Archive | April 11, 2020



Joe will be a great candidate.


The Editor:  Is this another special about naked politicians, LL ?

Nude Cat:  No, the title is from an old TV show–there are eight million stories in the naked city, this has been one.  I just used the title to get more viewers.

TE:  What is your article about, NC ?

Quarantine Cat:  It’s about one of our loyal readers not being able to get her hair done. 

Our loyal reader’s husband is Vital Sassoon.  He said her hair looked like Hillary in her green pantsuit.  The one where she looks like a wet dog.

A lot of people are having problems with salons being closed.  I sure hope it looks better than these.

Our DIYers ordered enough dye to last a year and  a half.  They should have been in charge of ventilators.

I will certainly keep every one informed, only Mr Sassoon will know for sure.

Oh look, it turned out well.

“If by whiskey”

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The Whiskey Speech
By: Noah S. “Soggy” Sweat, Jr.


Judge Noah S. “Soggy” Sweat, Jr. was a judge, law professor, and state representative in the US State of Mississippi. He became notable for his 1952 speech on the floor of the Mississippi State Legislature concerning his position on the prohibition of alcohol which was still in force in the state at that time. Reportedly the speech took Sweat two and a half months to write. The speech is renowned for the grand rhetorical terms in which it seems to come down firmly and decisively on both sides of prohibition. The speech gave rise to the phrase “If by whiskey,” used to illustrate such equivocation of positions in an argument.

Is there a value in being able to argue a position from both sides before you decide? Most tough issues are tough because they do have two sides.


The Whisky Speech

My friends, I had not intended to discuss this controversial subject at this particular time. However, I want you to know that I do not shun controversy. On the contrary, I will take a stand on any issue at any time, regardless of how fraught with controversy it might be. You have asked me how I feel about whiskey. All right, this is how I feel about whiskey:


If when you say whiskey you mean the devil’s brew, the poison scourge, the bloody monster, that defiles innocence, dethrones reason, destroys the home, creates misery and poverty, yea, literally takes the bread from the mouths of little children; if you mean the evil drink that topples the Christian man and woman from the pinnacle of righteous, gracious living into the bottomless pit of degradation, and despair, and shame and helplessness, and hopelessness, then certainly I am against it.


But, if when you say whiskey you mean the oil of conversation, the philosophic wine, the ale that is consumed when good fellows get together, that puts a song in their hearts and laughter on their lips, and the warm glow of contentment in their eyes; if you mean Christmas cheer; if you mean the stimulating drink that puts the spring in the old gentleman’s step on a frosty, crispy morning; if you mean the drink which enables a man to magnify his joy, and his happiness, and to forget, if only for a little while, life’s great tragedies, and heartaches, and sorrows; if you mean that drink, the sale of which pours into our treasuries untold millions of dollars, which are used to provide tender care for our little crippled children, our blind, our deaf, our dumb, our pitiful aged and infirm; to build highways and hospitals and schools, then certainly I am for it.


This is my stand. I will not retreat from it. I will not compromise.


(“Soggy” Sweat, Jr. was born in Alcorn County, entered elementary school at the age of four and graduated Corinth High School in 1939. His nickname was given to him by a classmate who thought his red hair resembled the tassel on a sorghum stalk. He began calling him “Soghum” which later turned into “Soggy”.)

Gray’s River Covered Bridge

47-35-01 – Gray’s River CB -Washington- Built in 1905 Spanning Gray’s R. on Covered Bridge Rd. in Wahkiakum Co. 158 ft. long, two span, Howe trusses

The Gray’s River Bridge was built across Grays River in 1905 to help local dairy farmers get their goods to market. It was covered three years later to protect bridge timbers from the weather. The covered bridge was placed on the National Register of Historic Places in 1971, but by 1987 it had serious structural deficiencies. Because of the bridge’s status as a tourist attraction, Wahkiakum County funded the 1988-1989 rehabilitation project that essentially built a new bridge using the original design and as much hardware and siding as could be salvaged from the original. The completed structure was dedicated on September 30, 1989.