Katie Couric, Charlie Gibson, Brian Williams and a tough old U.S. Marine Sergeant were captured by terrorists in Iraq . The leader of the terrorists told them he’d grant each of them one last request before they were beheaded and dragged naked through the streets.

Katie Couric said, ‘Well, I’m a Southerner, so I’d like one last plate of fried chicken.’

The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with the chicken. Couric ate it all and said, ‘Now I can die content.’

Charlie Gibson said, ‘I’m living in ‘ New York , so I’d like to hear the song, The Moon and Me, one last time.’

The terrorist leader nodded to another terrorist who had studied the Western world and knew the music. He returned with some rag-tag musicians and played the song.

Gibson was satisfied.

Brian Williams said, ‘I’m a reporter to the end. I want to take out my tape recorder and describe the scene here and what’s about to happen. Maybe, someday, someone will hear it and know that I was on the job till the end.’

The leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder and Williams dictated his comments.

Williams then said, ‘Now I can die happy.’

The leader turned and asked, ‘And now, Mr.. U..S. Marine, what is your final wish?

‘Kick me in the ass,’ said the Marine.

‘What?’ asked the leader, ‘Will you mock us in your last hour?’

‘No, I’m NOT kidding. I want you to kick me in the ass,’ insisted the Marine.

So the leader shoved him into the yard and kicked him in the ass.

The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9 mm pistol from inside his cammies and shot the leader dead.

In the resulting confusion, he emptied his sidearm on six terrorists, then with his knife he slashed the throat of one, and with an AK-47, which he grabbed from a dead terrorist’s body, sprayed the rest of the terrorists killing another 11.

In a flash, all of them were either dead or fleeing for their lives.

As the Marine was untying Couric, Gibson, and Williams, they asked him, “Why did you ask him to kick you in the ass? Why didn’t you just shoot them all in the first place?”

‘What?’ replied the Marine, ‘and have you three assholes report that I was the aggressor…..?’

Semper Fi!

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WRITTEN BY: BILL BOWSER

 

Many years ago I developed a theory about how people deal with problems that has proven to be true in almost all cases. Stated simply it says that there are always ample reasons not to take any proposed course of action, regardless of how necessary that action may be.

Evidence of this can be found whenever a group assembles to solve a problem or develop a strategy to achieve a goal. Since no one thinks as highly of an idea as its originator, there are always some who will point out potential pitfalls (which may be totally ridiculous) for any proposal. They seem to think that doing nothing is a better approach. Of course this makes no sense at all, everyone should realize that no plan is perfect and everything involves risk.

Then you also have those who, with the enormous benefit of hindsight, criticize what has been done because perfection was not achieved.

Many in the so-called news media and the leftists use these strategies against the Trump administration and the American people. They serve no useful purpose and only impede progress.

An old adage says that “It takes all kinds.” That’s not true, we happen to have all kinds. There are some we could do very well without.

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“Trump said he was being sarcastic! The Reason why? He was calling out big pharma because they have been doing that to you  for years ! Did you know that thimerosal & formaldehyde are disinfectants? Did you know you’re injecting those into your body via vaccines?

There are other names which could have been added, but these are probably  the biggest screamers:

Hi everybody:  A friend sent me this information – think you will enjoy! So, let’s see if we have this correct?  These politicians have been in office – how many years?  See below:

Biden  –  44 years

Schumer – 38 years

Pelosi   –  32 years

Waters –  28 years

Nadler  –  27 years

Schiff  –  20 years


TRUMP –  36 MONTHS

So, please tell us ALL again – why is everything Trump’s fault? 

WRITTEN BY: SHEILA TOLLEY

 

I know everyone in Tolley’s Topics Readerland knows just how much I love our prize of Georgia, Stacey (I’m A racist) Abrams. In fact, I love her so much that I wrote her a little rap song. Be sure to get your mental image properly dressed. Racey Stacey in her Moo Moo doing a Hip Hop song & dance for her Joe Joe….then read it with Rappy Rhythm. Racey Stacey calls her dance The Corn Pop Hop. Above all, remember, a good rapper must ALWAYS grab their crotch multiple times during the chorus….Enjoy!

 

hey joe, whats up, bro?…i’m doing lotsa interviews, ya know…you gotta pick a woman you all locked into dat…you don’t need kamala, after yo little spat…on dat stage, you was two fools a’fussing…she was a’yellin, bout  yo skool kid bussin’

wake up joe, i’ll be yo Mo Jo

stand up joe, i’ll be yo Mo Jo

old Californi is gonna stay blue… with my racey stacey help…you could swing Georja too…i am da govnor of dis state of da peach…so we all know for sure Veep is in my reach…you gotta do, what you gotta do…cause Tara Reade’s Mama done told on you… they gonna use their bag of tricks, …with Larry King a’starring on Netflix

wake up joe, i’ll be yo Mo Jo

stand up joe, i’ll be yo Mo Jo

yo hair smellin’ and woman grabbin’ is blowing up on you…and after all that happens…you have to fight #MeToo…i know you a’hopin’ they forget about yo gropin…but tv ads gonna help those pictures scatter… you need me, Ray Charles can even see…you have to have the love of #BlackLivesMatter

wake up joe, i’ll be yo Mo Jo

stand up joe, i’ll be yo Mo Jo