/the-white-houses-reaction-to-the-gamestop-frenzy-n2583904

https://nypost.com/2021/01/29/gamestop-shares-explode-as-robinhood-lifts-restrictions/

https://townhall.com/tipsheet/mattvespa/2021/01/28/of-course-bidens-treasury-secretary-has-connections-to-hedge-fund-thrashed-by-p-n2583887

https://www.newsmax.com/

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I Lost A Bunch Editor:  How can I get rich quick, LL ?  I lost a fortune short-selling GameStop stock.

https://www.morningstar.com/articles/1019249/what-the-heck-is-going-on-with-gamestop

https://www.investopedia.com/terms/s/shortselling.asp

Fat Cat:  You were gambling with other people’s money.  Too bad.  You should have watched more Popeye cartoons. Poor people only have two participants.  Wimpy was always kind of short-selling.  Another form for poor people is borrowing from Peter to pay Paul.

https://townhall.com/tipsheet/leahbarkoukis/2021/01/28/why-wall-street-is-losing-its-mind-n2583843

https://pastorappreciationblog.com/2013/01/04/really-where-did-the-phrase-rob-peter-to-pay-paul-come-from/

Nancy might rescue the stock market failures.

https://babylonbee.com/news/bankrupted-hedge-fund-managers-to-receive-600-stimulus

You could always invest in Pigleosi’s favorite ice cream.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8939861/Left-wing-Democrats-claim-Pelosis-expensive-ice-cream-drawer-voters-lockdown-crisis.html

Astronomy Picture of the Day

Asteroids in the Distance
Image Credit: NASA, ESA, Hubble; R. Evans & K. Stapelfeldt (JPL)

Explanation: Rocks from space hit Earth every day. The larger the rock, though, the less often Earth is struck. Many kilograms of space dust pitter to Earth daily. Larger bits appear initially as a bright meteor. Baseball-sized rocks and ice-balls streak through our atmosphere daily, most evaporating quickly to nothing. Significant threats do exist for rocks near 100 meters in diameter, which strike the Earth roughly every 1000 years. An object this size could cause significant tsunamis were it to strike an ocean, potentially devastating even distant shores. A collision with a massive asteroid, over 1 km across, is more rare, occurring typically millions of years apart, but could have truly global consequences. Many asteroids remain undiscovered. In the featured image, one such asteroid — shown by the long blue streak — was found by chance in 1998 by the Hubble Space Telescope. A collision with a large asteroid would not affect Earth‘s orbit so much as raise dust that would affect Earth’s climate. One likely result is a global extinction of many species of life, possibly dwarfing the ongoing extinction occurring now.

Tomorrow’s picture: bunny-moon

Casey at the Bat

Published: The Examiner (06-03-1888)

Image result for pic casey at the bat

It all started in 1885 when George Hearst decided to run for state senator in California. To self-promote his brand of politics, Hearst purchased the San Francisco Examiner. At the completion of the election, Hearst gave the newspaper to his son, William Randolph Hearst.

William, who had experience editing the Harvard Lampoon while at Harvard College, took to California three Lampoon staff members. One of those three was Ernest L. Thayer who signed his humorous Lampoon articles with the pen name Phin.

In the June 3, 1888 issue of The Examiner, Phin appeared as the author of the poem we all know as Casey at the Bat. The poem received very little attention and a few weeks later it was partially republished in the New York Sun, though the author was now known as Anon.

A New Yorker named Archibald Gunter clipped out the poem and saved it as a reference item for a future novel. Weeks later Gunter found another interesting article describing an upcoming performance at the Wallack Theatre by comedian De Wolf Hopper – who was also his personal friend. The August 1888 show (exact date is unknown) had members from the New York and Chicago ball clubs in the audience and the clipping now had a clear and obvious use.

Gunter shared Casey at the Bat with Hopper and the perfomance was nothing short of legendary. Baseball Almanac is pleased to present the single most famous baseball poem ever written.

The Outlook wasn’t brilliant for the Mudville nine that day:
The score stood four to two, with but one inning more to play.
And then when Cooney died at first, and Barrows did the same,
A sickly silence fell upon the patrons of the game.

A straggling few got up to go in deep despair. The rest
Clung to that hope which springs eternal in the human breast;
They thought, if only Casey could get but a whack at that –
We’d put up even money, now, with Casey at the bat.

But Flynn preceded Casey, as did also Jimmy Blake,
And the former was a lulu and the latter was a cake;
So upon that stricken multitude grim melancholy sat,
For there seemed but little chance of Casey’s getting to the bat.

But Flynn let drive a single, to the wonderment of all,
And Blake, the much despis-ed, tore the cover off the ball;
And when the dust had lifted, and the men saw what had occurred,
There was Jimmy safe at second and Flynn a-hugging third.

Then from 5,000 throats and more there rose a lusty yell;
It rumbled through the valley, it rattled in the dell;
It knocked upon the mountain and recoiled upon the flat,
For Casey, mighty Casey, was advancing to the bat.

There was ease in Casey’s manner as he stepped into his place;
There was pride in Casey’s bearing and a smile on Casey’s face.
And when, responding to the cheers, he lightly doffed his hat,
No stranger in the crowd could doubt ’twas Casey at the bat.

Ten thousand eyes were on him as he rubbed his hands with dirt;
Five thousand tongues applauded when he wiped them on his shirt.
Then while the writhing pitcher ground the ball into his hip,
Defiance gleamed in Casey’s eye, a sneer curled Casey’s lip.

And now the leather-covered sphere came hurtling through the air,
And Casey stood a-watching it in haughty grandeur there.
Close by the sturdy batsman the ball unheeded sped-
“That ain’t my style,” said Casey. “Strike one,” the umpire said.

From the benches, black with people, there went up a muffled roar,
Like the beating of the storm-waves on a stern and distant shore.
“Kill him! Kill the umpire!” shouted someone on the stand;
And its likely they’d a-killed him had not Casey raised his hand.

With a smile of Christian charity great Casey’s visage shone;
He stilled the rising tumult; he bade the game go on;
He signaled to the pitcher, and once more the spheroid flew;
But Casey still ignored it, and the umpire said, “Strike two.”

“Fraud!” cried the maddened thousands, and echo answered fraud;
But one scornful look from Casey and the audience was awed.
They saw his face grow stern and cold, they saw his muscles strain,
And they knew that Casey wouldn’t let that ball go by again.

The sneer is gone from Casey’s lip, his teeth are clenched in hate;
He pounds with cruel violence his bat upon the plate.
And now the pitcher holds the ball, and now he lets it go,
And now the air is shattered by the force of Casey’s blow.

Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright;
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light,
And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout;
But there is no joy in Mudville – mighty Casey has struck out.

“Phin”

 

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Why are letters called Uppercase and Lowercase?

Image result for upper case and lowercase

Answer: Shelving

Although the origins of many words are rather odd and esoteric in nature, the origins of the words “uppercase” and “lowercase” to refer to capitalized and uncapitalized letters is quite straightforward.

Back when every bit of printed material had to be handset by a printer or their assistants, the letters were arranged by frequency of use. The infrequently used capital letters went in the “uppercase”, a slanted shelf above the main work area. The frequently used uncapitalized letters went in the “lowercase”, a more accessible shelf closer to the workstation.

“I know this never kept you awake at night, but I am here to deliver worthless knowledge. So feel free to file this away in your worthless knowledge folder.”

-Sheila-

Sally’s Report Card

Eight-year-old Sally brought her report card home from school. Her marks were good…mostly A’s and a couple of B’s.

However, her teacher had written across the bottom:

Sally is a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too much in school. I have an idea I am going to try, which I think may break her of the habit.

Sally’s dad signed her report card, putting a note on the back:

Please let me know if your idea works on Sally because I would like to try it out on her mother.

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