WRITTEN BY: SHEILA TOLLEY

I had a nice little MEME all scheduled to post for you this morning. Before I could get it posted, The Speech Gods stole it. They locked it away.

The Speech Gods have unique ways of hiding the censored information they steal from us.

As you know, Mark Zuckerberg stole the Facebook idea from twins, Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss. In court, Zuckerberg was forced to pay the twins $65 Million Dollars for his little heist. (True story)

Since Zuckerberg is such a thief himself, he trusts no one. That is why he bought Hawaii. He has ten, 3-ply Copper containers the size of semi trucks located in the middle of the island. He hides in one, that is why he is as white as Anderson Cooper. He uses the other nine containers to store the information that he steals, through censorship, from people around the world.

Twitterbird, Jack Dorsey, is a different story. He did not steal Twitter. Dorsey has explained the origin of the “Twitter” title this way: “We came across the word ‘twitter’ and it was just perfect. The definition was ‘a short burst of inconsequential information, and ‘chirps from birds’. And that’s exactly what the product was.”  (True story)

Well, Twitterbird Dorsey loved “All The Little Birds On Jaybird Street And All The Little Robins Going Tweet, Tweet, Tweet….until he didn’t. That happened when he decided that President Trump’s tweets were no longer “inconsequential.” Twitterbird Dorsey hides all his stolen information in a Secret Cave in The Kingdom of Moo. That is why he looks so much like Alley OOP. The Kingdom of Moo insists on a scraggly beard and the cave man dress code to this very day.

Amazon’s, Jeff Bezos, is the richest Speech God of all. Bezos owns 30,000 branded delivery vehicles and 20,000 branded trailers. (True fact)

Bezos previously paid all his little slaves $4.25 an hour and all the Amazon Smiley boxes they wanted. Tucker Carlson finally shamed him into paying the minimum wage, but he took away the perk of free Smiley boxes.

Bezos enjoys hiding his censored information in a different Amazon branded trailer each day. Rumor has it that he often jumps in the trailer and rides with the censored information. Between the drivers, that particular trailer is known as The Motherload for that day. He is like a cross between The Joker and Howard Hughes. Drivers report strange noises coming from the Motherload trailer and assorted wigs, heels, dresses, garters, thigh high hosiery,etc must be frequently discarded.

But, who knows maybe they were just damaged, undelivered Smiley boxes for Lady Gaga, Dolly Parton or Cher.